CUT AND RUM DEPARTMENT, UPDATE

This past week, Dick Cheney noted that the departing Don of
Rumsfeld may have been the best Secretary of Defense ever. Now we’re not sure we agree but what should
be recognized are the unique defensive “credentials” of our own VP Dick, who
will no doubt go down in history as the VP most committed to the non-defense of his country given his
epic total of five, count ‘em, five Vietnam era deferments. Puts Bill Clinton’s
pedestrian “one” to shame doesn’t it?

But don’t
go getting too impressed with Dick’s high, or should we say low 5; the American
League record to our knowledge is seven (7).
That’s right, seven (7) deferments from the Vietnam era draft. This unpatriotic coward must be located,
singled out, and duly mocked and who better to help than former Homeland
Security Honcho John Ashcroft. Why,
because he’s got the cunning, the look, the voice, can soar like an eagle and,
well, sees the guy each time he shaves. Yep,
turns out Mr. Ashcroft so loved America,
his homeland, he made sure (as a soldier anyway) never to leave it. You couldn’t make these guys up.