FOR THE DEMOCRATIC STRATEGISTS; PLEASE STEAL THESE IDEAS

1. Straight ticket express vote Democrats only, its our only chance...
2. Register, register, register...remember they won't let you win a close one
3. Palin/Buchanan, tomorrow belongs to them?
4. To Palin; do you believe in science of evolution and immunology, and the vaccines that results from that belief? And are your children vaccinated?
5. If we think that the media is hard on McCain for his age or Palin for her gender, what makes us think that global challenges can be graded on a curve?
6. They can grouse about our media but I doubt genocidal maniacs of Darfur, the psychotic Vladimir Putin, or the murderous Osama Bin Laden will ease up accordingly.

ON THIS LAWN, (TWO) SIGNS OF THE TIMES

I just drove past a "For Sale" sign in front of a home, with another sign, should we say of our times (and mindset for that matter.) A call to the realtor confirmed it's been listed since this past summer and has some very unique conveniences even considering the affluent community in which it's located. Not that we are into real estate, but they are now selling (they hope) at a price of at least 20% less than listed and this is now being available in less than three months of a listing. It's an unfortunate but hardly atypical American story and so is the political dynamic at work within that property owners heart and mind. I'll explain; in many a poli-sci class (at least that's where I heard it) they tell a story of a farmer in 1936 who was being asked about the upcoming election, with FDR running for his second term. This man of the land was decisive, pointing out that in 1932, the time of the last election he was virtually busted and local services, power etc. in the Great Depression were barely functional. By 1936 of course the New Deal TVA et al had primed the pump and the greatest economic recovery this country has ever achieved, or had to achieve was well underway and the man from Tennessee recognized it, in a unique (for some) plain folk American way. He said in 1932 he'd voted Republican and things had gotten so much better that he had to vote Republican again. Back to the lawn of the house desperate to be sold, next to the realtors sign is a McCain/Palin poster. I hope the reason for that sign of the times isn't that in the last election they voted Democratic and property values plummeted since, so they won't do that again.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

If George Bush then and Sarah Palin now have shown us anything, its that of these three seemingly annoying traits; cutesiness, smugness, and folksiness, only the first two are really annoying. The third is downright dangerous.

In Character Assassination by Assignation One Size Fits All

Good news America, your greatest concerns should not be about the economy and a melting down Wall Street. Nor should they be about the growing influence of the Taliban in Afghanistan or Iraq. Don’t worry a hoot about foreclosures or runs on banks or even global warming for that matter (especially the causes of it, how important could these be), or even if you’ll be able to afford health care, especially if Mr. McCain is elected. No, the most important thing in the last month of this more than important election is a referendum on Mr. Obama’s character. In other words an all out character attack, one promise for change we expect Mr. McCain to keep.

Really, isn’t this where the focus should lie, on radicals from the sixties with whom Mr. Obama has been seen now and then (the last time being five years ago at a charity fund raiser), or a much too mouthy preacher. So then, after failing to sell the country on the importance of their stories, Mr. McCain and Governor Palin still fail to grasp it’s about your stories (and struggles) out there across America. Thus, they’ve decided to focus the election campaign on Mr. Obama’s story, their version.
So we can rest easy that the big issues are all under control as John McCain (like recently about Wall Street) goes out of control, and to support all this is a documentary by Sean Hannity. A documentary by Sean Hannity; that’s like a benign aneurysm, friendly fire or an amicable divorce, but this past Sunday on Fox News (another oxymoron) he did it again.

In a program devoted to character assassination by association (even they at Fox can’t come up with Mr. Obama’s deeds to match their accusations), they said he’d been “training for a radical over throw of the government” as a community organizer. No proof of that of course, but we’d certainly support anyone who will work for the overthrow of Fox News. But back to the program, Mr. Hannity’s figure of authority is a man named Andy Martin, a conservative writer who is generally given “credit” for having begun the campaign that Barack OBama is a Muslim, this after their complaints about the character of his protestant minister, hmmm. But in the words of journalist Jim Ruttenberg, “Mr. Martin was careful not to present his theories about Mr. Obama as proven fact”. Great, reminds you fauxvians we hope of one of our sayings that “knowledge is good and facts are okay too”. A final bit about Mr. Martin; in 1996 he proved too right wing extreme for even the Republican Party in Florida (this is possible?). Why, because they received actual documents from his attempt to gain a congressional seat in Connecticut (he’s one of ours, ouch) and personally gave as the purpose of one of his political committees as “to eliminate Jew power in America and impeach the judges of the US Court Appeals in New York City.” Mr. Martin denies he has anti-Semitic feelings, just like were sure he doesn’t have any anti-Muslim feelings; great plan Sean, if you folks couldn’t get the Jews, get the Muslims, even if you have to make them up.

