FAIR PAYMENT, A PENNY FOR THEIR THOUGHTS

South Carolina - Two South Carolina County Republican Party chairmen stepped up to rebut criticism of Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) in a newspaper editorial Sunday. But their defense of the senator might be overshadowed by their use of an anti-Semitic stereotype to praise him. After a Democratic state senator wrote in The State that DeMint didn't bring enough money back home, Bamberg County GOP Chairman Edwin Merwin and Orangeburg County GOP Chairman James Ulmer responded that he was just looking after the nation's pennies -- like a Jew would. "There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves," Ulmer and Merwin wrote in a joint letter published by The Times and Democrat. "By not using earmarks to fund projects for South Carolina and instead using actual bills, DeMint is watching our nation's pennies and trying to preserve our country's wealth and our economy's viability to give all an opportunity to succeed." "It's people like Ulmer and Merwin that make many folks fear for the future of the once Grand Ole Party," wrote the conservative Palmetto Scoop. But of course based on the tax cut sentiments of Mr. Ulmer and Mr. Merwin naturally Palmetto scoop and their Jewish readership will continue to support them.

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SAVINGS FROM TORT REFORM? EVEN 1 IS THE PHONIEST NUMBER

Folks we have a new hero and he is Congressman Alan Grayson (D-FL). As you may have heard, in the health care debate in Congress he said the Republican plan is to get sick and die quickly. At least, that's what many people think he said. What he really said was to stay healthy and as a "fallback" if you get sick...then die quickly. He also pointed out that when the Bush people were fighting for tort reform, the sent their own committee to get the facts and prove what Mr. Bush wanted to prove, namely that the amount of the health care dollars wasted by trials for damages according to their figures (with all they could throw in) were 1% of the money spent. Others say it was less that .5%.

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TRUST BUSTED

For 60 years the insurance companies have had an anti trust exemption. We at Faux News don't entirely understand all the nuances except that since they are backing out of some of their promises on health care reform at the 11th hour, President Obama in his radio address mentioned that they had gotten these anti trust exemptions for 60 years, and perhaps that should end. What is interesting about the insurance industry (among many things) is that they used to spend 95% of their budget on health care premiums and now they spend 80%. The rest is paid out in ever increasing bonuses while their clients have ever increasing struggles. As David Axelrod pointed out, 10 years ago the health insurance premiums were half of what they are now and 95% of their budget was spent on health care payouts. This has changed, and is a trust busted, and it may force the president to bust the trust. We have said before that our President has some very assassin like qualities. But the British government never minded James Bond because he was THEIR assassin.

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BIGGER TENT, MORE NEED FOR BENT

Will Rogers said (and many of us have repeated) that he was not member of any organized political party, he was a Democrat. That noted, because of the bigger tent the President has to pay the rent for this diversity and cant lead in the smaller more monolithic ideological domain of the Republicans. Its not, per se better or worse (although we feel that for the American people it does prove to be better) just different. A Democratic president has to have a different leadership style than a Republican president.

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NFL = NATIONAL FINANCE LEAGUE

Listening recently to the broadcast of the NFL's American conference representative from NY we were struck by a couple of descriptions of traditional football locales. 1. When the green home team got into the Wendy's red zone 2. It was being reported from the Subway fresh radio booth. We thought, why stop there? Why not give names to individual plays? Perhaps the Ace Hardware power sweep. Or the Sears line plunge. Or a leap over the goal line should be the Viagra vaults. It seems there is different product placement that can be used in virtually every play description. Now of course, the coaches might have to design the plays to coordinate equal advertising time, or your Lojack defensive coordinator can steal your patterns and be onto you. Wait, did the coach just question a call by throwing the "Army, be all you can be" challenge flag?

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ANOTHER FAUX NEWS STATEMENT

FDR wanted to be judged by the enemies he had made. We at Faux News say we want our aspirations to be measured by the tyoe of enemies we hope to make.

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SOME HEALTH PLEDGES OF ALLEGIANCE

Regarding the approval and choice which medical tests have - choice being whats best for ones health and approval being getting paid for it - please consider the following; doctors have an allegiance to their patients called a Hippocratic oath. HMO's have an allegiance to their stockholders, its called their bottom line.

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AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL ANECDOTE

I wrote a letter to the USA Today on the death of JFK Jr. The first day these were printed, I called up the editor and asked "have you gotten any more on target, pointed and yet more poignant letters than mine"? She responded "maybe", and I said "do you plan to print any"? She promptly printed mine.

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HONDO MONEY'S GONZO

We haven't talked much about Hondo recently, and it really is time again. When we first picked on him, he was a regular at wrong picks and right wing jokes and he was down about $1100 on his betting, but he's now own $1700. Imagine if we would just bet against the guy...his last big picks were the Rockies and the NY Jets, and now he is so down he hasn't even come up with any right wing jokes recently. All he had today was something about Bernie Madoff showing up small in the shower. Hondo, ya gotta get ondo, and get back your Mojo. Currently though, if you want your money gonzo...just follow Hondo

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FAUX FIERY FOR THE FAR RIGHT

We are considering a line of apparel of several items which can be worn or displayed. One of our items will be designed for right wing Jews; it will be a Yarmulka and instead of having Yankees or Red Sox emblems (yes, they make those) it will have the confederate flag on it. We think its the perfect fiery for the far right Jew.

