A Post WWII First, No Vets To Vet

For the first time since WWII, neither Presidential candidate has worn our country’s uniform. The reasons vary. In the case of Mitt Romney he got a draft deferment to work as a Mormon missionary, which they often do in hazardous, desolate places, although Mr. Romney’s was in Paris France. Often their conditions are harsh, virtually Spartan. In his case he lived in a palace with a busboy and a cook assigned to him. Nonetheless Barack Obama was challeneged by theMcCain people as the where was he on the Tete offensive and the Democrats incorrectly answered that he was six years old. He was in fact seven. But be that as it may, for the first time since WWII there are no former people in uniform in the Presidential race.

Birthers, Wifers, Weavers

We all know what the "birthers" are, the people like Donald Trump who despite actual birth certificates, nurse witnesses and newspaper announcements, still claim that Barack Obama was not born in Hawaii. The (shall we say) energetic, Bill Maher has taken up a parallel approach on Romney calling himself a “wifer” saying he’s not saying all Mormon’s have many wives. He hopes it isn’t so. But he just questions among other things, “How, if Mitt has one wife, all his children are thirty?” They just of course look that way. But we have a group of our own at Real Fox News. Since Donald Trump is the center of the Birther controversy, we are the "Weavers". We’re not saying what percentage of his hair is real or not, we’re not saying the time that it takes to address it each day, and we’re certainly not suggesting that someone in the crowd impromptu, vs the pie in the face that Bill Gates got some years ago (and that was wrong), try a bucket of water over the top to see what happens. No, we’re just saying that we hear these questions and we certainly hope they’re true, that Mr. Trump and his hair are equally genuine.

When Is The Political Right, Right?

Republicans have given us predictions that unemployment would rise to 9%, it’s now around 8. They said that that consumer confidence would go down, it’s now the highest it’s been since 2007. They said that gas prices would continue to go up and they’re down. When is the Right, ever right? Currently, historically, philosophically, economically? We’d be happy to view such instances. Could they be produced?

One Man, One Women, and No More Than One Generation

Mitt Romney speaking at Liberty University founded by Jerry Falwell, where blacks and whites were not allowed to hold hands; yes, that bastion of tolerance said that marriage must continue to be defined as one man and one woman. But that was a complete sentence and not a complete truth; because the complete truth would have been going back no more than one generation. Because if you go back two generations, Mitt Romney’s grandfather didn’t have just one wife, or two or three or four, no, he had five. Which is, not to judge Mitt Romney on the behavior of his grandfather but as noted conservative religious theorist Ralph Reed said he’s with Mitt Romney because he supports a principle that’s going back 5,00 years. Which brings us to one last thought; we know the Mormon’s are long lived, but did Mitt Romney’s grandfather go back 5,000 years?

WORD OF THE WEEK

This is our word of the week and we don’t have words every week. But it’s where someone knows just enough political facts to make wrong arguments and make them in a reasoned way another version of course was a complete sentence versus a complete truth. This weeks word is "braindangerous".

Gitmo Texas

For three years President Obama tried to get the masterminds of the 9-11 attacks tried in civilian court. They will now be tried in Gitmo as the change in venue received too much resistance. Civilian courts have had a pretty good track record (actually, a perfect record) of putting terror suspects away. We thought of a compromise: If you can’t be in a military court, and if they wont allow a cilvilian court, why not compromise? Try them in Texas.

Jane Has Cancer, Well No

"Jane has cancer and has no health insurance" is the actual title of a website by a lady who put in for a compassionate public to help her with her “breast cancer challenges.” Over $8,000 was raised and she did spend it, well, on her breasts, actually for any augementation as opposed to any health measures. She did have a problem with her breasts as in her own self image and she wanted them larger. She took the money, and she’s under arrest. Bless the people who gave to her so that they don’t feel like boobs. Sorry, couldn’t resist it. But, she does get to keep them. Who says crime doesn’t pay or at least augment.

Let’s Nip This Crap In The Bud

Pine Ridge is one of the largest Native American reservations in the country. Alcohol is forbidden. However the liquor stores in Whiteclay, Nebraska, population 10 (that’s right t-e-n) sells more than 4,000,000 cans of beer and liquor annually as Anheuser-Busch uses that as it’s gateway into the Indian economy where they are not legally allowed to sell. 90% of the arrests by tribal police are alcohol related as are a similar percentage of juveniles. Frankly, if Anheuser Busch would have the capacity for shame they would probably have it, but they don’t. Mockery and money are the only way things get changed in this world and what little we at Real Faux News can do, we recommend agreeing with Nicholas Kristoff in calling for a nationwide boycott against Anheuser-Busch. They can’t feel but they can count.