TO THE "STIMULATED" JOHN MCCAIN; LEARN FROM BOTH ROOSEVELTS

On "This Week With..." John McCain decries the system of earmarks but says he probably would have voted for them after being against them. He wouldn't approve the stimulus package until he read it, oh...but when he was given the preliminary plan last Monday (it was a whole three pages) by Tuesday evening he “hadn't had a chance” to read it. He alleges one of the crucial ongoing problems is the decline of home prices, and he may just face nine times the problem with that many homes.

Now by the way he's a "Teddy Roosevelt Republican" who will do "what little I can," and he "won't claim a bit of credit." A number of Congressional insiders from both parties agree that would be an accurate assessment of his actual contributions. The fact is that this crisis is what Warren Buffett has called "a financial Pearl Harbor," but what's really killing the high-rolling, all the time lower tax, Bush-booster bunch are several things. First, it's obvious there will need to be more regulation of financial institutions in the foreseeable future. Second, the system of giving CEOs excessive bonuses and stock rewards for what is essentially failure in performance is essentially a failure itself. And third, regarding many more decisions with which they will have to live, the conservative theorists will have to admit in private what they are simply not honest enough to do publicly. And that is that on so many levels FDR was so much more evolved on such crises (pardon the reference to evolution) than all those who’ve spent their intellectual careers trying to undo and discredit his legacy.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

When trying to restore frayed relationships (particularly in the family), take a breath, have a plan and work out a script. And trust your plan as opposed to your instinct which is probably what caused many of the problems in the first place.

MAVERICK

Who is the tall, dark stranger there? Maverick is the name. Ridin' the trail to who knows where, Luck is his companion, Gamblin' is his game. Smooth as the handle on a gun. Maverick is the name. Wild as the wind in Oregon, Blowin' up a canyon, Easier to tame. Riverboat, ring your bell, Fare thee well, Annabel. Luck is the lady that he loves the best. Natchez to New Orleans Livin on jacks and queens Maverick is a legend of the west. Riverboat, ring your bell, Fare thee well, Annabel. Luck is the lady that he loves the best. Natchez to New Orleans Livin on jacks and queens Maverick is a legend of the west. Maverick is a legend of the west.

------------------------------------

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE-EARLY SEPTEMBER 2008 I never liked this guy, I mean really he was against our tax cuts, said the war in Iraq would be difficult if it worked at all, never wanted to drill and even said (in his 2000 life) that if we repealed Roe vs. Wade many American teenagers would face unsafe abortions. Well, he has changed, but I just don't know. He's saying (not doing of course) all the right things, that he's against lobbyists (only 49 are on his campaign staff), and if he doesn't get self serve cred with Carly Fiorina, when does he? Oh, she was actually fired by Hewlett-Packard as chief executive but the stock was only down 50% from when she started; haven't these shareholders ever heard of the glass (ceiling?) half full? Anyway, Ms. Fiorina got a $42 million severance for herself-so she understands Republican business principles. So I guess that rebel bit of his will work, remember if you fool some of the people all of the time (sorry Lincoln you never were our type of Republican), -- oh my gosh he's just appointed Sarah Palin as his VP. Let me check, yes she's more religious and less scientific that Dub, this might just work with the voters and fool enough women too. Maybe he can really pull off that "Maverick" thing, if we just say it long enough and loud enough, yawn and...a channel with old westerns starring James Garner begins to play as Karl drifts off into wish and song...

