NEW YEAR FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY ON WEDNESDAY

It is indeed a sad thing for relationships, especially family ones, when someone is totally and accurately able to assess when they have been treated with a lack of respect but are just as unable to recognize when its time for the resentment to end.

“MAMMA HE HIT ME BACK”

I’ll never forget that cry, it was issued by a boyhood friend and the “he” in his complaint was me. What had happened is probably evident; my “friend” had hit me, (who can remember what we were fighting about) and I immediately swatted him back with intentional force. There was no great fallout and as kids did and do we went on and forgot. What’s happening in the Gaza strip, alas, is a grown up version of my boyhood incident with of course real human fallout. For days, Hamas which doesn’t recognize Israel’s right to exist but does recognize its right to take rocket fire broke the cease fire and with said rockets attacked Israel. Then Israel of course, finally hit back in response to conduct which has even been condemned by the Palestinian Authority. That would be like Fox news questioning the conservatives judgment (not that they ever would) for pushing Sarah Palin on John McCain as the VP nominee. There’s a lot to play out here but yes Hamas you will get hit back, the operative word being “back” and there simply must be a translation for that in your dialogue. And again regarding the word “back” when Israel doesn’t have to watch hers, you know from her history you won’t have to watch yours.

A TAXING FAUX FACTOID

It turns out that players sports agents are limited by the various players associations as to what percentage of an athletes contract they are allowed to receive. In baseball the amount is 3% of their clients renumeration but they can obviously have many athletes under contract while the player has only him (or her) self and the limited window that comes with the territory. 3% of a (possible) Manny Ramirez contract of say 21 million dollars a year for 3 years would net his agent Scott Boras a tidy $630,000 per year but of course under Mr. Obama's tax plan Mr. Boras might have to pay more taxes. But, and its an important but, in no other country do as many athletes get paid a fraction of what those playing for US sports teams do. So could any taxation system be more fairer? or as Irving Berlin (composer; G-d bless America) maintained nothing is more patriotic than paying your taxes the very subject of a song he wrote during earliest and darkest days of WWII. And since Sarah Palin is not Vice President we're allowed to appreciate not only the great engine of government which has made America run but the necessity of fuel to that end.

A sporting P.S. We at the Faux predicted that the Yankees would not get what they wanted done in the off season beginning with the signing of C.C. Sabathia. We were R O N G (wrong) and they went further with signing A.J. Burnett and the gifted Mark Teixeira...Yankees fans have to be pleased. By the way, if your spelling and scoring at home the way to remember the correct spelling of the Yankees new first baseman is in both syllables, I before E except for position "3".

LEARNIN' ABOUT SPEAKIN' PROFESSOR PALIN'

There are many many Americans of influence, who absolutely believe we, make that they, need Sarah Palin to remain front and (well, right of) center on the national political scene. But we'll talk about late night TV and Comedy Central news programs later on. But let us say, we at the Faux appreciate not only Ms. Palins approach to politics in general, but the way she handles the English language and for that matter the alphabet itself. One specific example comes to mind. When she was asked about running in 2012, she said that seems "like years away." You think? Then there's her approach to the alphabet, particularly the rather common syllable "ing." When she's speakin' or addressin', or dare we say it (if she ever does again) interviewin', she doesn't seem partial to using her "g's," but we have a theory that she's saving her "g's" for some reason. Is it because she plans to use many in repeating GOP, GOP, GOP, or invoking G-d as the reason she'll run again? Maybe she's planning to hire as a political advisor G. Gordon Liddy and doesn't want to give it away. Aw gee, we'll see.

BEEN BIDEN HIS TIME

What has Vice President-elect Joe Biden been doing since election night? It turns out quite a bit. He's "been in the room for every major appointment" the President-elect has made, and believably says they have been in agreement. And almost every major source credits him with helping bring Hillary Clinton into the fold as the future Secretary of State.
He stands by his opinion that Dick Cheney may (may?) be among the most dangerous of Vice Presidents ever. Plus, as Chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee he can knowledgeably question/dismiss Cheney's assertions tat when the Democrats know "what we know they will come around" regarding what we've done interrogating prisoners in Guantanamo et al. Mr. Biden correctly concludes as do all our intelligent agency experts that Guantanamo and the like have been, are, and will be the greatest recruiting tool anti American terrorists have going for them. Will Cheney get criminally prosecuted, in this world at least, Joe Biden obviously can't answer yet. But the new administration has a lot more timely economic matters on their plate and even those who loathe Cheney know its best to be (we'll say it again) "biden their time". Oh, and Vice President-elect Biden hasn't been making any noteworthy verbal gaffes at all recently, and should he do so only our senses of humor or syntax will get tortured.

FOR VETERANS AFFAIRS, A VETERAN WHO FOUGHT BUSH AND RUMSFELD WITH THE TRUTH

In 2003 before a senate panel, then Army Chief of Staff General Eric Shinseki made a fatal (career-wise) decision when answering questions. That is he told the Bush administration and Donald Rumsfeld what they didn't want to hear. His flimsy excuse was that he happened to be telling the truth. The question was how many soldiers would he need to effectively occupy a post-war Iraq and his answer was "Something on the order of several hundred thousand would be required." History has proven him correct. To Rumsfeld this made him unacceptable and rumors of his early (forced) retirement were leaked and he became effectively a lame duck due to the bunch of quacks who ran this war. Smart, intelligent, and accurate, that is what President Elect Obama seems to want and thus his appointment.

We are beginning to appreciate just how much material Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and company supplied us with, and in news of the Faux sense, we'll miss them.

DARWINISM, THE OPIATE OF THE (RIGHT) MASSES

Senators Bunning, Corker, Selby et al always proclaim their opposition to evolution, just ask them and their evangelical base. No siree, we’re not descended from any baboons or monkeys (it may be sea urchins), their here to tell ya’. They don’t believe in that their Darwinism, you betcha; and their always consistent, well almost always. Because when it comes to Darwinism of a capitalist kind…that they believe in. They will not allow a bailout for the automakers, no matter how many good peoples lives get wrecked in the bargain. If a company “deserves” to fail they say let it, survival of the fittest. The big three automakers must have deserved to fail if they weren’t “intelligently designed”, sorry, we couldn’t help it. We’ll give them this; such a theory applied politically would certainly explain the recent election trends of the Republican party and we hope future ones.

