Tuesday, March 31, 2009

THE LESSON OF IMPATIENT PATIENCE; A GEITHNER BRIGHTENER UPDATE


Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner pointed out that we need to beware of taking steps to fix the economy and then when we see a bit of progress stopping those steps. This can be compared to someone who takes medicine to get cured, and then when he/she feels a bit better they stop taking the medicine. The probable result will be a relapse of the illness. Geithner has agreed with our theory that the key to fixing the economy is “banks a lot” (to get banks lending again), but had correctly pointed out that banks only do about 50% of the lending in this economy and the rest is from secondary market securities and other such entities.

So what we need to do is not just stop with bank fixing but continue the healing process by stabilizing every lending entity in the economy until we are a once again healthy stable patient.


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HEALTH CARE; THE TRUE OBAMA DRAMA?


Many are saying that health care will be for Obama what social security was for FDR, the first true and major challenge that he will have to confront (obviously with a continuous eye on the economy). Our opinion is that you can’t stop a population from getting older so you need to have a government that gets bolder. So while we don’t know (nor do we claim to know) how to solve the health care crisis, we sure hope that the Obama is bold enough to tackle this issue.

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NEW SERIES AT THE FAUX


Faux News Network is announcing the launch of a new series that we will begin covering that we are calling FERA’s. That stands for Facts Even Republicans Admit. We will have constant updates on these facts and we ask all our readers to submit any facts that you have seen admitted by a Republican.

Our first FERA; the liberal (meet the) press myth. We always hear about the liberal press and liberal media not giving conservatives their due time and opinion. Interestingly, the 2 leading appearers on Meet the Press are John McCain (64 appearances) and Bob Dole (63). Both men are clearly well known for their liberal views.

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A BUSH LEGACY; NO BAND AID FOR BRAIN AID


In 2007 the federal AIDS budget was 22.8 billion dollars, Parkinson’s disease research received 250 million and (as was recently released) only 8.5 million was allocated to treat traumatic brain injury. It was also just released that former President Bush had even suggested eliminating the program altogether. This is an often sad subject, but you have to fund a chuckle where you can. Think about it; George Bush proposed ending funding for brain injuries, as conservatives obviously don’t want funding for anything at which they are (or will be) at risk.

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THE JETER FUTURE, A SHORT STOP AT SHORT STOP?


There is much discussion about Derek Jeters’s ability to be the Yankees shortstop for the future as he has been for the past (and at least for now the present). Its hard to say where he will be after his contract is up at the end of the 2010 season, but our guess is that the Yankees will move him to left and put Johnny Damon who has one year left on his contract at shortstop. It’s sad to hear people criticizing Jeter for getting a bit slower as he gets a bit older, I mean think of the alternative to not getting older. We at the Faux still consider Jeter a great player and suffice it to say that with him at short the Yankees are still “well armed”.

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Friday, March 27, 2009




Friday Fauxlosophies


1. Nothing more accurately describes “bittersweet” than taking heroic actions for non heroic causes.

2. For people who complain that Barack Obama is taking on too many problems at once, realize that we learned from his predecessor that the world does not become simple just because the president is.

3. Stretching relaxes you. And when you are relaxed you become less irritable. The families that stretch together don’t kvetch together.

4. It seems that there are many who feel that the lord is to be prayed to but not listened to.

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Thursday, March 26, 2009




From the American scene; the paper chase


Many newspapers throughout the country have gone out of business due to heavy losses. They blame their losses on the rise of the internet and to some extent we agree, but it also has to do with their non coverage of many types of stories that perhaps they should focus on. For example, John Stewart took on Jim Cramer(To watch the debate Click here) and it made front page news; but the story didn’t focus on what the interview was about, only that it had happened. The front page news was “Cable personalities battle” not “financial news network betrays millions of Americans”. As long as the story in the paper is just on others covering the story there will be a great paper chase. We hope they straighten this out and fast.
Another area they can improve (and the NY Times has done this) is to write in great detail stories that can’t be done in 22 minutes cable shows. There is something relevant and traditional about holding a physical newspaper in your hand, we just want the news in it to be just as relevant.