Who is the false talk changer there
Maverick is his claim
Rewritin' himself to who knows where
A faith based veep companion
Earmarks are her game

Truth's he can't handle must be spun
Maverick is his claim
To bend to the base that must be won
Fear’s our best companion
Use O’s “Muslim” name

SEC ring your bell
The fundamentals all are well
With luck we can either bribe or dupe the rest
Mac blew off New Orleans
While living on Cindy's means
So Maverick as a legend serves him best
Yes Maverick as a legend serves him best

SEC ring your bell
Having 8 digs is swell
Tough luck to those who have one home at best
Straight talk's a long lost dream
with Palin his "no thanks" queen
So maverick as a legend serves him best
Yes maverick as a legend serves him best

THE DISQUALIFIER

Be it an airline pilot steering your pane through a storm, be it a fireman or a policeman planning your rescue under perilous circumstances, be it a surgeon operating on you and confronting the unexpected or be it being a President in such times as these…brains should not be a disqualifier. For those of you so celebrating...happy new year, enjoy, prosper, and reflect.

IF SHE DOES NOT FIT THERE IS NO RESPITE

“Is he qualified to lead?” The Republicans have asked (and answered to their own satisfaction) so many times regarding Barack Obama. Under the topic of what goes around comes around, the Presidential debate on this past Friday provided a go around come around moment. After the candidates had concluded, the Vice Presidential candidates were invited by the news networks to add their thoughts. So Joe Biden came on for several minutes and answered Brian Williams questions, but where was Sarah Palin? She’d been invited to be sure, but the Republicans instead of sending the former beauty contestant into the contest sent on her behalf Mr. Congeniality. That’s right, it was Rudy Giuliani who did the vice bit for the Republicans that night, his forced and frightening grin in full flower. But that begs a more important question, the one with which we began. Never mind is Sarah Palin qualified to lead the nation should the moment arise, the Republicans don’t feel she is yet qualified to follow.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHIES

1. I am uncomfortable as a Jew agreeing or voting with people in this generation whose previous generations were pretty sure we had horns.
2. If at all possible, the lord and health permitting, you should live your life on terms such that your death provides not a single aspect of relief.

ON MAKING THE STADIUM SAFE FOR RELIGION

Two summers ago, just past my 60th birthday while watching my beloved Yankees, I left my seat for a restroom break in well, kind of a hurry. The mega-size giant cola had kicked in. As I turned to cheer for an inning-ending double play, I was stopped by a chain being thrown in front of me and when I tried to avoid that my arm was grabbed by a security guard who informed me I had to stay and "show respect," which translated into an enforced "joining with Kate Smith to sing God Bless America." Personally, I consider it a joyous obligation to pray which is by definition praising the Lord but I'll be damned if someone's going to tell me how or when. My answer was (while a policeman approached) as follows, "First, I'm sixty and so is my bladder, second I was in the armed forces when virtually all those who now use religion to influence politics were working on their multiple deferrments, and third, another thing that blesses America is the Bill of Rights. And finally, back to my bladder." People had gathered and the policeman present forged the better peace and said "I think this man should get to go to the restroom." My final rejoiner was to (hopefully) inject humor into this subject by asking "Why would we all want to join Kate Smith? The lady's been dead for over twenty years!" Most who had witnessed this chuckled, although there were one or two glowering exceptions. To be fair, since I had witnessed more than one previous such incident I was probably a bit on the ready, especially since one time it was a gentleman of around eighty who was being "held." Fortunately that time as well the uniformed policeman intervened and calmed things down. Is "God Bless America" really that crucial to our nervous post 9/11 DNA? If so why does no other professional baseball, football, basketball or hockey team seem to deem it necessary? Since Irving Berlin wrote the song in 1938 we've had Pearl Harbor with WWII to follow, the Korean War, and the Cuban Missile Crisis among other challenges, none of which made us frightened enough to try and enforce any type of group religious homage. The brutal murderers of 9/11 may have combined their treachery and our complacency to inflict personal and property damage on America, but they could never hope to destroy the essence of America, our democracy, our Constitution or our Bill of Rights. All of these exude our treasured freedom and tolerance. What concerns me is that if enough of us get frightened enough, we can do the very harm to America ourselves that those cowardly hijackers on 9/11 could never do. To Mr. Bin Laden, that may have been the whole idea.

