Tuesday, July 14, 2009




G-D IS NO LONGER FRAGILE AT YANKEES STADIUM


We have great news. The lord is great, all powerful, omniscient, omnipotent and no longer fragile. Thanks to an agreement reached on July 6th in a NY federal court, people attending games at Yankees stadium now have the freedom (for whatever reason - personal, religious etc.) to leave the stadium during the singing of G-d bless America. This happened as a result of a lawsuit filed by a Queens resident named Bradford Campeau-Laurion, who was ejected from the stadium last year for attempting to go to the bathroom during this song. We at the Faux have had similar experiences, and we were successfully able to get the security to remove his hand from our arms by informing him that we as well as our bladders are both over 60 years old.

One of the police stopping Bradford yelled at him to “get out of my country” (do the Yankees think they own this country also? We thought it was only NY), and while admitting no guilt the city of NY paid $12,000 in legal fees and $10,001 to Bradford Campeau-Laurion. Incidentally, Bradford is a Red Sox fan but he has done a great favor for Yankees fans, and hopefully it will reverse our curse we consider to be one of the 5 “great” curses in baseball history. To review, after 9/11 a directive was issued for all teams to play G-d bless America, but it was rescinded almost immediately. The Yankees, and only the Yankees (it seems) never got the memo and…haven’t won a world series since.

So for those Yankees fans who are getting older, its great to know that G-d is no longer fragile…even if our bladders are.

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