BUDGET DELAYED, HOW ‘BOUT BUDGET BETRAYED

The Obama administration has announced that the budget report will be held off until the middle of next month, a little later than due. The GOP is complaining that they are delaying, but somehow they didn’t realize something interesting about the Bush administration’s handling of their last several budgets. Since they “weren’t sure” about the clause for Iraq and Afghanistan, they put in zero. There’s a big difference between a budget briefly delayed than one permanently betrayed. We have the deficits to prove it.

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SHE GOES BEYOND THE PALIN, UPDATE

Sarah Palin is considering a number of new initiatives, among them working for politicians that share her views (she says including Democrats) and writing a book. By working for the Democrats she would really be serving the GOP purpose, as it would no doubt help get Republicans elected. Additionally, before writing a book she should probably, actually, read one or failing that… at least a newspaper. And pss…make it a point to remember the name of what you read.

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STILL STANDING, WITHOUT THE PROMPTING

<During a recent speech one of the two tele-prompters that Barack Obama was using came crashing down to the floor. He joked about it and kept on going. We keep on going too. In America that’s just what we do. As Barack Obama once said “no one would do well betting against the long term success of America”. That is something that he can say and believe with or without teleprompters.

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HUES AND VIEWS WITH JEWS

While meeting with Jewish leaders about his approach to the Arab-Israeli conflict, Barack Obama pointed out (and factually so) that the media reports his demands of Israel far more than they report his demands of the Arabs. We at the Faux think that’s absolutely okay, as it isn’t what the media reports that’s important, its what they are really doing. It also isn’t really that newsworthy that Barack Obama is meeting with Jews, as he ends every day by meeting with David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel to get his hues and views from Jews.

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MAD ABOUT MADOFF UPDATE; SOME SOUTHERN EXPOSURE

Bernie Madoff wanted many things to happen, including (as they used to say in fictional writing classes) “the suspension of disbelief”. Alas, one of his last wishes has been unanswered by those who are now in charge of his life. He had requested to be sent to a prison in the northeast, but his sentence will land him in Atlanta where Mr. Madoff who recently had too much exposure will now get some southern exposure.

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G-D IS NO LONGER FRAGILE AT YANKEES STADIUM

We have great news. The lord is great, all powerful, omniscient, omnipotent and no longer fragile. Thanks to an agreement reached on July 6th in a NY federal court, people attending games at Yankees stadium now have the freedom (for whatever reason - personal, religious etc.) to leave the stadium during the singing of G-d bless America. This happened as a result of a lawsuit filed by a Queens resident named Bradford Campeau-Laurion, who was ejected from the stadium last year for attempting to go to the bathroom during this song. We at the Faux have had similar experiences, and we were successfully able to get the security to remove his hand from our arms by informing him that we as well as our bladders are both over 60 years old. One of the police stopping Bradford yelled at him to “get out of my country” (do the Yankees think they own this country also? We thought it was only NY), and while admitting no guilt the city of NY paid $12,000 in legal fees and $10,001 to Bradford Campeau-Laurion. Incidentally, Bradford is a Red Sox fan but he has done a great favor for Yankees fans, and hopefully it will reverse our curse we consider to be one of the 5 “great” curses in baseball history. To review, after 9/11 a directive was issued for all teams to play G-d bless America, but it was rescinded almost immediately. The Yankees, and only the Yankees (it seems) never got the memo and…haven’t won a world series since. So for those Yankees fans who are getting older, its great to know that G-d is no longer fragile…even if our bladders are.

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SHE DON’T NEED TO BE JANE DOE NO MO’

Yesterday during Senator Al Franken’s debut speaking as a judicial committee member (Al Franken of all people), there was an interruption by a lady named Norman McCorvey. She was formerly known as Jane Roe, as in Roe vs. Wade, the landmark Supreme court decision on abortion in 1973. She has now become an anti-abortion activist, and hey, at age 61 she no longer needs abortion rights. We have often said that one of things that turned many conservatives into liberals was when they were facing draft notices for the Vietnam war, however we forgot to mention that once we pulled out of Vietnam they could then go back to being conservative again. And now Norma McCorvey, who no longer needs abortion rights due to her age, don’t need to be Jane Doe No Mo’.