WHEN THERE WAS A WILL, THERE WAS A WAY, SAYS WILL, BY THE WAY

Regarding the automaker bailout, this week's "By the Way" award goes to conservative pundit George Will on "This Week With George Stephanopoulos." He allowed (he never states he was wrong, way wrong) that the 1979 Chrysler bailout that he and the conservative community condemned Jimmy Carter et al for not only worked but get this: it actually made the government money. How bad was Jimmy Carter as a leader? Americans don't even realize that some of what he did politically worked, as did the Americans on the Chrysler assembly line.

MAD ABOUT MADOFF

50 billion dollars is a lot to make go away even in the papa of all Ponzi schemes, but that's what Bernie Madoff has apparently done. The question for his investors who got duped is not only what to do but what to tell. Such an involvement will not go down on many "maven's" resumes. We at the Faux have 2 predictions. First, Mr. Madoff's victims won't see virtually any of their money ever again. And second, on some YouTube, MySpace or elsewhere a full and complete list of all the financial damage will appear and make those names again want to disappear. One whimsical thought which given Madoff's area of concentration probably didn't happen, we wish he had duped a real life Tony Soprano, than to plagiarize ourselves...he too would be sleeping with the Gefilte fishes.

THE REAL MCCAIN

Fair is fair. 46% of the American electorate voted for John McCain and his is a voice that should still be heard. He appeared this past week on "This Week" and he looked great. Really, this time around his calm voice actually sounds calm. The RNC on the other hand is renewing attacks on the President-elect for not focusing on the Blagojevich matter more fully. Senator McCain logically says that with all due respect to the RNC, "let's concentrate on where the concentration of our problems lay, in the economy." He expects to be part, sometimes, of the senate opposition, that emphasizes it will be the "loyal opposition." McCain sounds very real, unlike when he was running for President and people in the RNC were running him. And listening to his now qualified support of Sarah Palin as a future Presidential candidate we're wondering just how much of that idea was actually his.

DRILL BABY DRILL

If nothing succeeds like success then nothing prepares like preparation and that's exactly what the city that never sleeps is doing. Namely they're not sleeping. That's right, NYC is doing anti-terrorist drills, a mock exercise including re-enactments, rescues, arrests and casualty aid. Luxury hotels most definitely are (as they were in Mumbai) likely targets. Kudos to NYC police commissioner Ray Kelly for leading the way, and in a way that makes sense, deciding to drill, baby, drill.

IF IT AINT BROKERED?...

There is a definite similarity between what brokers and airplane pilots do, but there is an eerie difference as well. Your airplane pilot is figuratively and actually in the plane with you...your broker is not.

SOME (MORE?) POLITICAL ILL IN ILL.

While the NY Yankees were failing (at least as of Tuesday) to financially induce pitcher C.C. Sabathia to sign with them, another far less legitimate pitch was being made. That was regrettably by Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich pronounced according to the NY Times Bluh-GOY-uh-vich, whose middle initial maybe "R" but his political affiliation is "D" as in Democrat. As is now widely known Blagojevich was scheming to sell the US Senate being vacated by President-elect Barack Obama. Let's be clear here, even if the "clear channels" bunch proves not to be, no one, but no one including the FBI investigators armed with stacks of evidence and hours of tapped tapes is even hinting that Mr. Obama had even the slightest bit of culpability, much less knowledge of what was going on here. In fact it is known in Chicago circles that Mr. Obama has long been estranged from Mr. Blagojevich.
Briefly, the plot the Governor had hatched involved many anticipated nest eggs including getting millions in bribes, eventually a non-profit funded (in his mind, in his scheme) by such people as Warren Buffett and Bill Gates, and revenge against reporters who had criticized him in the bargain. While millions or more words are sure to be sent and spoken on this matter, we at the Faux hope that complete truths will be the norm rather than just complete sentences. We would hope they would emphasize the fact that to repeat this scandal has nothing whatsoever to do with our President-elect and that in fact Democrat Blagojevich replaced a disgraced Republican Governor George Ryan. Mr. Ryan's claim to fame, or should we say infame, is that he is now in prison for racketeering and federal fraud. This prison (we're guessing) and even maybe his cell, has room for a new roommate.

WE PLAGIARIZE IN ADVANCE AGAIN; THIS TIME IN THE NY TIMES

Most if not all of you loyal Fauxvians know that since our inception (when was that?) we have compared President GW Bush to another stubborn, folksy aristocratic commander, Captain Edmund John Smith. In review, Captain Smith was a self-assured, from the gut leader whose writing contained the phrase "I never met an obstacle I couldn't personally overcome." Alas, he was also a bit lazy and when he wasn't at his best he wanted his rest and got it, no matter what the circumstances. This lead to his leaving the bridge of his ship despite reports they were in an ice zone and leaving a novice on watch. His ship of course was the Titanic, bad job reviews followed. So when this past Sunday the NY Times featured a cartoon by Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Journal Constitution we were "caught again," plagiarizing again. What is depicted is a ship named the "Bush Presidency" illustrated very much like the Titanic, sinking in ice filled waters. At the front of the now doomed vertical craft is Mr. Bush in a captains outfit proclaiming his regret that the iceberg chose collision. It stopped short of saying if we don't keep shopping the iceberg wins.
Link: http://projects.ajc.com/gallery/view/opinion/luckovichdec08/

IN MEMORY OF RIVKA AND GAVRIEL HOLTZBERG

In India, the world's largest democracy (yes that's right), it became very unsafe for the first time in a long time. For the first time in virtually any time it became unsafe to be Jewish in India. The Chabad center in Bombay it seems was one of the specific targets of the terrorists and a number at the Jewish center there were wantonly murdered including Rivka and Gavriel (known to his friends as "Gabby") Holtzberg. They left behind a two-year old son who will never know his wonderful special parents. He is not and will never be alone however because his community, or should we say communities of Jews, the Chabad group to name one, will be there for him. We at the Faux grieve for the Holtzberg family and we encourage you to donate to help support them at www.chabadindia.org

Joe's Lost-er Man?

Who can forget, whatever candidate you chose, “Independent Democrat” Joe Liberman's non stop presence along side of , behind, and in the ear of (as in to help with the necessary Sunni Shiite distinctions, for one thing) GOP candidate John McCain. Then the American people spoke and everyone waited for the Democratic leadership to have the pleasure of stripping Ole Joe of his cherished Homeland Security Chairmanship. The precedent was there wasn’t it, didn’t George W Bush with almost a 1 ½ % victory margin in 2004 say, “I’ve got political capital and I’m going to spend it”, although we had no idea at the time just how sub prime his ‘capital’ would be. But lo, beyond the Democrats leadership was the Democratic leader, President elect Barack Obama who let it be known he wanted Senator Lieberman to keep his post. This was not “no drama”. Obama, but was instead “a more mellow drama” Obama. And Joe Lieberman should in the name of common sense have found his way and from now on be the best team player he can possibly be. Think about it Ole Joe, if you’d been a Republican who crossed President Bush, you’d have been sleeping with the gefilte fishes.

