Tuesday, November 24, 2009




FAHRENHEIT 480



No developed country on earth has a private insurance industry that is so profit driven and so high priced that it eats up such a huge percentage of every dollar that Americans earn. In the last 8 years they have ad a 480% profit, and 20% of their workforce is devoted to denying claims. Its as if 20% of the police or fire departments were devoted to stop the call answering of the other 80%. Why is this sustainable? Well, lets just say for starters they donate heavily to political campaign, and mainly to Republicans. Not to say that other parties are free from their own glitch, as we know that "independent" Joe Lieberman's wife is on the payroll of the insurance industry. For 70 years there has been no major health reform, and the Republicans now claim that they have their own bill with better options (under the "fair as they gotta be" doctrine). We ask, what stopped them from putting together this bill when they had a Republican President, house, and Senate? We answer, its because of the Republican donors, and its burning up the economy!

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A JOE LIEBERMAN WAKE UP??


Yesterday on Meet the Press, Joe Lieberman (I-CT) may have lost some cred for the anti-insomniac Jo-Do's, which of course is a recording of his voice. He said he would not vote for a health care bill that would raise the deficit. To his credit David Gregory responded by asking Joe if he would vote for the Afghanistan troop increase which is unfunded, and Joe has voted for them throughout the Bush years even though they were never funded. Joe candidly admitted that until Bush we had never gone to war without having a plan to fund it, Joe acknowledged that because of the wars we are in the economic hardships that we currently face. This admission is a wake up by Sen. Lieberman, and while we still endorse Joe as a cure for insomnia, his words yesterday actually had a waking up effect.

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HEARD FROM 'DELAY KAY'


Senator Kay Hutchinson (R-TX) has tried to explain away Sen. Dick Durban's assertion that the Republicans have slowed down the debate on the health care reform bill. She said "we just saw the bill Thursday". Obviously. And you never knew what was in it, and you never knew that a health care bill was even coming, huh? Where were the clues Kay? It was in all the papers! We may hear more and more from good 'ole delay Kay.

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Friday, November 20, 2009




HIGH THUNDER AND A CLEAR SKY


Nellis air force base in Nevada is the home for the air force Thunderbirds. Their home show is on veterans day which was last week, and the show has to be seen and heard to be believed. Flying well past the speed of sound and oblivious to the laws of gravity, these pilots and their planes are as impressive a group of performers one could imagine. Its literally like one of these science fiction movies, except its lots of science and no fiction. Their spins, loops, dives, and changes of pace...if the G-force doesn't take their breath away, it takes ours away as we watch. We had the privilege of sitting with the family section, so we had a good of a lot of the maneuvers close up. The show consists of planes from different eras (Korea, Vietnam and current) flying together, but the show of shows is "high thunder" in a clear sky. Its worth seeing if you are touring that part of the country. Lastly, not that we ever want these folks in combat, but if they ever have to be, these are the guys and planes we want on our side.

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LINING UP WITH THE REST


For years the NY Times and the Washington Post have been known for their condemnation of gambling and refusal to put betting lines as part of their sports stories. Yet recently, the lines, the bets, the over/under etc. has become part of the heart of American sports viewing. Last Sunday, the NY Times sports section reported the NFL wins and losses, each game analysis and for the first time in recent memory the betting lines. We at the Faux congratulate the NY Times for finally "lining" up with the rest.

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FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY


Watching "This week" we noticed a new contradiction in terms to add to our list; A well known covert operation...enjoy!

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Monday, November 9, 2009




WHAT HELPS THE ARMY HELPS THE COUNTRY


Lt. General George Casey has it right on this weeks talk show circuit. He said that "what helps the army helps the country". Integration in the army helped the country on many levels including the returning blacks to the south, which helped remove the last vestiges of slavery (which believe it or not existed in various ways up until world war 2). What helps the armed forces helps the forces for good in this nation.

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FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY


What do you think about this quote "Medicare is socialized medicine, soon doctors will be told where they can move and soon they will tell your son where he can work". What kind of radical, fringe and historically wrong politician would come up with this? Well that was Ronald Reagan in 1961. When do they ever get it right? So many people from the left and right agree that once the health care bill gets passed it will become sacred and appreciated. It will become untouchable just like Medicare. The same Medicare the Republicans tried to defeat in the 1960's.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009




PLAGIARIZING IN ADVANCE; UPDATE


As you in Fauxnation know, over the years we have successfully plagiarized the work of others, and we feel its even a greater compliment to them when we do it in advance. Here we go again; A cartoon in the NY Times week in review written by Mike Peters (Dayton Daily News) shows a scene in a school where early schoolers are being taught to use the verb "sacks" (as in looting and pillaging) in a sentence. The kids response? Goldman Sachs. Now, several times over the last year we have been calling them "Goldman Sachs and Blunders" so we extend to Mr. Peters an apology as we do to all those to whom we have committed this crime (including but not limited to Maureen Dowd, Cynthia Tucker, David Brooks and Thomas Friedman).

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THE VIRTUAL CONSCIENCE



Liz Cheney (Dicks daughter) recently complained about President Obama honoring the fallen soldiers by meeting their arrival at the air force base (this week 18 of then arrived). While there were cameras there, it was only after the President did a number of things that his predecessor never did. First, he checked with the soldiers families to find out what they wanted. Second, he chose to honor them as opposed to W whose respect was only virtual, never actual.

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IF HE HAD BEEN A TWEETER, WOULD HE HAVE BEEN SWEETER?


Look at the messages that people tweet, the broken grammar, the partial sentence...it's a phenomenon which has really grown over the past year. But think about it; if twitter had arrived 6, 7 or 8 years earlier, George W. Bush would have seemed articulate and "with it". Verbally, if he had been a tweeter, he would have come across as that much sweeter!

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The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News