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Our president, w-r-o-n-g


Barack Obama is normally right and correct, but on his plan to make veterans who have private insurance pay for their own injuries he got it w-r-o-n-g. Thankfully, he realized his mistake and retreated from that position (an interesting word given the military background). On the upside General Eric Shinseki, Secretary of Veterans Affairs (who was against Obamas proposal), pointed out that Obama was requesting 113 billion for the department of VA in the 2010 budget, an increase of 16% over this years allotment. This budget includes money to treat veterans of Afghanistan and Iraq and it will be up 15% this year and 61% from 2008. To put any part of their medical expenses on the vets shoulders was his wrong and President Obama knows it. Thank you Mr. Obama for correcting your mistake.

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009




SOME CONSERVATIVE STIMULATION


Over the past 8 years, conservative Republicans have tried to manage both facts and emotions for this country. The Obama election has made the management of facts a bit more difficult (as Stephen Colbert says “stay away from facts…they are known to have a liberal bias”) but the conservatives are showing they still know how to manage our emotions. Its going to be a huge challenge for Democrats not to engage in a “shrill kill” exchange, and let the Republicans howl at the moon. The Dems have to remain focused on the agenda, fix the economy, properly allocate the stimulus package, and (do what government is supposed to do) help the American people. This is going to be a challenge because of the old legal adage “if you have the facts speak calmly and slowly, and if you don’t shriek loudly and quickly” applies much more to politicians than it does to lawyers.

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ONWARD KRUGMAN ONWARD FRIEDMAN



One reason that I tend to view the articles, theories and philosophies of Paul Krugman and Tom Friedman so positively is that they have so accurate at proving what could go wrong with the “opposite theories”. Now, that doesn’t guarantee that their proposals on the economy and the Middle East (respectively) are right, but since they have never been tried we have to presume that they might not necessarily be wrong.

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SUMMERS TIME AND THE GIVING AINT EASY


We hear the phrase constantly being used in sports (the quintessential version being) that’s Manny being Manny”. Sometimes this is used as an excuse, a disclaimer, or an explanation. I think that what economic adviser Larry Summer has been trying to say to the country regarding the recession is that when we bail out the banks what we have to ensure is that “banks just be banks”. That means that we should give them a portion of the bailout money, and not give them more until we see that money has been lent. The giving aint easy, but banks still have to be banks.

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A GEITHNER BRIGHTENER



Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner needs help. By everyone’s admission (the left and right) the treasury department is understaffed and over challenged. So yes, he can be nitpicked and shoved around and he certainly doesn’t have a big booming voice with a presence, but we say that what he really needs is people. There is a major deficit in the treasury and that is personnel.

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Monday, March 23, 2009

THE RACKET OVER THE (FIRST) BRACKET


Many people are upset that President Obama took the time to fill out a basketball bracket for the NCAA games. For those that shoot from the flip (as we do here at the Faux), that typically takes about 15-20 minutes. Those people probably prefer a President who took 77 vacations and only had 47 news conferences. And one of the good things about Obama filling out a bracket is that he will make mistakes and admit them, unlike his predecessor. That’s the beauty of putting yourself out there even for something as trivial as a March madness bracket.
Now just think, if Bush had filled out a bracket (and can never be wrong), they would have had to go back and revise those games and scores lest they be deemed unpatriotic.

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THE BONUSES, MECHANICALLY AND TITANICALLY


An AIG (Aint I Greedy) update; One set of suggestions is to threaten those that don’t give back their bonuses that they will lose their jobs. The problem is that about 1/3 of them have already left their jobs. So you are left with the Titanic question. The Titanic itself may have been full of a bunch of scoundrels and lowlifes, yet saving the Titanic would have meant saving them too. Sometimes you have to save the entire ship even if it means saving those who don’t deserve to be saved, in this case AIG, the big banks and what we should have done with Bear Sterns.

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YANKEES PRESEASON OR PRECURSOR SEASON?



2 of the biggest days in the Yankees season were actually not during the season. The first was March 15th when Jorge Posada took his place behind home plate and the second was March 17th when Mariano Rivera took the mound to pitch. If these two players are on track, the loss of A-Rod should prove to be non-essential, yet if they do well the prognosis stays well.

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The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News