AM Radio, PM Mood, Something to Be Thankful For

The mood of Rush, Bill O and Sean is of course bleak those days. We’re not sure how people who’ve lived off an anti-Semitic under tone sit Shiva politically but they’ve still got (almost) two months of cherishing President Bush, and not having to fear not having the use of fear itself. One of their most often used much devices to justify a reversal of the Constitution at “24” hours notice (yes, Jack Bauer is back) is to quote the imminent supreme court justice Robert Jackson as follows “the Bill of Rights is not a suicide pact”. On being fair and balanced we wonder if they’ll remember (as their “war on Christmas season approaches) another thought from a supreme justice, “if we don’t have the freedom of irreligion, then we don’t have freedom of religion” which seems quite relevent. Go know, the source of this wisdom is that very same gentleman, Robert Jackson; aren’t facts fun. And speaking of religious freedom that is one of the things we should truly be most thankful for at this Thanksgiving time.

SO YOUR NEW DOCTOR SAID "I DON'T BELIEVE IN MEDICINE"

Yeah, imagine that. Your old doctor retires and your new one to whom you have been referred says by the way he doesn't really believe in medicine. At least that's what he says when he introduces himself to you. Or say your airplane pilot doesn't believe in flight plans, FAA bulletins, or updated weather reports. How about if the detective trying to track down the person who robbed your irreplaceable belongings doesn't believe in forensics or databases concerning similar crimes. And even more chilling, say you need emergency surgery and the on-call surgeon doesn't like to spend lots of time reading the latest medical journals or improved techniques on blood clotting or other possible complications. No, this medical practitioner prefers to operate on instinct. Feel better and...safer yet? No huh, so why did we so uncritically accept Ronald Reagan's "government is the problem" or the "fuzzy math" (fuzzy to him obviously) disclaimer of G W. Bush regarding economic matters, so tranquilly. No one can be any good at a profession in which they don't believe so lets see just what President-elect Obama can do, but wait on judging him until hes had the chance to actually do it. Since the 2 aforementioned presidents, R.R. and W, along with Bush Sr. combine to produce over 85% of the total debt incurred in our history and none of them much liked government, we've got 2 questions. First, can anyone doubt these supposed "fiscal conservatives" weren't very traditionally conservative or very fiscal for that matter, and second, if they disliked the idea of government why the f&%k did they run?

WISE WIZARD OF THE WEEK AWARD

This goes by acclamation to Northern Reb for his precinct prediction of Mr. Obama getting 338 electoral votes was by far the closest of any of our pundits. And for a long time that was his exact total. Mr. Obama's performance exceeded that number of course, but N. Reb's performance far outdid that of Ray S. T. Coadd, C. A. Sandras, and of course Norman who was at once so very certain and so very wrong.

FAUXNEWS; THE AFTERMATH

It's obvious America has spoken at the ballot box and how; the plurality achieved by President-Elect Barack Obama is greater than both of George W. Bush's victories combined. And it appears when the count is complete you could add Bill Clinton's re-election margin his second time around and Mr. Obama's advantage would still be more. We are working on some post election features which may become regular so what may follow over the next few days is our trial run.

ELECTION PREDICTIONS

Norman;
Obama loses with 268 electoral votes and losing another 70 to states with voting machines, recounts etc. Supreme court insists on a revote. When Mr. McCain wins, please please don't aggrevate him. Just because your blood pressure is up don't get his up, need incentive? consider this phrase...President Sarah Palin.

Raymond S.T. Coadd;
Thanks to an extreme amount of support from right wing Jews McCain wins every swing state by .0004 percent. McCain loses popular vote by 8 million. To ensure further such “success” the Republicans fund a new organization called “Rabbis for Jews for Jesus” with the motto “better the anti-semite you know than the anti semite you don’t”.

Charles A. Sandras;
Obama wins after a 60 day recount due to challenges involving among other things ACORN. For those not familiar with ACORN’s problems, homeless people given vote list to fill out completed one list with the names Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. The republicans base their protest on 2 factors. 1. Sexism because Minny Mouse and Daizy Duck were not included and 2. The notorious rightwing Disney would have only republican characters. The democrats finally win believe it or not when supreme court justice Scalia changes his vote due to family values issues upon learning that both Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck plan to come to the polls as usual not wearing pants.

Northern Reb;
Obama wins with 300 electoral votes. Ohio goes to McCain; Florida and Pennsylvania to Obama. McCain goes back to denouncing Falwell and Palin immediately announces a 2012 run. She hires Karl Rove as her manager.

APPROVING THE MAN WITH SOMETHING TO PROVE

With all the high-flying political rhetoric amidst the backdrop of our low flying stock market, focus on Iran-and the threat it poses to the middle east, particularly Israel-has gone into the background. Just this past month Israel approached our country seeking our approval as it were to pre-emptively strike Iran should the situation require. The Bush administration gave a flat out "no" and it goes without saying that a disapproving United States pressures Israel on many levels. Mr. Bush's reasons are his own-well it seems they always are, but among the factors here is that he may well feel since he had so long talked the talk about loving/supporting/courting (take your pick) of Jews and Israel and that he no longer needs their votes, he has nothing to prove. And therein lies the rub and the special way in which Barack Hussein Obama, the man with something to prove, may be the best thing for Israel, ever. Consider the very Conservative publication Ha'aretz in Israel-there's this idea Obama may well be one of the best if not the best friend Israel has ever had in the White House.

Let's review some quick history: Harry Truman, a Democrat we should remind the Republicans who claim to revere him, recognized Israel and was followed into office by Dwight D. Eisenhower. President "Ike" gave Israel his sympathy (perhaps) but nothing else, and to be brutally frank, sympathy is hard to lock and load. Then came JFK, whose father Joe in the words of so many in that time was not unsympathetic to a lot of the "ambiance" of Nazi Germany, to put it politely. So then JFK had something to prove, and that he did, sending Israel the arms she would eventually need in the 1967 Six Day War, need as in to survive.

