Wednesday, April 29, 2009




VALUES VS. VALUABLES


Listening to President Obamas rhetoric we note that he actually lives his rhetoric. He IS a great father, he IS a great husband, he DOES believe in education, he DOES believe in personal responsibility. The way he spoke to audiences and minority parents and said “good hospitals and a good armed forces is my responsibility, but taking care of your kids…that’s all yours, I have my own to care for”. That’s a values president. Lets look at who Mr. Bush was beholden to; the oil interests, Haliburton, donors who could run hedge funds and not pay their fair share of taxes. Mr. Bush was a valuables president, his focus wasn’t on values it was on valuables.

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THE ARGUMENT FOR KOSHER EATING, YOU NEVER PIG OUT


We have all heard about the swine flu outbreak which sadly this morning took the life of another human being (a 2 year old toddler from Texas), and we still don’t know how many will fall victim. In general however, the cases in the US have been much less lethal than in Mexico. We still have to be on guard, act with caution and increase our hygiene levels. A frind of mine recently pointed out that perhaps we should pay more attention to the dietary recommendations of our ancestors (and the Bible). One thing you know about a Kosher Jew, while he may catch the flu…it probably wont be the swine flu.

I found a blog with a relevant article. So here is the link.Click here

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Sunday, April 26, 2009




ON FAITH MOST FRAGILE


A person at Yankees stadium (also an admitted Red Sox fan) is suing the Yankees because he was roughed up while trying to visit the mens room during the singing of G-d bless America. Surprisingly even the NY Post covered it. In 2001 MLB ordered that every stadium sing it during the 7th inning and they rescinded the order in 2002, and it seems that everyone but the Yankees got the message and dropped it.
So to those who are upset if 5 or 50 or 500 people (out of 52,000) don’t stand during G-d bless America, we ask is your faith in the lord so fragile that need 100% of Yankees stadium to stand to reinforce it? We will be following this case, because even though I have always been and will continue to be a Yankees fan, I am also a fan of freedom of speech and the constitution. And sometimes, if a man is 50 or 60 years old…so is his bladder…so let him go.

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A FAUX-DUCIARY REPORT


While walking on the boardwalk in Tel Aviv and seeing thousands and thousands of people, what is remarkable is that no more than 10% of them have their head covered. Either a good cap or a good anti-sunburn campaign would be sure to do very well here. However from those that are wearing caps we have spotted 5 NY Yankees caps and only 1 NY Mets.

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THE SEX SPECIFIC GENE


This is a ad for Mcdonald in Israel
It seems that every single advertise in the state of Israel (especially compared to what we are used to in the US) would lead someone to believe that all women are blond and all men have dark hair. It would either be a sex specific gene creating these people or a gene(ie) out of a bottle.

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Friday, April 24, 2009




FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY


When you can recognize that the angst of others is just as real to them as yours is to you, you are on the path for a real strong and good connection.

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GARDEN OF I’VE BEEN



NOW WRITING FROM ISRAEL

We are walking through this wonderful garden in Tel Aviv, which I don’t know the name of so I am calling it the “Garden of I’ve Been”. There is a mini stone hedge here, but even more fascinating is this amazing cactus. The entire cactus which is almost 6 feet tall is smooth, you can really even touch it. But the little plants, the offspring coming out of it are so sharp it can rip you up. This makes me think of a smooth, relatively moderate parent with feisty kids. It’s the story of indulgent Jewish parents.

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CAPPING A JOURNEY


NOW WRITING FROM ISRAEL

It began 7 or 8 years ago when I bought a beautiful Yarmulka (Jewish head covering) at a craft show. The Yarmulka had a fancy design but it was the label that caught my eye. It was not made in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan, it was made in Jerusalem by a place called “Yad Lakashish”. Now I am here at this store and it is magnificent to behold; there are Mezuzas, Jewish woodworkings, banners, and that’s just only the “condiments”. The real nourishment here is the sense of purpose, the daily jobs and the sense of community that you feel. You see, the workers here are elderly people, and as you walk from place to place you see 70-90 people working happily on art embroidery and wood craftsmanship. It is amazing to think about the fact that this journey began so long ago with a tag on a Yarmulka and now continues to “cap” and “captivate” us. With so much of the merchandise that we buy in the US currently being made in China and Vietnam in a method that seems like slave labor, what we find in Israel is what seems like “liberating labor”.

