Tuesday, December 9, 2008

WE PLAGIARIZE IN ADVANCE AGAIN; THIS TIME IN THE NY TIMES

Most if not all of you loyal Fauxvians know that since our inception (when was that?) we have compared President GW Bush to another stubborn, folksy aristocratic commander, Captain Edmund John Smith. In review, Captain Smith was a self-assured, from the gut leader whose writing contained the phrase "I never met an obstacle I couldn't personally overcome." Alas, he was also a bit lazy and when he wasn't at his best he wanted his rest and got it, no matter what the circumstances. This lead to his leaving the bridge of his ship despite reports they were in an ice zone and leaving a novice on watch. His ship of course was the Titanic, bad job reviews followed. So when this past Sunday the NY Times featured a cartoon by Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Journal Constitution we were "caught again," plagiarizing again. What is depicted is a ship named the "Bush Presidency" illustrated very much like the Titanic, sinking in ice filled waters. At the front of the now doomed vertical craft is Mr. Bush in a captains outfit proclaiming his regret that the iceberg chose collision. It stopped short of saying if we don't keep shopping the iceberg wins.
Link: http://projects.ajc.com/gallery/view/opinion/luckovichdec08/

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The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News