To make a very long story just a bit more concise later came Nixon, that old "commie baiter" himself. But it was he who thus could and did choose to open relations with communist China. On point it was a Democrat, President Bill Clinton, who would engineer the greatest welfare reform, far more to the center than many would have predicted in his presidency. So worry not fearful Jews, heed the words of Ha'aretz, often called the "Fox News of Israel" which mentioned the Kennedys (not Nixon or Clinton) as making such a point, namely that Barack Middle Name Hussein Obama, the man with something to prove, will prove it to Israel's benefit. If you need further hints, it's known that many Arab states, specifically Saudi Arabia, are very un-thrilled at the prospect of an Obama presidency. Finally think, really think of what men like our current President Bush who feel they have nothing to prove regarding Israel have done outside of rhetoric. It took Mr. Bush over seven years to even visit Israel, and this past summer he forbid her to take any preemptive action against Iran should a nuclear strike seem imminent. Right, he doesn't have to help Israel, just profess his love, because he's the man with nothing to prove.

BEWARE OF THOSE REPUBLICAN SOCIALISTS

It takes a desperate man to sing a desperate song and in the last days of this campaign we find the socialist tune that the McCain bunch is singing about Barack Obama is hard on the ears as well as the mind. We are told and retold that Mr. McCain has a deep admiration for Theodore Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan and that they are in fact his personal role models. We would hope then that at some point Mr. McCain learns their actual views. That's because T.R. was one of the first passionate advocates of the progressive income tax (wealth redistribution) and R.R. originated the earned income tax credit (tax welfare?) to people making low incomes. Were these men socialists? According to McCain and Palin the answer would be yes if it serves them politically and if you take a fair and balanced look, ideologically Presidents Theodore Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan are socialists or maybe even Marxists compared to the current Republican ticket.

MAVERICK UPDATED

Circa 1960 there was a TV western show named “Maverick” about a gambler in the old west starring the gifted actor James Garner. There was poker, lovely ladies, gunfire and some fun plots, and our hero Brett Maverick of course survived it all. But most of all, the Maverick then had a warm heart and was never, ever mean. Times have changed.
MAVERICK
Who is the tall, dark stranger there? Maverick is the name. Ridin' the trail to who knows where, Luck is his companion, Gamblin' is his game. Smooth as the handle on a gun. Maverick is the name. Wild as the wind in Oregon, Blowin' up a canyon, Easier to tame. Riverboat, ring your bell, Fare thee well, Annabel. Luck is the lady that he loves the best. Natchez to New Orleans Livin on jacks and queens Maverick is a legend of the west. Riverboat, ring your bell, Fare thee well, Annabel. Luck is the lady that he loves the best. Natchez to New Orleans Livin on jacks and queens Maverick is a legend of the west. Maverick is a legend of the west.

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FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE-EARLY SEPTEMBER 2008 I never liked this guy, I mean really he was against our tax cuts, said the war in Iraq would be difficult if it worked at all, never wanted to drill and even said (in his 2000 life) that if we repealed Roe vs. Wade many American teenagers would face unsafe abortions. Well, he has changed, but I just don't know. He's saying (not doing of course) all the right things, that he's against lobbyists (only 49 are on his campaign staff), and if he doesn't get self serve cred with Carly Fiorina, when does he? Oh, she was actually fired by Hewlett-Packard as chief executive but the stock was only down 50% from when she started; haven't these shareholders ever heard of the glass (ceiling?) half full? Anyway, Ms. Fiorina got a $42 million severance for herself-so she understands Republican business principles. So I guess that rebel bit of his will work, remember if you fool some of the people all of the time (sorry Lincoln you never were our type of Republican), -- oh my gosh he's just appointed Sarah Palin as his VP. Let me check, yes she's more religious and less scientific that Dub, this might just work with the voters and fool enough women too. Maybe he can really pull off that "Maverick" thing, if we just say it long enough and loud enough, yawn and...a channel with old westerns starring James Garner begins to play as Karl drifts off into wish and song...

Who is the false talk changer there
Maverick is his claim
Rewritin' himself to who knows where
A faith based veep companion
Earmarks are her game

Ruthless on how the truth is spun
Maverick is his claim
To bend to the base that must be won
Fear’s our best companion
Mock O’s middle name

Stock exchange ring your bell
The fundamentals all are well
With luck we can either bribe or dupe the rest
Mac blew off New Orleans
While living on Cindy's means
So Maverick as a legend serves him best
Yes Maverick as a legend serves him best

Stock exchange ring your bell
Having 8 digs is swell
Tough luck to those who have one home at best
Straight talk's a long lost dream
with Palin his "no thanks" queen
So maverick as a legend serves him best
Yes maverick as a legend serves him best

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

There may be few more important decisions for an individual than weighing relief of the moment versus satisfaction over time.

FOR THE "RIGHT" TO WIN, STOP THE RIGHT TO VOTE

They are at it again in Ohio among other places, they being the "patriotic" Republican party which loves America so much that it just doesn't want too many of us to vote. It's no secret that in the last few decades, if not longer, the Republicans have wished (some say prayed) for bad weather and bad voter turnout, while the Democrats have hoped for just the opposite. But since controlling the weather prayer wise or otherwise, the G.O.P. has tried to do it court wise, or in our point of view court-wise guy. Who can forget the "felonless" of Florida in 2000 which may have helped change the history of this country? More recently they tried and failed in a split the electoral vote scam in California, so now (some of) their current focus is on suppressing voters in Ohio and Michigan. In Ohio, their first attempt which the Supreme Court denied focused on "inconsistencies" in voter roles including such threats to Democracy as typo's and hyphens involving just a few individuals so they, the Republicans, naturally sought to challenge the right to vote of many thousands of citizens. This of course was done in Democratic districts. In Michigan they really put the compassionate conservatism (they don't really try and sell that crap anymore, huh) by arguing that those who had had their homes foreclosed shouldn't be allowed to vote since they no longer had an official address.
We are sure in other states, and in other ways right up until the polls close on November 4th and maybe after in recounts, the righteous right that so loves America will continue to mess with the right of Americans to vote.
Still there is the chance that Mr. Obama might just win, and maybe this one time Republican die hearts should think beyond the moment and put their country and their own posterity first. That noted, we say to the voter suppression, regression, and aggression bunch, please for the sake of your party and your legacy take something into account. Take into account that while you are perceived by so much of America to have (inadvertently?) grabbed the 2000 election, and may well have (accidentally?) benefited from the Diebold machined on Ohio in the 2004 election you would have to outright heist this one in 2008. You wouldn't then have a very supportive America or for that matter a very proud posterity. So look one time in the mirror as you reflect on history.

FOR THE DEMOCRATIC STRATEGISTS; PLEASE STEAL THESE IDEAS

1. Straight ticket express vote Democrats only, its our only chance...
2. Register, register, register...remember they won't let you win a close one
3. Palin/Buchanan, tomorrow belongs to them?
4. To Palin; do you believe in science of evolution and immunology, and the vaccines that results from that belief? And are your children vaccinated?
5. If we think that the media is hard on McCain for his age or Palin for her gender, what makes us think that global challenges can be graded on a curve?
6. They can grouse about our media but I doubt genocidal maniacs of Darfur, the psychotic Vladimir Putin, or the murderous Osama Bin Laden will ease up accordingly.