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ISRAEL, THE FACTS FACTOR


NOW WRITING FROM ISRAEL


The incisive Roger Cohen pointed out recently that something that everyone needs to remember about Israel. And that is that they face a very difficult and potentially unholy trinity.
Palestinians are eventually going to outpopulate the Jews.Palestinian population up 30 pct in a decade-census Because as fast as orthodox Jews procreate, it seems that EVERY Moslem family seeks that embryonic path.
The current Prime Minister has backtracked regarding talks about having a Palestinian state.
To have more Palestinians than Jews is current Israel, and to not allow them to vote and control government would be an apartheid state system. And really, if there is one thing that Israelis don’t want to do (other than violate democratic principles) its to make Jimmy Carter sound sage.

But there is (as Ronald Reagan said) the “stubborness of numbers”, and Israel must face this fact and plan accordingly. And while a Moslem majority in Israel may not be an imminent problem for the next few years, it needs to be addressed now to avert a crisis in the future.

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Monday, April 20, 2009




THE REBEL WITH A PAUSE


Larry Summers (Obama’s economic adviser) keeps pointing out that the economy has recently been showing significant signs of improvement, and we are far less likely to face severe depression and total financial collapse than originally thought or predicted. Paul Krugman pointed out that this is not a recovery, only a “pause” in the recession, which is why we are now calling Krugman the “rebel with a pause”. He points out that industrial productivity is still falling, unemployment is still up and things are “getting worse more slowly”. With the constant debate raging between Krugman and the Obama team, we hope that this rebel is wrong about his pause, and if he is right we hope that the Obama people can swallow their pride and bring rebel Krugman on board.

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6 DEGREES OF TRILLIONIZATION


Recently, Paul Krugman pointed out that advanced nations have to have debt that equals 100% of their gross national productivity before they are really in trouble. The USA is currently just shy of 60%, which means that we have about 6 trillion dollars of safety net to play with. This doesn’t at all mean that we don’t have to work like crazy to fix the economy and get rid of all the bad debt and toxic assets, but it does put it into a slightly different perspective. In trillion dollars, that means we have 6 degrees of separation from some other countries that are currently leaning way over a far steeper cliff.

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POLITICAL HEALTH



As various morphs between Obama the candidate and Obama the President continue (something that incidentally has happened to the previous 43), we find the health care issue interestingly coming from the center of the aisle. This much the left hopes for and this much the right knows; if in any way, shape or form the Democrats manage to create a reasonable universal health care plan, it will no doubt change the election landscape for generations to come. It will increase the Democrats dominance on a scale that the Republicans don’t want to even imagine. The conservatives in this country are fretting over the prospect that Americas health might just come at the cost of their political health.

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Friday, April 17, 2009

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THE PRO SNIPING ARGUMENT


People of good will everywhere rejoice in the fact that the captain of the Mersk Alabama Richard Phillips was rescued by US forces from his pirate captors. Of the 4 pirates, 1 surrendered to get medical treatment and when the remaining 3 pointed an AK-47 at Captain Phillips, they were killed instantly by three snipers from the navy destroyer Bainbridge. While many will argue that the crew should have been armed in the first place (and that is a valid and legitimate argument), we see how proficient and professional these men are at what they do.

On the other hand, the French just stormed the yacht without setting up a plan and planning their mission, and we see how that turned out (it resulted in one of the hostages being killed). They waved their guns wildly and failed in their rescue attempt.

John Woodin is a famous basketball coach who is always mentioned around the NCAA championships (since he has the most NCAA victories of any coach in history). He was known to tell his players these famed words of advice “be quick, but don’t rush”. This was what the naval command at the authorization of President Obama did so efficiently; they were quick, but they didn’t rush…that’s why they are pros.

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SOME SIMILAR DEAF JAMS


President Obama on his recent trip to Europe talked about Americas arrogance, and past dismissiveness of Europe, and the entire right wing community in this country was furious. Interestingly, the European leaders nodded happily. Then he mentioned the growing anti-American sentiment throughout Europe and all of a sudden we saw the right wingers and European leaders “deaf jammed” at the same time. Neither one acknowledged what he said. The European leaders never admitted that he was right and the conservatives never credited Obama for calling them out. When we decide to give the Obama administration a fair hearing it would help if the American right could hear.

