Tuesday, July 31, 2007

TAKING A DOG POUNDING

Now suspended Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick is currently facing Federal charges involving a large scale dog fighting operation.  A statement (supposedly authored by Mr. Vick) was read by his attorney, Billy Martin, in which he (Mr. Vick) “respectfully asked” that people withhold judgment until “all the facts are in”.  Fair enough, but we at the Faux do like animals, especially those that help people, like dogs, and don’t like people who abuse them, acting, well kind of like animals.  Oh, and regarding Vick’s future statements, we’ll actually listen to and/or  read them when he actually writes them.

No comments:

The Faux News Network Principles


A) We distort, you abide
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001
E) We shoot from the flip
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News