ON THIS LAWN, (TWO) SIGNS OF THE TIMES

I just drove past a "For Sale" sign in front of a home, with another sign, should we say of our times (and mindset for that matter.) A call to the realtor confirmed it's been listed since this past summer and has some very unique conveniences even considering the affluent community in which it's located. Not that we are into real estate, but they are now selling (they hope) at a price of at least 20% less than listed and this is now being available in less than three months of a listing. It's an unfortunate but hardly atypical American story and so is the political dynamic at work within that property owners heart and mind. I'll explain; in many a poli-sci class (at least that's where I heard it) they tell a story of a farmer in 1936 who was being asked about the upcoming election, with FDR running for his second term. This man of the land was decisive, pointing out that in 1932, the time of the last election he was virtually busted and local services, power etc. in the Great Depression were barely functional. By 1936 of course the New Deal TVA et al had primed the pump and the greatest economic recovery this country has ever achieved, or had to achieve was well underway and the man from Tennessee recognized it, in a unique (for some) plain folk American way. He said in 1932 he'd voted Republican and things had gotten so much better that he had to vote Republican again. Back to the lawn of the house desperate to be sold, next to the realtors sign is a McCain/Palin poster. I hope the reason for that sign of the times isn't that in the last election they voted Democratic and property values plummeted since, so they won't do that again.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

If George Bush then and Sarah Palin now have shown us anything, its that of these three seemingly annoying traits; cutesiness, smugness, and folksiness, only the first two are really annoying. The third is downright dangerous.

In Character Assassination by Assignation One Size Fits All

Good news America, your greatest concerns should not be about the economy and a melting down Wall Street. Nor should they be about the growing influence of the Taliban in Afghanistan or Iraq. Don’t worry a hoot about foreclosures or runs on banks or even global warming for that matter (especially the causes of it, how important could these be), or even if you’ll be able to afford health care, especially if Mr. McCain is elected. No, the most important thing in the last month of this more than important election is a referendum on Mr. Obama’s character. In other words an all out character attack, one promise for change we expect Mr. McCain to keep.

Really, isn’t this where the focus should lie, on radicals from the sixties with whom Mr. Obama has been seen now and then (the last time being five years ago at a charity fund raiser), or a much too mouthy preacher. So then, after failing to sell the country on the importance of their stories, Mr. McCain and Governor Palin still fail to grasp it’s about your stories (and struggles) out there across America. Thus, they’ve decided to focus the election campaign on Mr. Obama’s story, their version.
So we can rest easy that the big issues are all under control as John McCain (like recently about Wall Street) goes out of control, and to support all this is a documentary by Sean Hannity. A documentary by Sean Hannity; that’s like a benign aneurysm, friendly fire or an amicable divorce, but this past Sunday on Fox News (another oxymoron) he did it again.

In a program devoted to character assassination by association (even they at Fox can’t come up with Mr. Obama’s deeds to match their accusations), they said he’d been “training for a radical over throw of the government” as a community organizer. No proof of that of course, but we’d certainly support anyone who will work for the overthrow of Fox News. But back to the program, Mr. Hannity’s figure of authority is a man named Andy Martin, a conservative writer who is generally given “credit” for having begun the campaign that Barack OBama is a Muslim, this after their complaints about the character of his protestant minister, hmmm. But in the words of journalist Jim Ruttenberg, “Mr. Martin was careful not to present his theories about Mr. Obama as proven fact”. Great, reminds you fauxvians we hope of one of our sayings that “knowledge is good and facts are okay too”. A final bit about Mr. Martin; in 1996 he proved too right wing extreme for even the Republican Party in Florida (this is possible?). Why, because they received actual documents from his attempt to gain a congressional seat in Connecticut (he’s one of ours, ouch) and personally gave as the purpose of one of his political committees as “to eliminate Jew power in America and impeach the judges of the US Court Appeals in New York City.” Mr. Martin denies he has anti-Semitic feelings, just like were sure he doesn’t have any anti-Muslim feelings; great plan Sean, if you folks couldn’t get the Jews, get the Muslims, even if you have to make them up.

TO THE "STIMULATED" JOHN MCCAIN; LEARN FROM BOTH ROOSEVELTS

On "This Week With..." John McCain decries the system of earmarks but says he probably would have voted for them after being against them. He wouldn't approve the stimulus package until he read it, oh...but when he was given the preliminary plan last Monday (it was a whole three pages) by Tuesday evening he “hadn't had a chance” to read it. He alleges one of the crucial ongoing problems is the decline of home prices, and he may just face nine times the problem with that many homes.

Now by the way he's a "Teddy Roosevelt Republican" who will do "what little I can," and he "won't claim a bit of credit." A number of Congressional insiders from both parties agree that would be an accurate assessment of his actual contributions. The fact is that this crisis is what Warren Buffett has called "a financial Pearl Harbor," but what's really killing the high-rolling, all the time lower tax, Bush-booster bunch are several things. First, it's obvious there will need to be more regulation of financial institutions in the foreseeable future. Second, the system of giving CEOs excessive bonuses and stock rewards for what is essentially failure in performance is essentially a failure itself. And third, regarding many more decisions with which they will have to live, the conservative theorists will have to admit in private what they are simply not honest enough to do publicly. And that is that on so many levels FDR was so much more evolved on such crises (pardon the reference to evolution) than all those who’ve spent their intellectual careers trying to undo and discredit his legacy.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

When trying to restore frayed relationships (particularly in the family), take a breath, have a plan and work out a script. And trust your plan as opposed to your instinct which is probably what caused many of the problems in the first place.

MAVERICK

Who is the tall, dark stranger there? Maverick is the name. Ridin' the trail to who knows where, Luck is his companion, Gamblin' is his game. Smooth as the handle on a gun. Maverick is the name. Wild as the wind in Oregon, Blowin' up a canyon, Easier to tame. Riverboat, ring your bell, Fare thee well, Annabel. Luck is the lady that he loves the best. Natchez to New Orleans Livin on jacks and queens Maverick is a legend of the west. Riverboat, ring your bell, Fare thee well, Annabel. Luck is the lady that he loves the best. Natchez to New Orleans Livin on jacks and queens Maverick is a legend of the west. Maverick is a legend of the west.

