One Man, One Women, and No More Than One Generation

Mitt Romney speaking at Liberty University founded by Jerry Falwell, where blacks and whites were not allowed to hold hands; yes, that bastion of tolerance said that marriage must continue to be defined as one man and one woman. But that was a complete sentence and not a complete truth; because the complete truth would have been going back no more than one generation. Because if you go back two generations, Mitt Romney’s grandfather didn’t have just one wife, or two or three or four, no, he had five. Which is, not to judge Mitt Romney on the behavior of his grandfather but as noted conservative religious theorist Ralph Reed said he’s with Mitt Romney because he supports a principle that’s going back 5,00 years. Which brings us to one last thought; we know the Mormon’s are long lived, but did Mitt Romney’s grandfather go back 5,000 years?

WORD OF THE WEEK

This is our word of the week and we don’t have words every week. But it’s where someone knows just enough political facts to make wrong arguments and make them in a reasoned way another version of course was a complete sentence versus a complete truth. This weeks word is "braindangerous".

Gitmo Texas

For three years President Obama tried to get the masterminds of the 9-11 attacks tried in civilian court. They will now be tried in Gitmo as the change in venue received too much resistance. Civilian courts have had a pretty good track record (actually, a perfect record) of putting terror suspects away. We thought of a compromise: If you can’t be in a military court, and if they wont allow a cilvilian court, why not compromise? Try them in Texas.

Jane Has Cancer, Well No

"Jane has cancer and has no health insurance" is the actual title of a website by a lady who put in for a compassionate public to help her with her “breast cancer challenges.” Over $8,000 was raised and she did spend it, well, on her breasts, actually for any augementation as opposed to any health measures. She did have a problem with her breasts as in her own self image and she wanted them larger. She took the money, and she’s under arrest. Bless the people who gave to her so that they don’t feel like boobs. Sorry, couldn’t resist it. But, she does get to keep them. Who says crime doesn’t pay or at least augment.

Let’s Nip This Crap In The Bud

Pine Ridge is one of the largest Native American reservations in the country. Alcohol is forbidden. However the liquor stores in Whiteclay, Nebraska, population 10 (that’s right t-e-n) sells more than 4,000,000 cans of beer and liquor annually as Anheuser-Busch uses that as it’s gateway into the Indian economy where they are not legally allowed to sell. 90% of the arrests by tribal police are alcohol related as are a similar percentage of juveniles. Frankly, if Anheuser Busch would have the capacity for shame they would probably have it, but they don’t. Mockery and money are the only way things get changed in this world and what little we at Real Faux News can do, we recommend agreeing with Nicholas Kristoff in calling for a nationwide boycott against Anheuser-Busch. They can’t feel but they can count.

YOU MIGHT GET SHOT, BUT YOU WONT GET WET

At the Tampa Republican convention this year due to the heavy NRA influence over the state of Florida they will be allowed to block people carrying squirt guns which look like weapons but just not real guns. That’s correct, there will be no way the State of Florida or the local police can prevent people from walking around with real guns strapped to their hip locked and loaded up to 30 round magazines, but squirt guns however are forbidden. So you might get shot but you won’t get wet.

Bit By Bit Mitt defines Mitt

So according to Federal law the nature of Mitt Romney’s donors finally came out and only nine percent gave $200 or less. It’s one on one literally, the one percent of the one percent for the one percent. Or, to paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, government of the one percent by the one percent for the one percent.

Re-plagiarizing in Advance

We are re-plagiarizing in advance again and it’s the great one. We are complimented and of course apologetic to have plagiarized in advance as we have so often done, and this time it’s the great Steven Colbert. Not only did we pre-empt his thunder, but we've been doing it apparently repeatedly for many months with our phrase when people are giving the go ahead to the former speaker "the aye of the Newt". And last night that was his lead segment, exactly that of the "aye of the Newt". We are at once gratified and as we said a little chagrin because we have plagiarized in advance in the past. We sometimes used most of someone’s phrase, this time we used all of it. Hope you can forgive us.

Making Legal Waves, Micro Style

This is a new one but at the Grand Hyatt in Denver they have a microwave if people wish to reheat their coffee. Which they will kindly do, if … you sign a waiver stating that you understand that microwaving might affect the taste. You fill out the form, sign it, date it, print your name then they will microwave your coffee. Talk about making microwaves on a legal scale.

