TRICK OR TREAT: REPUBLICANS CLOUDING THE VOTE

Halloween stuff is overflowing on the retail shelves and that Republican spirit of trick or treat as to voter's rights is also on the scene. This fog of denial that resulted in the ballots of so many American citizens not being counted was a clear and present danger in the 2000 Florida recount, and more than likely was as well in the 2004 Ohio Presidential tally. Remember that, were the electronic voting machines of Diebold (whose CEO just happened to be George Bush's leading fundraiser in Ohio) were programmed to have no paper back up? Note, the current governor has mandated Ohio machines have paper back up this time, which has upset many Republicans (why would such a patriotic group react this way?), but the phrase "Republican voting machines" will always engender laughter among the well-informed. So now in 2008, what are, may we say it again, these honest patriotic Republicans to do to make sure just the "right" people vote? Well how about this; in the state of Virginia the local registrar incorrectly suggested to students being registered by the Obama campaign that there would be "dire possibilities" for such students who registered to vote at Virginia Tech rather than in their home towns. In not one but two such releases of misinformation the local authorities said that their registration (in the hotly contested state of Virginia) might cause loss of scholarships or health care. A classy bunch, huh? Of course once this attempt at voter intimidation was challenged by civil rights lawyers, the county registrar immediately scaled back the threats and nonsense, for now. As soon as they can think of another avenue to steal or impede the electoral process, especially among minorities, the elderly and the young, the Republican right will no doubt deny or at least attempt to deny their rights. At least, dear readers, you feel you can be thankful that there's not Pat Buchanan running in this year's Florida ballot...well kinda sorta. That’s because one of Pat Buchanan's best and most active boosters and fundraisers over the years, and these are his own words and thoughts, is one Sarah Palin, who is running in every state and will put the Pat Buchanan philosophy demographically closer to the presidency than it's ever been. So vote you young people, vote and remember you can win this thing, but they will never let you win a close one.

IS IT IMPORTANT AND IS IT KOSHER ALL THIS TALK ABOUT PIGS?

Barack Obama made a remark about a pig being the same with or without lipstick (a bit of logic which actually does bring home the bacon, sorry) and that, is something that the media, at least those on AM radio assure us, is important. That the McCain campaign is committed to either ignore or work against legislation which guarantees equal pay for equal work for women, is unimportant. The Republican "defense" of Sarah Palin is important, but their zero rating by Planned Parenthood, to which a quarter of all American women will turn to in their lifetime is unimportant. That the Democrats may have inadvertently insulted women is important, but that Senator McCain (he is the Republican candidate after all) has used the word c*nt, and trollope in public to describe women, well we should say a particular woman is unimportant. Well...the woman, the particular woman he was describing was Cindy McCain, which down the road if she has a good prenup (and we at the Faux are betting she does) may prove to be really, really important, to John McCain anyway. Oh, under the topic of facts being okay there were 2 other politicians who in 2004 and 2007 used the pig and lipstick expression on a public forum; that would be Dick Cheney and John McCain, and emulating the Bush/Cheney team. And that folks, you know in your heart is important.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

In their search for "divine" facts many miss the most earthly of truths, that in what Americans fear, want and need, we are so remarkably alike.

JOHN MCCAIN ON THE WAY TO A 30% APPROVAL RATING

Now begins the post-convention the post convention season featuring the purest concentration of political promises and rhetoric as the candidates hit the trail. One of the more fascinating boasts is owned by John McCain who claimed on Meet the Press that he could easily find 30% to take off the federal budget. But this it turns out might actually be a committment that the senator can keep, really. Some background is in order, specifically the case of Lily Ledbetter, a lady who worked for decades at Goodyear in Alabama as a supervisor and who discovered after her retirement that she'd been paid substantially less than all her male co-workers while doing the exact same job, despite her many superior reviews. Ms. Ledbetter's case was thrown out however because a local judge ruled she would have had to have filed her complaint whithin 30 days of Goodyear's first such transgression, i.e. she would have had to somehow know everyone else's exact salary at Goodyear within her first 30 days on the job. Fauxvians, do not try this at home or in your own workplace. So then after Ms. Ledbetter got no relief from her local court system many in Congress have picked up the gauntlet to pass a law in her name and on behalf of all women so shortchanged. Interestingly, John McCain has said he'd be against such an anti-discrimination initiative. Why, now please read this carefully, because if women were given the right to sue for being unfairly economically victimized, then they...would sue if they were being unfairly economically victimized. But therein is the genius of John McCain's budget-balancing plan, and it started with his nominating Sarah Palin as his vice presidential candidate. You see he'll continue to employ women in the government including all cainet staff advisory research, and even maintenance positions, and then...pay them all 30% less than a man would get for the exact same job. Apply such logic to any other government agency, and we'll have an all-woman work force and all since it will be in sync with Mr. McCain's "rescuing" women from the burden of having to sue at 30% less; budget saved, promise kept, and for the women who used to be paid the same as men for government work, the 30% change in their income will indeed be the McCain change they can believe in.