------------------------------------

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE-EARLY SEPTEMBER 2008 I never liked this guy, I mean really he was against our tax cuts, said the war in Iraq would be difficult if it worked at all, never wanted to drill and even said (in his 2000 life) that if we repealed Roe vs. Wade many American teenagers would face unsafe abortions. Well, he has changed, but I just don't know. He's saying (not doing of course) all the right things, that he's against lobbyists (only 49 are on his campaign staff), and if he doesn't get self serve cred with Carly Fiorina, when does he? Oh, she was actually fired by Hewlett-Packard as chief executive but the stock was only down 50% from when she started; haven't these shareholders ever heard of the glass (ceiling?) half full? Anyway, Ms. Fiorina got a $42 million severance for herself-so she understands Republican business principles. So I guess that rebel bit of his will work, remember if you fool some of the people all of the time (sorry Lincoln you never were our type of Republican), -- oh my gosh he's just appointed Sarah Palin as his VP. Let me check, yes she's more religious and less scientific that Dub, this might just work with the voters and fool enough women too. Maybe he can really pull off that "Maverick" thing, if we just say it long enough and loud enough, yawn and...a channel with old westerns starring James Garner begins to play as Karl drifts off into wish and song...

Who is the false talk changer there
Maverick is his claim
Rewritin' himself to who knows where
A faith based veep companion
Earmarks are her game

Truth's he can't handle must be spun
Maverick is his claim
To bend to the base that must be won
Fear’s our best companion
Use O’s “Muslim” name

SEC ring your bell
The fundamentals all are well
With luck we can either bribe or dupe the rest
Mac blew off New Orleans
While living on Cindy's means
So Maverick as a legend serves him best
Yes Maverick as a legend serves him best

SEC ring your bell
Having 8 digs is swell
Tough luck to those who have one home at best
Straight talk's a long lost dream
with Palin his "no thanks" queen
So maverick as a legend serves him best
Yes maverick as a legend serves him best

THE DISQUALIFIER

Be it an airline pilot steering your pane through a storm, be it a fireman or a policeman planning your rescue under perilous circumstances, be it a surgeon operating on you and confronting the unexpected or be it being a President in such times as these…brains should not be a disqualifier. For those of you so celebrating...happy new year, enjoy, prosper, and reflect.

IF SHE DOES NOT FIT THERE IS NO RESPITE

“Is he qualified to lead?” The Republicans have asked (and answered to their own satisfaction) so many times regarding Barack Obama. Under the topic of what goes around comes around, the Presidential debate on this past Friday provided a go around come around moment. After the candidates had concluded, the Vice Presidential candidates were invited by the news networks to add their thoughts. So Joe Biden came on for several minutes and answered Brian Williams questions, but where was Sarah Palin? She’d been invited to be sure, but the Republicans instead of sending the former beauty contestant into the contest sent on her behalf Mr. Congeniality. That’s right, it was Rudy Giuliani who did the vice bit for the Republicans that night, his forced and frightening grin in full flower. But that begs a more important question, the one with which we began. Never mind is Sarah Palin qualified to lead the nation should the moment arise, the Republicans don’t feel she is yet qualified to follow.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHIES

1. I am uncomfortable as a Jew agreeing or voting with people in this generation whose previous generations were pretty sure we had horns.
2. If at all possible, the lord and health permitting, you should live your life on terms such that your death provides not a single aspect of relief.

ON MAKING THE STADIUM SAFE FOR RELIGION

Two summers ago, just past my 60th birthday while watching my beloved Yankees, I left my seat for a restroom break in well, kind of a hurry. The mega-size giant cola had kicked in. As I turned to cheer for an inning-ending double play, I was stopped by a chain being thrown in front of me and when I tried to avoid that my arm was grabbed by a security guard who informed me I had to stay and "show respect," which translated into an enforced "joining with Kate Smith to sing God Bless America." Personally, I consider it a joyous obligation to pray which is by definition praising the Lord but I'll be damned if someone's going to tell me how or when. My answer was (while a policeman approached) as follows, "First, I'm sixty and so is my bladder, second I was in the armed forces when virtually all those who now use religion to influence politics were working on their multiple deferrments, and third, another thing that blesses America is the Bill of Rights. And finally, back to my bladder." People had gathered and the policeman present forged the better peace and said "I think this man should get to go to the restroom." My final rejoiner was to (hopefully) inject humor into this subject by asking "Why would we all want to join Kate Smith? The lady's been dead for over twenty years!" Most who had witnessed this chuckled, although there were one or two glowering exceptions. To be fair, since I had witnessed more than one previous such incident I was probably a bit on the ready, especially since one time it was a gentleman of around eighty who was being "held." Fortunately that time as well the uniformed policeman intervened and calmed things down. Is "God Bless America" really that crucial to our nervous post 9/11 DNA? If so why does no other professional baseball, football, basketball or hockey team seem to deem it necessary? Since Irving Berlin wrote the song in 1938 we've had Pearl Harbor with WWII to follow, the Korean War, and the Cuban Missile Crisis among other challenges, none of which made us frightened enough to try and enforce any type of group religious homage. The brutal murderers of 9/11 may have combined their treachery and our complacency to inflict personal and property damage on America, but they could never hope to destroy the essence of America, our democracy, our Constitution or our Bill of Rights. All of these exude our treasured freedom and tolerance. What concerns me is that if enough of us get frightened enough, we can do the very harm to America ourselves that those cowardly hijackers on 9/11 could never do. To Mr. Bin Laden, that may have been the whole idea.

THOSE COUNTRY FIRST REPUBLICANS

What would be an exceptional act of selflessness? The GOP uses the mantra "Country First" but is that what John McCain actually did when he decided on Sarah Palin for VP; as in that she's truly the readiest in the land to serve in his stead, ok. Is it selfless to retain the biggest tax breaks for those who have had the biggest incomes and no doubt the biggest bank accounts in America, many many of whom are McCain donors? Aside, we know Senator McCain says you have to make 5 million dollars a year to be considered rich, but that begs the question all the more. Really, isn't someone who is, and has, made that kind of money done pretty well off America and who more should give something back considering our pressured, deficit ravaged government. That is one way, a path Republicans never choose which would be putting "country first".
When Elizabeth Edwards said to John McCain referencing her battle with cancer that wasn't it wonderful that she (and he) had such great health care plans available due to their economic and political status. Mr. McCain didn't seem to think so, and bristled that he didn't have much of a health care plan in North Vietnam, as if to say he knows what truly wretched health care is. We agree Senator, and once again with deference to your service and imprisonment you seem to feel reassured that since the Republican health care plan is more compassionate than that of the North Vietnamese we should be gratified. Nah, providing better health care than that of the "Hanoi Hilton" should not get you or the Republican party kudos. Aspire to better please.
No, here is how the Republicans seem to show their selfless selves. And that is by asking us to forget about the selves they have been and what they have done after 8 years of controlling the Presidency and 6 of controlling congress; they are asking us to forget that Republicans are Republicans. if on election day the American people buy this pig and a poke, with or without lipstick we deserve what we get.