THOSE COUNTRY FIRST REPUBLICANS

What would be an exceptional act of selflessness? The GOP uses the mantra "Country First" but is that what John McCain actually did when he decided on Sarah Palin for VP; as in that she's truly the readiest in the land to serve in his stead, ok. Is it selfless to retain the biggest tax breaks for those who have had the biggest incomes and no doubt the biggest bank accounts in America, many many of whom are McCain donors? Aside, we know Senator McCain says you have to make 5 million dollars a year to be considered rich, but that begs the question all the more. Really, isn't someone who is, and has, made that kind of money done pretty well off America and who more should give something back considering our pressured, deficit ravaged government. That is one way, a path Republicans never choose which would be putting "country first".
When Elizabeth Edwards said to John McCain referencing her battle with cancer that wasn't it wonderful that she (and he) had such great health care plans available due to their economic and political status. Mr. McCain didn't seem to think so, and bristled that he didn't have much of a health care plan in North Vietnam, as if to say he knows what truly wretched health care is. We agree Senator, and once again with deference to your service and imprisonment you seem to feel reassured that since the Republican health care plan is more compassionate than that of the North Vietnamese we should be gratified. Nah, providing better health care than that of the "Hanoi Hilton" should not get you or the Republican party kudos. Aspire to better please.
No, here is how the Republicans seem to show their selfless selves. And that is by asking us to forget about the selves they have been and what they have done after 8 years of controlling the Presidency and 6 of controlling congress; they are asking us to forget that Republicans are Republicans. if on election day the American people buy this pig and a poke, with or without lipstick we deserve what we get.

MCCAIN-PALIN FAUX FRIEND TO WOMEN MOMENT

Here is this week's McCain-Palin Faux Friend to Women Moment, and again this does not reflect the view here at the Faux.

Said about Cindy McCain, in public: "She is such a c*nt."
The source: Senator John McCain-Faux friend to women.

Aside: a Faux financial bit of speculation-Cindy McCain did make John McCain sign a prenup.

2 FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHIES

1. Sarah Palin is to women's interest as Clarence Thomas is to that of blacks.
2. Each election cycle it seems the Republicans are able to convince us, out of fear to vote for them. And after each election cycle within a frustratingly short period of time we come to realize that they were whom we should have been fearing.

AH, THE LEGEND OF SARAH PALIN

We're told that when she took over as governor of Alaska, she sold the corporate jet "on ebay and...she made a profit," the source of this being John McCain at the Republican convention. Turns out she listed it on ebay, failed to sell it, but did finally sell it privately, at a $500,000 loss. We've heard (again from John McCain) how she said "Thanks, but no thanks to the bridge to nowhere," Mr. McCain's poster child for waste in government but actually she only did so after she had been (way) for it before she was against it. Then, only after congress had informed Alaska the bridge was a no go, did she follow on board but she did “lead” in one respect, she kept the money, well over 200 million dollars. Mr. McCain also informs us that Ms. Palin isn't your typical “grab money from Washington” type, unlike, say, Barack Obama. Interestingly, as Charles Gibson also (and more truthfully) informed us, and perhaps Ms. Palin in their interview, that Alaska's federal money received came to $231.00 per person whereas Illinois, Obama's state, got federal funds equal to $22.00. That's obviously less than on tenth that of Palin's booty. And speaking of booty, what we're not told is what's in her tax return, because she hasn't released it; something to do with charging the state a per diem when she was working at home, and not reporting it as income?
The Republicans want us to be concerned that Sarah Palin may be unfairly treated in the press due to sexism (like they were really concerned for Hillary), but, do world events ever grade on a curve? Will the genocidal leaders in Darfur , the ruthless Vladimir Putin or the murderous Osama Bin Laden cut her any slack because of gender? Aside from the sure to come fake endorsement of Barack Obama by Bin Laden, this is the type of weakness they'll pounce on. So if before she's even president she's already expecting deferential treatment by our press, what about world events? Hey, if she's that weak, or Republicans think she is, and they should know, than she’s just not ready to lead. Think about it, she's not even ready to follow. And what does it say about Mr. "Country First" McCain, picking Sarah Palin as the best qualified person to be president in his stead?