MCCAIN-PALIN FAUX FRIEND TO WOMEN MOMENT

Each week we're going to bring you an example of the advantage for women when John McCain and Sarah Palin take over the White House. We're calling it our McCain-Palin Faux Friend to Women Moment. The following is for informational purposes only and does not reflect the view of the Faux.

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father."
The source: Senator John McCain -- Faux friend to women.

JUST WHO IS BETTER OFF UNDER REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTS?

There are many, it turns out, who are indeed better off financially when we have Republican presidents and we've got some relevant data on the subject. Now such information is only as good as its source, but we'll explain. A recent and very comprehensive summary was compiled in an article authored by Alan S. Blinder in his New York Times column "Economic View." In the spirit of honest disclosure Mr. Binder has been a Vice Chairman of the Federal Reserve and advised a number of Democratic presidents but as we like to say at the Faux, facts are fun, so here are some. From 1948 to 2007, there have been 26 years of Democratic presidents and 32 years of Republican ones. The chart to the left starts with the lowest income group, the 20th percentile and goes up on through the top 5% and states (adjusted for inflation) the yearly average income of these citizens. Mr. Blinder entitled the chart we're replicating "Family Income Growth."

Wow, even the top 5% commanded more income when we had a Democratic Commander-in-Chief; and the only thing that really grew under Republican rule was the differences in income. Our United States is quite an economy and fifty-eight years is quite a sample, and while Republicans will try and spin this, it will serve us all if they remember the words of their idol Ronald Regan about "the stubbornness of facts."

We at the Faux wish to give a shout out and thanks to Joanna M. of Woodbridge for alerting us to "The Economic View," and thanks also to that crazy left-wing blog which provided compiler Larry M. Bartels with his data. Oh, the blog's name? It's the U.S. Census Bureau, heard of them? So then just "who is better off under Republican Presidents?" It would not be fair to say that it's only Republican presidents; it's their vice presidents, donors, and their families. Ask yourselves if you're in that club.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

One of the truly saddest things about prejudice is that victims so often become imitators.

We need adaptable leaders because our future has this in common with our past: if we don't get it, it will surely get us.

FROM FULL DISCLOSURE TO RUMOR EXPOSURE

First, let's talk about the Democrats and VP nominee Joe Biden. While we've talked of Dick Cheney's many deferments from military service which seem all the more noteworthy since he seems so proud of them, fairness dictates that we mention Mr. Biden's exemptions as well. His count is five including a series of "2-S's" which all college undergraduates received in that era, before by the hundreds of thousands they graduated and were drafted. Joe Biden also had a "I-Y;" that deferment is medical, the result of an asthma condition which persisted over the years and which the medical review board felt disqualified him from the draft. Mr. Cheney, it should be noted, had no such physical challenges (his heart ailments came much later in life) but instead through multiple undergraduate transfers, a well timed marriage as the exemption rules changed, and the most timely family planning in deferment history avoided serving in a war he politically favored. A note is in order of medical exams: a college friend from a very well-to-do family confided that it took him a "fair number" of visits to the doctor before he finally got the diagnosis which partially exempted him. Did I mention that this very rich person was also very conservative? None the less Mr. Biden did get his I-Y status but given his family's modest means and his own resume of laborious jobs it seems to be what it is. Oh, Joe Biden's son is about to start his second tour in Iraq.

