Sunday, February 14, 2010

OFF HAND, THIRD HAND, ANOTHER PRESUMPTION UP IN SMOKE

The latest medical documentation of the harms of cigarettes is that there is first hand smoke when you smoke it, second hand smoke when you are next to someone smoking it , and now a thing called third hand smoke, which means the absorption into the carpets, and fabrics around the house. And the most in danger are the kids. This could counter obesity, because the French supposedly keep lean by smoking a lot. But, we would like to think there is a better way like diet and exercise. We will say again at Faux News we feel the cigarette labels are all wrong. Here is the right one. If you follow instructions you die in agony. If that doesn’t bring a nervous smile from the puffs of us, what would?

No comments:

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

The Faux News Network Principles

A) We distort, you abide

B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to

C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths

D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001

E) We shoot from the flip

F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain

G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know

H) The director’s board has a whim of irony

I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us

J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request

K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based

L) Good news parody makes for good news parity

M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News