MCCAIN-PALIN FAUX FRIEND TO WOMEN MOMENT

Here is this week's McCain-Palin Faux Friend to Women Moment, and again this does not reflect the view here at the Faux.

Said about Cindy McCain, in public: "She is such a c*nt."
The source: Senator John McCain-Faux friend to women.

Aside: a Faux financial bit of speculation-Cindy McCain did make John McCain sign a prenup.

2 FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHIES

1. Sarah Palin is to women's interest as Clarence Thomas is to that of blacks.
2. Each election cycle it seems the Republicans are able to convince us, out of fear to vote for them. And after each election cycle within a frustratingly short period of time we come to realize that they were whom we should have been fearing.

AH, THE LEGEND OF SARAH PALIN

We're told that when she took over as governor of Alaska, she sold the corporate jet "on ebay and...she made a profit," the source of this being John McCain at the Republican convention. Turns out she listed it on ebay, failed to sell it, but did finally sell it privately, at a $500,000 loss. We've heard (again from John McCain) how she said "Thanks, but no thanks to the bridge to nowhere," Mr. McCain's poster child for waste in government but actually she only did so after she had been (way) for it before she was against it. Then, only after congress had informed Alaska the bridge was a no go, did she follow on board but she did “lead” in one respect, she kept the money, well over 200 million dollars. Mr. McCain also informs us that Ms. Palin isn't your typical “grab money from Washington” type, unlike, say, Barack Obama. Interestingly, as Charles Gibson also (and more truthfully) informed us, and perhaps Ms. Palin in their interview, that Alaska's federal money received came to $231.00 per person whereas Illinois, Obama's state, got federal funds equal to $22.00. That's obviously less than on tenth that of Palin's booty. And speaking of booty, what we're not told is what's in her tax return, because she hasn't released it; something to do with charging the state a per diem when she was working at home, and not reporting it as income?
The Republicans want us to be concerned that Sarah Palin may be unfairly treated in the press due to sexism (like they were really concerned for Hillary), but, do world events ever grade on a curve? Will the genocidal leaders in Darfur , the ruthless Vladimir Putin or the murderous Osama Bin Laden cut her any slack because of gender? Aside from the sure to come fake endorsement of Barack Obama by Bin Laden, this is the type of weakness they'll pounce on. So if before she's even president she's already expecting deferential treatment by our press, what about world events? Hey, if she's that weak, or Republicans think she is, and they should know, than she’s just not ready to lead. Think about it, she's not even ready to follow. And what does it say about Mr. "Country First" McCain, picking Sarah Palin as the best qualified person to be president in his stead?

TRICK OR TREAT: REPUBLICANS CLOUDING THE VOTE

Halloween stuff is overflowing on the retail shelves and that Republican spirit of trick or treat as to voter's rights is also on the scene. This fog of denial that resulted in the ballots of so many American citizens not being counted was a clear and present danger in the 2000 Florida recount, and more than likely was as well in the 2004 Ohio Presidential tally. Remember that, were the electronic voting machines of Diebold (whose CEO just happened to be George Bush's leading fundraiser in Ohio) were programmed to have no paper back up? Note, the current governor has mandated Ohio machines have paper back up this time, which has upset many Republicans (why would such a patriotic group react this way?), but the phrase "Republican voting machines" will always engender laughter among the well-informed. So now in 2008, what are, may we say it again, these honest patriotic Republicans to do to make sure just the "right" people vote? Well how about this; in the state of Virginia the local registrar incorrectly suggested to students being registered by the Obama campaign that there would be "dire possibilities" for such students who registered to vote at Virginia Tech rather than in their home towns. In not one but two such releases of misinformation the local authorities said that their registration (in the hotly contested state of Virginia) might cause loss of scholarships or health care. A classy bunch, huh? Of course once this attempt at voter intimidation was challenged by civil rights lawyers, the county registrar immediately scaled back the threats and nonsense, for now. As soon as they can think of another avenue to steal or impede the electoral process, especially among minorities, the elderly and the young, the Republican right will no doubt deny or at least attempt to deny their rights. At least, dear readers, you feel you can be thankful that there's not Pat Buchanan running in this year's Florida ballot...well kinda sorta. That’s because one of Pat Buchanan's best and most active boosters and fundraisers over the years, and these are his own words and thoughts, is one Sarah Palin, who is running in every state and will put the Pat Buchanan philosophy demographically closer to the presidency than it's ever been. So vote you young people, vote and remember you can win this thing, but they will never let you win a close one.

IS IT IMPORTANT AND IS IT KOSHER ALL THIS TALK ABOUT PIGS?

Barack Obama made a remark about a pig being the same with or without lipstick (a bit of logic which actually does bring home the bacon, sorry) and that, is something that the media, at least those on AM radio assure us, is important. That the McCain campaign is committed to either ignore or work against legislation which guarantees equal pay for equal work for women, is unimportant. The Republican "defense" of Sarah Palin is important, but their zero rating by Planned Parenthood, to which a quarter of all American women will turn to in their lifetime is unimportant. That the Democrats may have inadvertently insulted women is important, but that Senator McCain (he is the Republican candidate after all) has used the word c*nt, and trollope in public to describe women, well we should say a particular woman is unimportant. Well...the woman, the particular woman he was describing was Cindy McCain, which down the road if she has a good prenup (and we at the Faux are betting she does) may prove to be really, really important, to John McCain anyway. Oh, under the topic of facts being okay there were 2 other politicians who in 2004 and 2007 used the pig and lipstick expression on a public forum; that would be Dick Cheney and John McCain, and emulating the Bush/Cheney team. And that folks, you know in your heart is important.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

In their search for "divine" facts many miss the most earthly of truths, that in what Americans fear, want and need, we are so remarkably alike.