Now to the Republicans, the saga of Sarah, as in Sarah Palin, she has been mentioned in blog and rumor, including that she was an active member in a secessionist party advocating that Alaska secede from the United States, but a check of records by the New York Times finds no confirmation of this. Gee, we haven't had to deal with that kind of idea since the Civil War, which would have made for some good northern disclosure fun, but it's just not so.

What is confirmed, and this is no rumor, are the attitudes and opinions of a long time Palin advocate, Mr. Pat Buchanan, as to Israel in particular and Jews in general. He doesn't like them, and according to the highly respected ADL "publicly espouses racist, anti-Semitic, anti-Israel and anti-immigrant views," and...he's even got his own page on the AOL website. One of his choice items is from 1990 where he intones "Capitol Hill is Israeli occupied territory." A shout out to right wing Jews who don't consider this guy and his supporters dangerous, your membership in "Capos-R-Us" is paid up. That noted, if you tolerate Pat Buchanan then you've got to embrace the "maverick" Sarah Palin who's been a key supporter of Buchanan, including his 1988 run for president. In fact, Buchanan brags about what an enthusiastic operative Palin was on his behalf, calling her one of his best "brigadier fundraisers" and complemented her as a "rebel reformer." She organized rallies, raised funds, and no doubt fully embraced him politically and ideologically; wonder how the Republican "fool them Jews" committee will spin that?

GIVE ME YOUR LEFT, GIVE ME YOUR LEFT

While the above is the cadence given to soldiers marching, the left has been a fortunately dominant theme in the lives of some pretty significant leaders. Put another way, what do Caesar, Napoleon, da Vinci, Michelangelo and Einstein have in common? Answer: they were left-handed. As to what former presidents Harry Truman, Gerald Ford, Ronald Regan, George Bush Sr., and Bill Clinton have in common, you've probably guessed the answer's the same. According to those expert in probability, the chances of this many presidents of the last 11 being left-handed, given that roughly one in ten people are lefties, is almost a thousand to one. We'll tell you what is pretty certain -- and that is that the lefty improbability will continue as Barack Obama is a lefty...and so is John McCain.

USING NORTHERN EXPOSURE TO DRIVE THE BUDGET DEFICIT SOUTH

John McCain has on more than one occasion on national forums such as “Meet The Press” complained that he could easily save 30% off the current federal budget. Many doubted that, but I must concede he’s off to a fiscally responsible beginning with his nomination of Alaskan Governor Sara Palin for Vice President. Given Mr. McCain’s track record against guaranteeing a woman’s right to equal pay for equal work, his stance on the Lily Ledbetter matter being just the latest such example its easy to see where he will begin his budget “savings”. He’ll pay Vice President Palin 30% less than he would a man and along these lines he might well appoint an all woman cabinet.

THE DEMOCRATS BOUNCE INTO DENVER, CONVENTIONAL WISDOM?

To pounce on the bounce, that indeed is the convention challenge for both parties, as in what happens in the polls after each convention. Right now it's Obama 49% and McCain 43%,, what will next week bring?

Will the choice of Joe Biden as VP bring up Obama's ratings, and how will it play with Hillary Clinton's supporters? Planned Republican keynote speaker Rudy Guiliani; when asked by George Stephonopoulos "presumably you know how many homes you have" (by the way he didn't answer) insisted John McCain resonates with the average American. At least, with the average American who doesn't know how many homes he or she has. An additional irony, Rudy Guiliani is concerned that the Democrats will make that a focus of their "attack ads"-- and on that Rudy is some authority. Also of interest is that during his entire interview he did not say "9/11" even once.

The bounce from each convention, we'll see, what is of interest. In closing what Mark Halpern of ABC news said this past weekend, "No one is saying Joe Biden is not ready to be President," and added that included all the Republicans who've weighed in with criticism.

We believe it will be the Biden bounce. Smart man, smart pick.

THE CONCERNS OF HER ENEMIES

There are a lot of people "concerned" about Hillary Clinton (and her voters?) these days. The McCain campaign certainly is, just look at their ads -- and Rudy Guiliani can't help singing her praises as he gets ready to make the Republican keynote speech in Minneapolis, although since Joe Biden became the Democratic UP nominee interest in the "under/over" on how many times Rudy will use the phrase "9/11" has been muted. Lest we forget when Mr. Biden is brief he's chief, a case in point being his quip during the primaries that every sentence spoken by Rudy Guiliani contains three things: "a noun; a verb and 9/11."