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JUST TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT...EXCEPT FOR

On health care and among other things, it’s obvious that the right-wing is pointing out, and they claim the American people agree, we just don’t want too much government. Well, you don’t want government intruding your life except when you need the armed forces to protect us, the policemen and firemen to save us, and social security to give us security. What however does that have to do with healthcare? Well there’s a couple of little things, one is called Medicare which covers 45 million Americans. There’s a little thing called Medicaid, which covers 16 million Americans. Does it mean that the right-wingers are against more government? Well, they don’t want our lives to be intruded with, except when they need it. They don’t want government except when it’s necessary; and they don’t want healthcare, or armed forces to help except when they’re needed to help. But they don’t want too much government.

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IT AINT ALL THAT STIMULATING YET… YET??

The stimulus package is getting grief because it is working too slowly, and it’s not doing all that it’s supposed to do. First, the plan was supposed to be a two-year plan, and we’re only four months into it. The plan was supposed to give out 787 billion dollars and only 56 of the 787 billion has been given out, but that’s just too much numbers and too much words. We want people to keep venting because to the media, regarding the stimulus package, that is what’s stimulating.

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SONIA SOTMAYOR, BOROUGHING INTO HISTORY

The Hearings on Sonia Sotomayor begin today regarding her nomination by Barack Obama as the Supreme Court Justice. All those in the know seem certain, without some Blockbuster revelation that she has consorted with aliens or in a previous life was a war criminal, that will shortly be confirmed. When she does so, she will be burroughing into history because she will be joined by Antonio Scalia, who is from Queens, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg who is from Brooklyn. Ms. Sotomayor is a native of the Bronx. That will be three New York boroughs represented out of nine Supreme Court Justices. Surely no city has done anything close. Surely she has “boroughed” her way into history.

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A Tennis Final You Can Love

Kudos to both William sisters, Venus and Serena, who played again at the finals in Wimbledon. These classy ladies will always be favs of Faux because they stood up for Shahar Peer in Dubai, because due to being an Israeli citizen she was denied the right to play. The William sisters recognized that prejudice against one group is prejudice against all, threatened to walk out and forfeit their pre-tournament guarantees. Ms. Peer said they need not due so, but it has already been arranged that she and other Israeli athletes will be able to play next year thanks to Venus and Serena, who are truly winners.

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FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

One of the smartest actions a person can take is not to act smart.

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NIX-ON DENYING THESE ONES

The beauty of the Nixon tapes recently released is that they are his words, spoken by him, believed by him, and blatantly ignored by some of his devoted loyalists. One such disciple was Ronald Reagan as we find by the massacres. Nixon’s views on abortion being okay only if the fetus was bi-racial and his interesting remark about Jews “anti-semitism is stronger than you think, and will continue what happened in Germany…if these people don’t start behaving”. Jews are supposed to behave, and there are still Jews who like Nixon? Honestly, lets stop worshipping our oppressors.

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WE ARE NOT AS FAT, HEALTH CARE IN THE “RED”

Connecticut is the 3rd least fat state in the country, as only 21.3% of its population is considered obese. And among children, that number goes up (sadly) to 25.7%. The top people “massing at the southern borders of our country” (sorry, couldn’t resist it) are in declining order – top 5. South Carolina 29.7 % Tennessee 30.2% West Virginia 31.1% Alabama 31.2% Mississippi 32.5% (!!!) In addition to that, 7 of the top 8 heaviest states are red states, I guess they don’t realize that political influence doesn’t come with body mass.

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The USA spends nearly 700 billion dollars annually on the military and only 3 billion on the FDA (and Bush wanted to cut that even lower). Yet food poisoning kills far more people every year than terrorists or foreign armies have, so why do we fear dying one way so much more than the other way? Either way, dead is dead

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