FLAG LAPELS PINNED DOWN, WE THINK

Now that both candidates, Obama and McCain are wearing flag lapels (most of the time) it would seem that matter is settled for now. But in some form, or some other race this important non-issue is sure to again be in question so we've got the Faux solution. In patriotism as in so many other inclinations, one size does not fit all, so why have one size on lapels for all. We suggest three sizes starting with a minuscule one, almost too small to see and that one can only be worn by veterans of a foreign war. Senator McCain obviously qualifies and we feel that makes the statement "better to serve the flag than wave the flag." Incidentally, more than one heroic gentleman from the "greatest generation" who served in WWII and Korea personally echoed this sentiment to me. For regular non-political people who want to wear a flag lapel (if there are any regular non-political people so inclined) there should be the very regular sized ones available. For people with only one Vietnam-era deferment, as long as they weren't retroactively a chicken hawk, the standard lapel we suppose is OK too. But where it gets challenging is when you have people with three (i.e. Trent Lott, Rudy G.), four (our prez), five (VP Dick), or up to seven (Mr. Homeland Security himself, John Ashcroft) deferments; what is the proper size flag lapel to symbolize the "extent" of their service? The results of our survey are in and by unanimous dictatorial decree we recommend a super deluxe extra large flag lapel for all with multiple deferments, and front line Vietnam attitudes well after there were any front lines. You see, a large lapel to compensate for a small shall we say...resume.