Friday Fauxlosophy

In reference to Mitt Romney tax returns: Every dollar he doesn’t pay, is one the American people have to.

Mitt Romney, Bain’s “Sole” Man

The Bain Capital SCC Filing says as follows: “Mr. W. Mitt Romney is the sole shareholder, sole director, chief executive officer and President of Bain Capital and thus is the controlling person of Bain Capital.” Yet he says he had nothing to do with it in those years when he signed their filings. Maybe he was just helping by inspiration. Maybe he wasn’t the sole man, maybe he was their soul man. Or maybe he’s being just plain disingenuous.

Mitt, Your Calendar Doesn’t Fit

Mitt Romney had a fundraiser planned for Jerusalem, obviously to attract Jewish folks. It’s to be a $50,000 per plate affair so we assume the food will be at least pretty decent, possibly even kosher. But, what Mitt’s people didn’t do, as have the Evangelicals in the past (so Mormon’s and Evangelicals may be more alike that we think), is to actually look at a calendar. That day, which is actually the 9th of Av is a solemn fast day in the Jewish calendar. It is done to commemorate the destruction of both temples. Apparently, this was no oversight. The Romney people knew it was a day of fasting, and therefor only wanted it to be "small" event. Huh? As going back years when the Evangelicals supporting Robert Dole had a planned Yom Kippur lunch for American Rabbis, which didn’t have high attendance, once again, these folks that love Jews so much and respect Jews so much don’t seem to be terribly aware of the Jewish calendar when they plan so much. So Mitt, your calendar did not fit.

BRING BACK THE TRUTH IN POLITICS, BY GEORGE!

It is undisputed that we live in a polarized political age. This unfortunate dynamic just might be improved if we had increased transparency, because what one knows they are less likely to fear. However, no candidate in anyone’s memory has been less transparent, particularly regarding his very complicated personal finances, than has Gov. Mitt Romney. And while the facts must be known to be judged, it’s hard to envision multimillion dollar bank accounts in Switzerland and the Cayman Islands helping to create US jobs. Romney’s approach stands in stark contrast to that of his father, Gov. George Romney, a wealthy and successful man in his own right, who released 12 years of tax returns when he ran for president. The American voting public should demand loudly and repeatedly; that Mitt Romney bring back the truth in politics, by George. He would then be honoring the memory of his father and respecting the intelligence of the American voter.

Fast And Furious Has A Past That’s Curious

We’ve all heard of Fast and Furious, the program by which our government agency sold guns to Mexican drug lords for purposes of tracing where they were, where they went, which somehow got lost in the condemnation of the President who is, as we shall see, not the initiator. Attorney General Eric Holder won’t release these documents which he said would endanger agent lives. We find it was started in ’06 by George W. Bush. Interesting. Not sure what will come out of this, but Fast and Furious does have a past that’s curious.

CAMPIAGN ADS

Mr. Romney likes to bet $10,000 at a clip. I’ll bet him the American people’s trust. I’ll bet him he can’t do what I’m doing and make no pledges to any outside interests just to work for their jobs. No pledges to people who are financed by billionaires who are going to give me tax policy. Pledge to give every one of my income tax returns. Again transparency. And a pledge to say honestly what I have to gain or lose, by the Bush tax cuts being extended or not. I will tell you what I personally have at stake so you will know I’m involved with what you personally need to have happen. That’s my pledge.

Disney Ain’t Dizzy

The Walt Disney Company acted in a very straight forward, non-dizzy manner and this is not junk talk, they’re taking their junk food ads off the Disney Channel. Wowwy. Less junk food ads means less junk food consumed which mean less obese children. The next thing people are going to tell me is that cigarette ads started forty years ago really worked. Well, they did if you believe 19% of the population not smoking signifcantly less than the 40% then. Again, Walt Diney, well balanced, not dizzy.

A Post WWII First, No Vets To Vet

For the first time since WWII, neither Presidential candidate has worn our country’s uniform. The reasons vary. In the case of Mitt Romney he got a draft deferment to work as a Mormon missionary, which they often do in hazardous, desolate places, although Mr. Romney’s was in Paris France. Often their conditions are harsh, virtually Spartan. In his case he lived in a palace with a busboy and a cook assigned to him. Nonetheless Barack Obama was challeneged by theMcCain people as the where was he on the Tete offensive and the Democrats incorrectly answered that he was six years old. He was in fact seven. But be that as it may, for the first time since WWII there are no former people in uniform in the Presidential race.

