Where There’s A Will There’s A Sway

Thank you George Will for summarizing the “winning” record of Mitt Romney going back to his 1994 Senatorial primary. He has been in 25 races and he’s only lost 19 of them. That would be a pretty good six-pack if it had been like six or seven or eight races. Yes that’s right Mitt, or as we like to call him in RealFauxNews, Flitt Romney is 6 wins 19 losses in 25 contests. Electability? You bet. He’s like the guy that you listen to his picks in sports ‘cause you know you make money by betting against him.!!!!!

Bit by Bit We’ll Know Mitt By Mitt

This will be a new feature from RealFauxNews in which we will do no negative advertising on Mitt Romney. We will simply quote Mitt Romney on Mitt Romney. Today’s thing is he doesn’t know if he’s rich and he made $45,000,000 last year. Bit by bit we’ll define Mitt by Mitt.!!!!!

FAUXLOSOPHY

prejudice has no greater enabler than short memories.

JOE PA, WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Irish philosopher Edmund Burke famously and correctly said “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing”. Whether former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, an educated man in his own right was familiar with the writings of Mr. Burke, I cannot say. But such knowledge would have served him well. Failing that, he hopefully read “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, again with the same sad lesson. One you are aware of a crime you can’t become unaware. And I truly hope that other coaches, administrators and leaders who are facing a similar situation and test that Coach Paterno has failed, take heed.

A Nugget of Knowledge from Paul Krugman

Newt Gingrich was being described by Peggy Noonan in somewhat glowing terms for his supposed intellect and Paul Krugman said that Newt Gingrich is a stupid man’s idea of what a smart man sounds like. Say it, think it, and try not to laugh. That’s some nuggets – from the Krug.

Flight of Flitt

Flitt (you know him as Mitt) Romney has curiously decided not to show at events in Iowa preceding the Iowa primary. The Iowa governor says he thinks that’s an incredible mistake. It’s certainly a puzzling one. But no more puzzling than his attempt to make himself the “butt” of a joke when he falsely claimed, again as a joke, that a waitress pinched his rear-end in a New Hampshire restaurant. Well, talk about flying the campaign by the seat of your pants…

Your Vote Do Mean A Thing When It Does Got That Swing.

Right now according to almost every survey voters are fed-up with these “flat tax, enrich the rich” ideas. 70% in this country feel that Congressional Republican policies favor the wealthy. And 2/3rds say there should be an increase in taxes on millionaires. This could be as odious as 3%. Here’s the rub: their sentiments are admirable, their logic is correct, but they need to keep this intensity going just long enough to the first Tues in November of 2012 and actually go out and vote. If America votes like America thinks, especially in the key states, their vote will mean a thing - cause it will have that swing.

Luxury Foods - We’re Not Talking Peanuts

One of the staples of American diets, peanut, as in peanut butter, as in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, is going up 40% in price. We’re told the average child will have 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before graduating high school. We see these facts to be correct. What have you changed in the product to raise the price from $450 a ton and up to almost $1,200? That’s getting kind of crunchy - in the budget anyway. And maybe down the road peanut will be considered more of a luxury treat. But for now, price-wise, it’s not just peanuts.

Executive Traction

President Obama this week is issuing an executive order which he and his admin believe will stop the growing number of shortages of vital medicines. Many are used to treat life threatening illnesses including cancer and bacterial infections. He’s both offering help and rather “direct incentive” to drug manufacturers and wholesalers. It’s the first time since 1985 that a President has “become involved in FDA (Food & Drug Administration) issues,” but the fact is, people need these medications and we need executive action. Drugs for the following disease have been declared in short supply: Child Leukemia, breast and colon cancer, and a number of other infections. And some of these prices have risen between 15 to 100 times. For people who don’t want government to interfere, I think we want government to interfere when it’s our medicine. And that’s good medicine for us all to remember that we at times have to take.