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MORE TAG THAN RAG


People seem shocked that the Somali pirates (who in their own eyes are such a rag tag outfit) could be such a serious threat and so disruptive. Yet we fail to see that besides for the element of surprise they also are surprisingly well armed. When they say “tag” you’re it. Additionally, we fail to remember the size of the ocean and how hard patrolling it has to be. To be clear, the size of the body of water that is under constant attack by pirates is as large as the entire east coast of the US. So as we begin to learn about fighting these threats, lets not take it lightly and remember that the pirates are more tag than rag.

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RIGHT WING INTEGRITY ON DEFENSE SPENDING, CUT AND RUN


All over the commentator world (the radio, news papers and of course FOX News), there is a running condemnation of the defense budget “cuts”. Yes, we know some programs were cut, but 50% of our budget is for current warfare, 10% for regular and 40% for a combination. So now lets explain “cuts” in numbers that even the right wingers can understand; it went from 534 billion dollars “down” to 513 billion. Even former President Bush (who we all know was a bit fuzzy and math) can probably figure out that 534 is greater than 513, right?

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FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY




The biggest frustration with the right wing is not so much that they live their lives constantly based on fear, its that they insist that others do so as well.

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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

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FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY


There are a special few that you know you can trust with money and a special few that you can trust with secrets; there are however only a limited and select number of special people that you can trust with both.

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SHE’S THE BEST FIRST WIFE…SO GET A LIFE


Right wing conservatives (and their talk show hosts) have no choice but to admit that the stock market has been going up and that we have a President that represents us well politically, stylistically and most important linguistically. They cannot deny that he took over the leadership of our country being a humble man and simultaneously a firm and determined man.
This leaves them no choice but to talk about Michelle Obamas partial embrace of the queen of England. This is when you really know that you have to get a life. This is also why liberal talk shows never work, as these people actually have lives.
Incidentally, one fo the people who actually thought that the way Michelle acted towards the queen was…the queen, so the right wing talk shows have been royally overruled.

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Monday, April 13, 2009

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GOOD BYE RUSH


We have heard that Rush Limbaugh is moving out of NY because he is upset about the tax increase being levied upon the top 1% of earners in the city. He claims that they are raisign taxes by 31% which isn’t true, but what the truth have to do with it when Rush is talking? Jon Stewart said it correctly, that for years we have been trying to get him out and now that hes leaving the best we can give him is good directions to beat the traffic

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POOR KOREA GUIDANCE, THE THIRD ARM WAS NOT A CHARM


So last week Korea launched a missile intending to show the world their ballistic capability, and it fell harmlessly into the sea. Understandably everyone is concerned, but we just have one question. They are concerned about Korea which has yet to launch its first successful weapon, and they are concerned about Iran which has yet to develop its first nuclear weapon, but why is no one concerned about Pakistan which has dozens of nuclear weapons? The right wing conservatives are so concerned about Iran and N. Korea since Bush called them the “axis of evil”, but why do we see no concern for the “axis of armed”?

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Sunday, April 12, 2009

HOW TO MAKE THE OFFER OF CASTRO CONVERTIBLE


Fidel Castro has asked what he can do to help President Obama. Its interesting that he should wait half a century before offering any sort of cooperation, and we have witnessed several Presidents beginning with Kennedy attempt to engage in a dialogue only to be pressured into ending it for whatever reason. All that notwithstanding, here’s our view for how Fidel can help; get his brother who is actually in charge to make the same offer!

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Friday, April 3, 2009

REVERSE NORTHERN EXPOSURE


In a surprise move the government has dropped the charges against former Senator Ted Stevens because they felt there had been prosecutional misconduct by the federal lawyers as well as the FBI. Stevens was the former Republican Senator from Alaska and had been accused of accepting favors mounting to over $250,000 in value (especially the improvements on his house). He was convicted last October, still ran for re-election and lost in a narrow contest.

What really gives us pause, is what makes the Obama people think they have the right to release a man from the opposite party just because they feel he was unjustly convicted. Could we picture the Bush people who had a corrupt Attorney General doing the same? No. But we should expect from this new justice department that they promote and ensure true and honest justice.

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FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHIES


People have argued weather John McCain was correct in saying that the fundamentals of the economy are sound. What we should all admit is that the fundamentals of the American people are sound.
The suffering and problems of this world are and always have been vast, and no one can expect someone to devote every waking hour to changing them. But we are making headway by at least knowing about them. Because whats better for the collective good than the collective “know”.

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The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News