Friday, January 11, 2008

IS THE FAUX A SERIAL PLAGIARIZER?

We just thought of some good names for a breakfast meal: total, cheers, Raisin Bran, oh wait, those have been taken and besides that would make is cereal plagiarizers, not serial ones. And we just may be, BECAUSE we’ve done it again, and this time it’s not just the little old “Advocate’s” ideas we copied before they thought of them, no this time it’s the NY Times. In Thursday, January 10th’s op-ed page, the center article is by Andrew Kohut, President of the PeW Research Center entitled “Getting It Wrong”. This refers, of course, to the new Hampshire primary and why the polls predicting, no declaring, in fact, a victory for Barak Obama over Hillary Clinton were wrong, and by so much. A key reason, Mr. Kohurt concludes is “the long standing pattern of pre-election polls overstating the support for black candidates among white voters, particularly white voters who are poor.” We believe he’s right, and…….we’re caught because we raised that very possibility in a number of previous faux news releases, referencing the 12% defeat of Ron kirk in the 2004 Texas Senate race, when the pre-election polls had him as even. Sorry Mr. Kohut, we promise this time will be the last time we plagiarize in advance……until the next time.

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The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News