What’s Broken in Florida

What’s broken in Florida is not George Zimmerman’s nose. The lawyer for George Zimmerman had said he claimed his nose was broken in the fight and he also had a gash in the back of his head. So he brings up the argument for self defense. So let’s look at the photos. Oh wait, he took none. But there are some surveillance videos shot after Trayvon Martin was lying there dead and it shows Mr. Zimmerman with the police and his head and face are visible the whole time and they are unmarked. What has left a mark is Florida justice and hopefully this makes a mark on people. You gotta wonder how these self appointed yahoos can carry guns and do what police can’t, shoot people without reports or accountability. No policeman can do that nor should they. And this guy, unmarked, un-bloodied and in their attitude un-bowed, never even has to make a report on how he took another human life. There is a lot broken in Florida but none of it is George Zimmerman’s nose.

WOULD THE REVERSE BE ADVERSE?

This marks the beginning of a new feature. Also done as a stand-up act at Real Fox News in which we describe a rumor and or factoid about a person in the public's eye and say if it had been about some one on the opposite side of the argument would have been major, minor, or non existent issue. But would the reverse have been adverse? What if we were to tell you that George Zimmerman the shooter of Trayvon Martin had been involved with drugs and suspended from his daily rounds because of it? Important or no? What if we had told you that Trayvon Martin had been arrested for a violence in his household and a different time for an assault on a police officer. Important or no? We are guessing people might not think that marijuana with George Zimmerman was not all that big a deal but they did when it was actually Trayvon Martin and it actually wasn’t so. And we might think that people would make a big, big, big deal if Trayvon Martin had been arrested for assaulting a police officer and violence in his home, but actually that was never the case, what was the case with George Zimmerman who was arrested for domestic violence one time and assaulting a police officer another. You have to ask yourself in this “liberal media” as portrayed on Fox News, is it a big deal that those are facts about George Zimmerman’s background? And again how do you get involved in a self defense situation “standing your ground” if you are pursuing someone after the 911 people tell you not to? Reverse, adverse more to come.

Good "job"news

Good job news is that the economy for a third month did show solid gains and did add over 225,000 jobs. All patriotic Americans are overjoyed, particularly Republicans. Well, not as much. Many suckers had improvements, some didn’t. But again the old joke: The difference between a recession and a depression is in a recession you don’t work; in a depression I don’t work, so unemployment is still very individual and very personal. Mitt Romney pointed out that 25 million people in America were still unemployed or under employed and he only laid off a portion of them. Gas prices are hurting, but in the three years that Obama has been there, the reversal of private job losses has stopped and the growth of government has also been stopped. The biggest shrinkage has been public sector jobs. That’s what Republicans wanted, isn’t it? Well, maybe only if they could take credit. And again, Mitt Romney and Bain are not responsible for the majority of these people still unemployed.

Bit By Bit, Mitt Won’t Support Mitt?

There was a good movie with a great title called “Other People’s Money.” Since the title’s been taken one won't be able to make a movie looking back on the Romney campaign and call it that name. But it is that. Mitt Romney’s actually finally getting tight for money despite having outspent Santorum 4-1 in Ohio and having outraised all other Republican challengers combined. Yet he has yet to contribute a single dime to his own campaign and says basically he doesn’t intend to. He’s basically telling donors and complaining because he has the lowest percentage of the small donors of any the Republican candidates, you contribute, I won’t. Is this another Mitt “I don’t know if I’m rich” moment? But bit by bit, Mitt won’t support Mitt, at least not from his own pocketbook.

Cigarette warnings of smoke and mirrors

There is recent news on the smoking habits of America’s youth and it’s not for the good. Apparently 3800 high school students per day are taking up this odious habit and 80% of those who do so will continue for life. Speaking of life, obviously the fact that it will be both impaired, and shortened, is not enough of a deterrent. And that’s because threats of mortality are immaterial to the young that consider themselves immortal. So, let me have the temerity to suggest that cigarette packages should display a warning that will portent a fate worse than death to the young who are making this decision. It would read as follows; if you use this product as directed you will stink and your looks will suck.!!!!!

Bit by Bit, Mitt Defines Mitt

Mitt Romney has raised a lot of money, or we should say a lot of money has been raised for him by his big donors. Most of them have now reached the legal limit. So then there’s all those many, many, many small donors which fueled Obama in 2008 and also in 2012, which are fueling Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum now. But where are they? They’re not. There’s almost no small donors for Mitt Romney. Now here’s a funny thing about the Mitt Romney donations. Here’s one untapped person who hasn’t given anything to the Romney campaign….Mitt Romney. Oh my gosh, the jockey don’t want to bet on his own horse. Obviously he’s not running Secretariat. Bit by bit, it gets tougher to explain Mitt. !!!!!