Friday, January 30, 2015

POPE PAUL OR FREE WILLIE?

People are endlessly fascinated by the current Pope and more so by his recent remarks to the National Catholic Reporter namely that people need not reproduce "like rabbits". He maintained his opposition to the use of contraception but said that there are many "licit" ways of regulating birth. Still this goes too far for some, particularly William Donohue of the Catholic League, which incidentally has no official relationship with the Catholic church. Mr. Donohue is quite upset, and suggests the Pope  clear future press releases with him, so let's just see who's in charge...Pope Paul or "Free Willie"...cause he is certainly free with his opinions.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

NRA update


The No Reason Allowed group has done it again and this time they've taken an even more cutting edge approach to get new membership. Now they're giving out free knives when someone joins up, that's good shoot 'em and then stab 'em. Kudos to Charlotte T. from Pennsylvania who suggests they give out gift certificates to funeral homes; hey a discount is a discount and a coupon is a coupon.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The top 1%


Surveys show that without a doubt by next year the top 1% of the world will have 50% of the wealth; two things then to keep in mind. 1. 60% of the conservative voters think they are in the top 1%. 2. They're at a loss to explain why there has been a great decline in their children's math scores.

Honoring MLK?

This is the actual speech from the women's coach the Tennessee basketball game right before they were to play Notre Dame on the evening of MLK day. "Today we are going to honor Martin Luther King, what are we going to do"? They answered: "Dominate!" The question is asked and answered again three times, each time louder. Then she concludes with the following  "Let's go fight!!" The Reverend King would have been so proud.

The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News