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THE DEBUT OF DELAY DELAYED

Tom Delay's star search turned out to be star crossed. He was an early scratch in the dancing competition "Dancing with the stars", it seemed he had hurt himself getting ready for the dance. Several of his warm up videos have showed up on cable TV and Youtube, and as Jon Stewart said "could he look more gay"? As far as his dancing style and given his political leanings, we cant really say he had 2 left feet, and it could actually be that he had no left side. Thus Delay is (for now) delayed.

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THE MEDIA FORAGE AWARD

The event is the family values symposium in Washington D.C. where all the right wingers gather and its generally presumed that the most moderate (left of center) is Bill O'Reilly. Actually, Bill O'Reilly was the recipient of the courage in media award. We found this very interesting because just prior to winning this award, Bill O'Reilly was demanding that no media be allowed to the event. Well, at least the letter on his "no media allowed" sign were written boldly.

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GOP= GOOD ON PRINCIPLES

Yes, there are Republicans who are principled. Yes, there are Republicans who would vote for the health care bill that Americans need to stop sick people from losing insurance. We can (and will) give you the names; Former majority leader and presidential candidate Bob Dole, former majority leader Bill Frist, former HHS secretary Tommy Thomson are among those who have come out publicly in favor of the health reform bill. These are recent statements of support, all expressing their support in the first week of October. Here is the funny whimsical part of these good 'ole principles; somehow they all do it when they are out of office or leaving office. Maybe that has to be the secret weapon of the Obama administration, to find those Republicans who are leaving office and get their support...they may be his best bet. Even these 3 have some problems with the plan, but it just seems that Republicans become more principled the less they become Republican. This goes back to Sonia Sotomayor, of the 9 Republicans that voted for her...4 were leaving office.

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WAYWARD WOODWARDS

We at the Faux have discovered more contradictions in this latest term being used "political ethics". 2 great examples of this are 1. Congressman Charles Wrangel with his various tax misstatements (he just doesn't understand that income is income) and 2. (our favorite) is Senator Jon Ensign talking his chief of staff into pimping his wife. We should never look at this as a cheap affair, as Mr. Ensign paid $12,000 for this woman's "company". Apparently though, the reason for the latest bitterness is that for the past six months he hasn't paid the bill and his chief of staff and pimp let him know...no freebies.

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FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

It is safe to say that among two thirds of longstanding disagreements between human, no one knows who started it.

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TO PATRIOTISM THE RIGHTS OF YASSER

President Obama went to Denmark and attempted to persuade the Olympic committee to give the 2016 Olympics to Chicago. Alas, the feud between the world Olympic committee and the US still runs deep and for that and perhaps many other reasons even though the President did his best for his country, he failed to bring back the Olympics. Naturally, all patriotic Americans wished him well and feel let down for the country. Then there are the "Palestinian patriots" the Yasser Arafat's of the world who (as former Israeli Prime Minister said) hate others more than they love theor own. You want an example? Its on film all over the internet and cable. The right wing think tank called "Americans for prosperity" burst into wild applause when the news broke that Obama lost the bid for Chicago. If George Bush or Dick Cheney had tried to charm the Olympic committee they would have been all for it. So, are all patriotic Americans disappointed by the Olympics? We would say yes. These happy right wingers are just the Yasser patriots.

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ADHERING TO THE LETTER(MAN) OF THE LAW

By now everyone knows that David Letterman was the victim of an extortion plot and had a number of involvements with staffers on his show going back some years. This is obviously not ideal behaviour but some differences should be noted from many perceptions. 1. Apparently all the affairs were consensual. 2. It was Letterman that broke them off as the young ladies wanted to keep things going. 3. All these affairs took place before he was married. Perhaps it hurt his wife to know about this and we cannot presume to judge their relationship during these other relationships but its worth noting that under the letter(man) of the law hes done nothing illegal or felonious. Annoying, fascinating, being literally a car wreck of a scene, but not illegal.

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THE (UN)QUESTIONABLE CLARENCE THOMAS

It was reported that on the first day of this Supreme Court, new Justice Sonia Sotomayor asked more questions in the course of just over an hour than Justice Thomas asked over the course of several years. What does it take to have a questioning inquisitive mind? 3 Things; 1. You must be questioning 2. You must be inquisitive and 3. You must have a mind. Thus we have the UNquestionable Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

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CONSERVAPEDIA DOT CON

Conservapedia is apparently a conservative version based on wikipedia to explain the "liberal bias" in the Bible. Kudos to Stephen Colbert who once again pointed out the website and such accuracies as honing in on "Jesus fed the poor", "the meek shall inherit the earth", and others. Its so unfortunate that so many of these websites end with .com when it really should be .con based on its content. They will be a steady source of information and laughter, we are not sure in which order.

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NOBEL PEACE/CONFLICT PRIZE

President Obama has won the Nobel peace prize for 2009, and given that 9 is about the number of months he has been in office...its quite a surprise. He certainly has changed the tenor of negotiations, and he certainly has goals that would more than qualify for such recognition. Commentator Bob Schieffer believes that this will ultimately cause Obama more grief, and allow the right wing to go nuts (something they never do...). As he receives the peace prize he will be ordering between 10,000 and 40,000 more troops into Afghanistan, a smart move as we have seen that these military surges have produced very tangible results in Iraq. Perhaps this is just Europe hating George W. Bush, perhaps this is some kind of emotional bribe (speaking of bribes, we did very well bribing leaders in Iraq) but in the meantime there will be conflict on the peace prize.

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