But, back to Hillary and all those right-wing Republicans who just can't rest easy because they're too concerned that she's being "disrespected." Come on, that's about like some heads of the KKK getting upset if Barack Obama had been denied his rightful nomination. These people tried to cut Hillary's heart out for over a decade between Bill Clinton's challenges, and theirs was the idea that she would have been a front running and eventual party nominee. And if that stuff weren't enough, the right wing talk show circuit attack dogs made her daughter Chelsea the object of some viscious humor to put it quite mildly.

So here then is what we'd like to see Hillary open with at the Democratic Convention: "These people are as sincere in their concern for me as they are for you middle America." Don't believe it sisters check McCain's record on women's rights, and his "supreme" plan for the courts where it's your choice ladies, for now.

ON THE REALLY MCCOY MCCAIN, NOT EVEN A RAY OF HOPE

Ray Coadd, I call him the death ray, is at it again-defending "McSame" as anything other than Bush III is like confusing Shiites and Sunnis. Oh wait, your candidate keeps doing that. And has he ever changed from his "I don't know much about the economy" stance, because that may be the only change he hasn't made. Arghh, he makes Mitt Romney look like Mr. Consistency. Sure Senator McCain was a hero as a POW but that didn't stop Ray S.T. Coadd (two middle initials?) from going after every Democrat Vietnam Vet who ran against the chicken hawks Bush and Cheney. Hopefully, Ray, you read Norman's "Flag Lapel" article because you no doubt wear the super size. That's the problem with you right wing low-life apologists, you make everything personal, while the Democrats, my Democrats think they can win with a man who thinks running a civil respectful campaign is ever, ever what the Republicans planned. Again, arghh.

Confrontingly Submitted Charles A. Sandras

P.S. Hope some Democrat in the debates, be it Obama or his VP choice, points out to (or regarding) Mr. McCain that in 2000 we all knew John McCain, and this current version is no John McCain.

HOUSE RULES

So just how many houses do the McCains have? The first mention we recall concerning this plurality of places was in the "comic" strip Doonesbury, that's how we put the number at "eight." Several op-ed columnists have since maintained the count was "nine," while the ad put forth by the Obama campaign played it conservatively, talking about some "seven" homes owned by the ultra-rich (but not elite, correct?) couple. When asked that very question during an interview with www.politico.com Mr. McCain answered this way: "I think-I'll have my staff get to you...mostly condominiums...I'll have to get back to you." Their (the homes') worth is estimated at over thirteen million dollars, so they're probably not shacks. But think of it this way gang. They can alternate residences with a different one for every day of the week. Change (in venues) they do believe in.

THE BROOKS OF BABBLE-ON

David Brooks is in his own way "streaming" again. Lest we forget, Mr. Brooks was briefly for Al Gore, before he endorsed his Republican opponent as more fiscally responsible among other things. George W. Bush more responsible? Anyway in 2004 he was impressed by the "veteran" presence at the Democratic Convention and was for Mr. Kerry before he was against him, but then even by Swift boat standards the Brooks flowed in another direction rather quickly. In fact one of his primary reasons for switching (within 24 hours) on Mr. Kerry was that he flip-flopped...OK.

This past year Mr. Brooks was favorably impressed by Senator Obama (briefly, of course), leaned a bit towards Senator Clinton but is now for Senator McCain. Are you folks surprised yet?

With that as background we need to appreciate (and read) quickly Mr. Brooks' glowing end assessment of Joe Biden for Barack Obama's possible VP choice. We at the Faux can't argue with a simple reason given for extolling Mr. Biden's word and capability and predict it will take David Brooks at least several days to reverse himself should Senator Biden actually be the Democratic VP nominee. Oh, rumor has it that Fox News has signed up Joe Lieberman as their senior core loyalty reversal expert. Joe, Dave-you should study together.

BROOKS BABBLE UPDATE

Due to Shabbos, our prediction on Joe Biden was published after the Obama campaign announced it. We're glad on all levels, smart choice, smart man.