Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Oracle strips

Talk about a top (and for that matter bottom) line what kind of nights out did the Oracle employees have recently in San Francisco? Well the strip club that they spent their time in got them a major cover charge, to the tune of $33,000 that's what their unpaid tab is according to the lawsuit. Oracle at the present time is taking a hands-off approach to any response, as opposed to.....

Is this a sick joke or what?


The right wing while complaining about class warfare against the sometimes underprivileged hedge fund managers is engaging in some class warfare of their own. First, they feel like poor people will lift themselves out of poverty if they are less nourished and thus they are fighting food stamps on all fronts. Secondly, the house just had its 40th+ vote to defund Obamacare which would leave some 30 million Americans uncovered. But the “sick” joke here is that less than 50% of the American workers receive a single paid sick day. So with less food, no medical attention when ill, and lost wages when they attempt to recover…how can those below the poverty line or the working  poor not succeed? The way to succeed is to heed the words of B list actor and A list tea party spokesman Craig  T. Nelson who said on camera concerning his own unaided rise from poverty to success “when I was on welfare and food stamps who helped me”?


Thursday, September 12, 2013

The blind bleeding the blind?

What could happen if a blind person shot another blind person? You are probably asking what's a blind person doing with a gun. Well in the state of Iowa, due to NRA influence he or she would have it legally, because they have gone to court to say that the Second Amendment is a right and that everyone should have this right to get permits specifically including blind people. So if one blind person winged another it would truly be the blind bleeding the blind. But seriously folks how do we make up crazy right-wing stuff given the reality of their make up?

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

We believe they had skittles


It turns out George Zimmerman is in the news, and involved with police again; as he pulled a gun on his wife, who oh golly, might divorce him, or might not, or who knows. He also punched her father. No charges have been filed as yet, because we have it on good authority that both Mrs. Zimmermann and her dad were in possession of skittles, iced tea and have an extensive collection of hoodies.

The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News