Thursday, June 16, 2016

True genius


The combined genius of the Republican party and the NRA has suddenly become apparent during the latest gun debate. This fact is backed up by law enforcement agencies: unless you're a trained professional, guns in your house are more likely to be used against you as opposed to effectively defend you. Since it's obvious by Mr Trump's remarks the emnity he feels for Muslims in general by letting the most dangerous ones in, anyone who is or has ever been on terrorist watchlist they are way more likely to shoot themselves.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Trump's economic plans aren't racist


There is less, in fact much less, racism in Donald trumps economic plans than people may think. He's going to f**k up the lives and finances of middle and lower income folks of ALL races and creeds. An equal opportunity destroyer.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

What President Trump Should do


Here's what we should hope a Donald Trump presidency would accomplish:
1) Unemployment would be cut in half
2) The number of uninsured Americans would be cut in half
3) As a result of this plus more information and more contraceptives available, teen pregnancies would hit historical lows
4) The Dow Jones would be up by over 250%
5)The annual federal budget deficit would be cut by 70%
6) Inflation would be at a historic low
7) Our domestic auto industry would be booming
8) Clean energy to America would be doubled
9) Two thirds of the Taliban and Isis high command would be killed
10) And when President Trump says don't you wish Obama had done this, some honest reporter, who knows - maybe even someone from FOX News - will say WAIT....that's exactly what he did do.

The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News