A BLUE MOOD ON BARACK OBAMA’S PROSPECTS

Barack Obama is on vacation. And sure enough there’s a natural disaster – hurricane Irene – set to hit states on the east coast, all but two (Florida and S. Carolina) of which were blue states in the last election. Additionally, Washington had its first earthquake in 113 years this week. So with all the blue states about to be hit by a hurricane, one must ask themselves if a Republican president would not have been able to prevent this disaster from hitting the red states. Besides for the drout in the Midwest, the tornadoes in Texas, the raging forest fires in Arizona, oh never mind…lets return to blue mood Barack Obama, because the beauty of having a Democratic president instead of a Republican is that you can blame them for natural disasters. Mr. Obama, where is your leadership? Why cant you push Irene out to sea? You are supposedly in much better shape than John McCain was! Postscript; this will be our 10th(!) disaster of a billion dollars or more this year weatherwise. This could mean the lord is starting to show disapproval of this president, no? But wait, he was president for 2 years with no disasters, so maybe he actually doesn’t like the tea party and is showing what he thinks of their economics by letting heaven trickle down on us…

TREASONOUS JEW-BOY BRINGS MUCH STOCK JOY

Ben Bernanke, the “treasonous” chairman of the federal reserve, is at it again helping the American economy. By his pledging to help the markets regain momentum, we may actually have our first plus week in over a month. As we know, Gov. Rick Perry has recently claimed that the Ben Bernanke’s economic policies were “treasonous”. For the record, the punishment for treason is death, we think that might be a but harsh for a disagreement over fiscal policy. Nonetheless, Mr. Bernankes moves today were widely applauded, it helped the stock rally, helped many 401k’s, and definitely produced some all-around good. Lets remind Rick Perry that Mr. Bernanke has never been a secessionist.

HECK OF A JOB CLOWNIE

Such masters of human compassion as Eric Cantor and Dick Cheney and Rand Paul are complaining about the amount of money FEMA is spending to deal with the human and financial toll of hurricane Irene. Irene has been called one of the 10 greatest disasters in American history, and remarkably the preparedness of FEMA and the other government agencies have kept the death toll to a minimum. It’s a tragedy that anyone was lost, but consider Katrina, where we just stood by and let it happen. There were way too many deaths in New Orleans, a great city was destroyed, and well over 100,000 people were displaced, many of them permanently. Well, you can disregard Katrina if you are Michael Brown of “heck of a job, Brownie” fame (or as we call it “heck of a job, clownie), as he is one of those condemning the government for overreacting to Irene. Messrs. Paul, Cantor, Cheney and Brown are creatures of nature, so in that sense they are natural disasters. Heck of a job clownies!

TAKING STOCK ON THE TEABAGGERS

The stock market had its first up week in months this week and now it’s at the highest level since before the major drop in August, and it’s still having good days. Perhaps it’s because the teabaggers are out of Washington, when they return we have no doubt the market will go down. So when taking stock in the teabaggers, remember that their greatest asset is their absence.