Birthers, Wifers, Weavers

We all know what the "birthers" are, the people like Donald Trump who despite actual birth certificates, nurse witnesses and newspaper announcements, still claim that Barack Obama was not born in Hawaii. The (shall we say) energetic, Bill Maher has taken up a parallel approach on Romney calling himself a “wifer” saying he’s not saying all Mormon’s have many wives. He hopes it isn’t so. But he just questions among other things, “How, if Mitt has one wife, all his children are thirty?” They just of course look that way. But we have a group of our own at Real Fox News. Since Donald Trump is the center of the Birther controversy, we are the "Weavers". We’re not saying what percentage of his hair is real or not, we’re not saying the time that it takes to address it each day, and we’re certainly not suggesting that someone in the crowd impromptu, vs the pie in the face that Bill Gates got some years ago (and that was wrong), try a bucket of water over the top to see what happens. No, we’re just saying that we hear these questions and we certainly hope they’re true, that Mr. Trump and his hair are equally genuine.

When Is The Political Right, Right?

Republicans have given us predictions that unemployment would rise to 9%, it’s now around 8. They said that that consumer confidence would go down, it’s now the highest it’s been since 2007. They said that gas prices would continue to go up and they’re down. When is the Right, ever right? Currently, historically, philosophically, economically? We’d be happy to view such instances. Could they be produced?

One Man, One Women, and No More Than One Generation

Mitt Romney speaking at Liberty University founded by Jerry Falwell, where blacks and whites were not allowed to hold hands; yes, that bastion of tolerance said that marriage must continue to be defined as one man and one woman. But that was a complete sentence and not a complete truth; because the complete truth would have been going back no more than one generation. Because if you go back two generations, Mitt Romney’s grandfather didn’t have just one wife, or two or three or four, no, he had five. Which is, not to judge Mitt Romney on the behavior of his grandfather but as noted conservative religious theorist Ralph Reed said he’s with Mitt Romney because he supports a principle that’s going back 5,00 years. Which brings us to one last thought; we know the Mormon’s are long lived, but did Mitt Romney’s grandfather go back 5,000 years?

WORD OF THE WEEK

This is our word of the week and we don’t have words every week. But it’s where someone knows just enough political facts to make wrong arguments and make them in a reasoned way another version of course was a complete sentence versus a complete truth. This weeks word is "braindangerous".

Gitmo Texas

For three years President Obama tried to get the masterminds of the 9-11 attacks tried in civilian court. They will now be tried in Gitmo as the change in venue received too much resistance. Civilian courts have had a pretty good track record (actually, a perfect record) of putting terror suspects away. We thought of a compromise: If you can’t be in a military court, and if they wont allow a cilvilian court, why not compromise? Try them in Texas.

Jane Has Cancer, Well No

"Jane has cancer and has no health insurance" is the actual title of a website by a lady who put in for a compassionate public to help her with her “breast cancer challenges.” Over $8,000 was raised and she did spend it, well, on her breasts, actually for any augementation as opposed to any health measures. She did have a problem with her breasts as in her own self image and she wanted them larger. She took the money, and she’s under arrest. Bless the people who gave to her so that they don’t feel like boobs. Sorry, couldn’t resist it. But, she does get to keep them. Who says crime doesn’t pay or at least augment.

Let’s Nip This Crap In The Bud

Pine Ridge is one of the largest Native American reservations in the country. Alcohol is forbidden. However the liquor stores in Whiteclay, Nebraska, population 10 (that’s right t-e-n) sells more than 4,000,000 cans of beer and liquor annually as Anheuser-Busch uses that as it’s gateway into the Indian economy where they are not legally allowed to sell. 90% of the arrests by tribal police are alcohol related as are a similar percentage of juveniles. Frankly, if Anheuser Busch would have the capacity for shame they would probably have it, but they don’t. Mockery and money are the only way things get changed in this world and what little we at Real Faux News can do, we recommend agreeing with Nicholas Kristoff in calling for a nationwide boycott against Anheuser-Busch. They can’t feel but they can count.