The "ultimate" dating resume


How's this for an irresistible package? You're 80 years old, you've got a Nazi tattoo between your eyebrows, you're a confirmed psychotic, but it gets better. You're wondering how much better could get? Well you're a mass murderer and you're in prison for life and you're basically unrepentent, so what attractive 26-year-old wouldn't fall for you? Well the "bachelor" is none other than Charles Manson. The bride has got to make a heck of an interview but the upside of having a husband in prison with no chance of parole is that she knows where on the planet he is at all times. We just want to know what planet she's from.

NRA MEMO


The reason we need so many bad guys able to easily get guns is that we would have an excuse for "good guys" getting guns. And it sure does help the bottom line for the gun manufacturers, who in addition to owning their factories, are also the majority owners of the NRA.

A concession on suppression


In last week's midterm election, less than 37% of ELIGIBLE voters actually did so. That is the lowest level of participation since a very united and somewhat distracted America in 1942 had less than 35% participate. So I don't want to hear a word from Democrats, progressives etc who claim that Republican's suppress their vote...they do fine by themselves. And when we got a "decent" participation as in CT where more that 55% voted, we didn't have to put up with 4 years of "Foley's Follies".

America's most dangerous, jobs that is

Being a policeman or sheriff is a dangerous job, they average 18 fatalities per 100,000 workers each year. But, believe it or not they are not the most dangerous job, in fact it barely makes the top 10. So we will give you the top 4.

4. Farmer or rancher

3. Pilot or flight engineer

2. Loggers

1. The most dangerous is fishers and fishing workers, at 152 deaths per 100,000 are by far the most hazardous of occupations.

Thats no fish tail.

Bill Maher's pre-– midterm monologue

Regarding the midterms: message to the Democrats is stop distancing yourself from the president, just ask "President Al Gore". The one I feel bad for is Obama. 63 straight months of economic expansion, a depression averted, a deficit reduced by two thirds (this is true), a healthcare law that's working and lowering costs, two women on the Supreme Court, Bin Laden is dead, the stock market at record highs, and unemployment rate the drop from 10.2 to 5.9. If you are a FOX News viewer trying to do the math, that's less. Gas prices are down. Is that really that hard a record to get behind? My comments: Fucking shame if fucking middle-of-the-road, progressive people and liberal people don't vote...shame on them and they get what they deserve.