A Republican In Favor Of Health Care – Mrs. Gingrich

To Mrs. Gingrich (the third lady who would be our First Lady), an important note: When Mrs. Gingrich (the first) got cancer, the eye of the Newt then began to wander and he cheated. When Mrs. Gingrich II got cancer the eye of the Newt wandered again and he spent 6 years with you auditioning for your current position as Mrs. Gingrich III. You must be in favor of health care and pro-active exams. Stay healthy. And if you should get the “C” word, don’t let him know.

Acting Like Half-Wits To Patrick Witt

The Rhodes scholarship committee in all its “wisdom” has decided the one day of the calendar year 2011 they can interview the Yale starting quarterback is the day of “The Game” (Harvard vs. Yale). Are you kidding us? The kid can’t change the day of the football game. He can’t change the fact that he’s the starting QB. And you’re saying he’s got to choose between taking a shot at a Rhodes Scholarship and playing his final game for Yale against Harvard? Mr. Patrick Witt transferred from Nebraska and has a 3.9 average in history and has a legitimate Rhodes Scholarship candidate. We wish the Rhodes Scholarship people had kept their wits about them regarding Patrick Witt.

A BLUE MOOD ON BARACK OBAMA’S PROSPECTS

Barack Obama is on vacation. And sure enough there’s a natural disaster – hurricane Irene – set to hit states on the east coast, all but two (Florida and S. Carolina) of which were blue states in the last election. Additionally, Washington had its first earthquake in 113 years this week. So with all the blue states about to be hit by a hurricane, one must ask themselves if a Republican president would not have been able to prevent this disaster from hitting the red states. Besides for the drout in the Midwest, the tornadoes in Texas, the raging forest fires in Arizona, oh never mind…lets return to blue mood Barack Obama, because the beauty of having a Democratic president instead of a Republican is that you can blame them for natural disasters. Mr. Obama, where is your leadership? Why cant you push Irene out to sea? You are supposedly in much better shape than John McCain was! Postscript; this will be our 10th(!) disaster of a billion dollars or more this year weatherwise. This could mean the lord is starting to show disapproval of this president, no? But wait, he was president for 2 years with no disasters, so maybe he actually doesn’t like the tea party and is showing what he thinks of their economics by letting heaven trickle down on us…

TREASONOUS JEW-BOY BRINGS MUCH STOCK JOY

Ben Bernanke, the “treasonous” chairman of the federal reserve, is at it again helping the American economy. By his pledging to help the markets regain momentum, we may actually have our first plus week in over a month. As we know, Gov. Rick Perry has recently claimed that the Ben Bernanke’s economic policies were “treasonous”. For the record, the punishment for treason is death, we think that might be a but harsh for a disagreement over fiscal policy. Nonetheless, Mr. Bernankes moves today were widely applauded, it helped the stock rally, helped many 401k’s, and definitely produced some all-around good. Lets remind Rick Perry that Mr. Bernanke has never been a secessionist.

HECK OF A JOB CLOWNIE

Such masters of human compassion as Eric Cantor and Dick Cheney and Rand Paul are complaining about the amount of money FEMA is spending to deal with the human and financial toll of hurricane Irene. Irene has been called one of the 10 greatest disasters in American history, and remarkably the preparedness of FEMA and the other government agencies have kept the death toll to a minimum. It’s a tragedy that anyone was lost, but consider Katrina, where we just stood by and let it happen. There were way too many deaths in New Orleans, a great city was destroyed, and well over 100,000 people were displaced, many of them permanently. Well, you can disregard Katrina if you are Michael Brown of “heck of a job, Brownie” fame (or as we call it “heck of a job, clownie), as he is one of those condemning the government for overreacting to Irene. Messrs. Paul, Cantor, Cheney and Brown are creatures of nature, so in that sense they are natural disasters. Heck of a job clownies!

TAKING STOCK ON THE TEABAGGERS

The stock market had its first up week in months this week and now it’s at the highest level since before the major drop in August, and it’s still having good days. Perhaps it’s because the teabaggers are out of Washington, when they return we have no doubt the market will go down. So when taking stock in the teabaggers, remember that their greatest asset is their absence.