Monday, June 22, 2009




SENATOR JOHN ENSIGN (CHIEF OF) STAFF INFECTION


Senator John Ensign (R-Nevada) is a big family values guy, and we will show you just how much value he can get for his family. As recently reported, he has been having a long time affair with the wife of his chief of staff. It turns out that rather than bring the affair out into the open, the chief of staff gave Sen. Ensign permission to keep shagging his wife on condition that this family values Senator keep paying the family values mortgage for their nice size Nevada home.
So now Sen. Ensign officially has joined the hypocrisy hall, together with Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde and several others who criticized Bill Clinton for adultery while…uh adultering.
When the chief of staff finally tired of selling his wife for the monthly mortgage, he sent a letter to FOX news complaining about the Senators behavior, but surprisingly FOX chose to sit on the letter and not publish or report it, anyone know why? Now this chief of staff is also a supposed big family values Christian, as he once said he would never even be found in a car alone with a strange woman, and that leaves us wondering where he would be found.
Finally, during the Clinton scandal, Sen. Ensign publicly called for Clintons impeachment saying that infidelity should force one to resign. Senator, we are waiting…

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MOUSAVI, A MODERATE MARTYR?


People need to remember that (Iranian opposition candidate) Mousavi was also a very fundamentalist, pro Mullah, pro nuclear weapon candidate who has not influenced his followers rather he was created by his followers .He has now publicly accepted martyrdom. This is the problem with right wingers in any country; they can only be made left by even more extreme right wingers.

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Monday, June 1, 2009




CHAD BULLOCK, HE’S SMOKIN’


Chad Bullock is a young man from North Carolina who just turned 20 years old. Amazingly, he just won a prize of $100,000 to work on the project of his choice which is to make the ballpark of the minor league baseball team in Durham, N.C. smoke free. The park as long been a bastion of those inhaling, and the inhaling by others of what the smokers exhaled. Chad’s grandfather was a smoker and died of cancer, and through smart campaigning for this cause so close to his heart Chad won the crown and the gold. The Durham Bulls park is now a smoke free facility, so Chad Bullock is smoking because the people in the park aren’t.

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STILL STUCK WITH STICKY DICK


America stepped in it the day Dick Cheney found himself. What we mean is that he was put in charge of the committee created by the RNC to find Bush’s running mate, and he sifted through, looked in the mirror and said the best man must be himself. Now as it turns out that the White House memos may show that the waterboarding techniques actually didn’t work, Senator Carl Levin of Michigan said that after an investigation into the CIA tactics Dick Cheneys claims about them working is nothing but a bunch of lies. So either Mr. Cheney is truly trying to retake his place in history by lying to vindicate policies of torture, or he is getting some of the Reagan alzheimers and simply forgetting the truth. Either way, we can seem to shake of the stickyness of Dick.

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FAUXLOSOPHY


We must lead by example; you cant run a weight watchers class while munching on a doughnut.

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FAUX NEWS PHILMOLOGY



We will be listing in no particular order our 10 favorite films and we will write why. We will talk about the message, the best verbal moment, and the best non-verbal moment. The 10 films are;
To kill a mocking bird
Animal house
High noon
A Bronx tale
Charlie Wilson’s War
Sleeper
Hombre
Schindler’s list
Harold and Maude
Shawshank redemption

Today’s review; To kill a mocking bird – the best verbal moment is Gregory Peck saying “thank you for my son”. The best non-verbal moment is Scout’s snarl at dinner when being told to eat her food. The message? If you have to ask you probably think Barack Obama barely won the last election and you are not sure he’s your President. More coming soon…

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RUSH TO GRUDGEMENT; UPDATE


The way Rush Limbaugh is going after Sonia Sotomayor, attacking her with every smear label possible, we are sure it wont be long before he links her to the ACLU. And as we know only certain people seek help from the ACLU, such as communists, cowards, traitors, and oh yes at the time of his drug bust Rush Limbaugh.

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The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News