JOHN MCCAIN ON THE WAY TO A 30% APPROVAL RATING

Now begins the post-convention the post convention season featuring the purest concentration of political promises and rhetoric as the candidates hit the trail. One of the more fascinating boasts is owned by John McCain who claimed on Meet the Press that he could easily find 30% to take off the federal budget. But this it turns out might actually be a committment that the senator can keep, really. Some background is in order, specifically the case of Lily Ledbetter, a lady who worked for decades at Goodyear in Alabama as a supervisor and who discovered after her retirement that she'd been paid substantially less than all her male co-workers while doing the exact same job, despite her many superior reviews. Ms. Ledbetter's case was thrown out however because a local judge ruled she would have had to have filed her complaint whithin 30 days of Goodyear's first such transgression, i.e. she would have had to somehow know everyone else's exact salary at Goodyear within her first 30 days on the job. Fauxvians, do not try this at home or in your own workplace. So then after Ms. Ledbetter got no relief from her local court system many in Congress have picked up the gauntlet to pass a law in her name and on behalf of all women so shortchanged. Interestingly, John McCain has said he'd be against such an anti-discrimination initiative. Why, now please read this carefully, because if women were given the right to sue for being unfairly economically victimized, then they...would sue if they were being unfairly economically victimized. But therein is the genius of John McCain's budget-balancing plan, and it started with his nominating Sarah Palin as his vice presidential candidate. You see he'll continue to employ women in the government including all cainet staff advisory research, and even maintenance positions, and then...pay them all 30% less than a man would get for the exact same job. Apply such logic to any other government agency, and we'll have an all-woman work force and all since it will be in sync with Mr. McCain's "rescuing" women from the burden of having to sue at 30% less; budget saved, promise kept, and for the women who used to be paid the same as men for government work, the 30% change in their income will indeed be the McCain change they can believe in.

MCCAIN-PALIN FAUX FRIEND TO WOMEN MOMENT

Each week we're going to bring you an example of the advantage for women when John McCain and Sarah Palin take over the White House. We're calling it our McCain-Palin Faux Friend to Women Moment. The following is for informational purposes only and does not reflect the view of the Faux.

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father."
The source: Senator John McCain -- Faux friend to women.

JUST WHO IS BETTER OFF UNDER REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTS?

There are many, it turns out, who are indeed better off financially when we have Republican presidents and we've got some relevant data on the subject. Now such information is only as good as its source, but we'll explain. A recent and very comprehensive summary was compiled in an article authored by Alan S. Blinder in his New York Times column "Economic View." In the spirit of honest disclosure Mr. Binder has been a Vice Chairman of the Federal Reserve and advised a number of Democratic presidents but as we like to say at the Faux, facts are fun, so here are some. From 1948 to 2007, there have been 26 years of Democratic presidents and 32 years of Republican ones. The chart to the left starts with the lowest income group, the 20th percentile and goes up on through the top 5% and states (adjusted for inflation) the yearly average income of these citizens. Mr. Blinder entitled the chart we're replicating "Family Income Growth."

Wow, even the top 5% commanded more income when we had a Democratic Commander-in-Chief; and the only thing that really grew under Republican rule was the differences in income. Our United States is quite an economy and fifty-eight years is quite a sample, and while Republicans will try and spin this, it will serve us all if they remember the words of their idol Ronald Regan about "the stubbornness of facts."

We at the Faux wish to give a shout out and thanks to Joanna M. of Woodbridge for alerting us to "The Economic View," and thanks also to that crazy left-wing blog which provided compiler Larry M. Bartels with his data. Oh, the blog's name? It's the U.S. Census Bureau, heard of them? So then just "who is better off under Republican Presidents?" It would not be fair to say that it's only Republican presidents; it's their vice presidents, donors, and their families. Ask yourselves if you're in that club.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

One of the truly saddest things about prejudice is that victims so often become imitators.

We need adaptable leaders because our future has this in common with our past: if we don't get it, it will surely get us.

FROM FULL DISCLOSURE TO RUMOR EXPOSURE

First, let's talk about the Democrats and VP nominee Joe Biden. While we've talked of Dick Cheney's many deferments from military service which seem all the more noteworthy since he seems so proud of them, fairness dictates that we mention Mr. Biden's exemptions as well. His count is five including a series of "2-S's" which all college undergraduates received in that era, before by the hundreds of thousands they graduated and were drafted. Joe Biden also had a "I-Y;" that deferment is medical, the result of an asthma condition which persisted over the years and which the medical review board felt disqualified him from the draft. Mr. Cheney, it should be noted, had no such physical challenges (his heart ailments came much later in life) but instead through multiple undergraduate transfers, a well timed marriage as the exemption rules changed, and the most timely family planning in deferment history avoided serving in a war he politically favored. A note is in order of medical exams: a college friend from a very well-to-do family confided that it took him a "fair number" of visits to the doctor before he finally got the diagnosis which partially exempted him. Did I mention that this very rich person was also very conservative? None the less Mr. Biden did get his I-Y status but given his family's modest means and his own resume of laborious jobs it seems to be what it is. Oh, Joe Biden's son is about to start his second tour in Iraq.

Now to the Republicans, the saga of Sarah, as in Sarah Palin, she has been mentioned in blog and rumor, including that she was an active member in a secessionist party advocating that Alaska secede from the United States, but a check of records by the New York Times finds no confirmation of this. Gee, we haven't had to deal with that kind of idea since the Civil War, which would have made for some good northern disclosure fun, but it's just not so.

What is confirmed, and this is no rumor, are the attitudes and opinions of a long time Palin advocate, Mr. Pat Buchanan, as to Israel in particular and Jews in general. He doesn't like them, and according to the highly respected ADL "publicly espouses racist, anti-Semitic, anti-Israel and anti-immigrant views," and...he's even got his own page on the AOL website. One of his choice items is from 1990 where he intones "Capitol Hill is Israeli occupied territory." A shout out to right wing Jews who don't consider this guy and his supporters dangerous, your membership in "Capos-R-Us" is paid up. That noted, if you tolerate Pat Buchanan then you've got to embrace the "maverick" Sarah Palin who's been a key supporter of Buchanan, including his 1988 run for president. In fact, Buchanan brags about what an enthusiastic operative Palin was on his behalf, calling her one of his best "brigadier fundraisers" and complemented her as a "rebel reformer." She organized rallies, raised funds, and no doubt fully embraced him politically and ideologically; wonder how the Republican "fool them Jews" committee will spin that?

GIVE ME YOUR LEFT, GIVE ME YOUR LEFT

While the above is the cadence given to soldiers marching, the left has been a fortunately dominant theme in the lives of some pretty significant leaders. Put another way, what do Caesar, Napoleon, da Vinci, Michelangelo and Einstein have in common? Answer: they were left-handed. As to what former presidents Harry Truman, Gerald Ford, Ronald Regan, George Bush Sr., and Bill Clinton have in common, you've probably guessed the answer's the same. According to those expert in probability, the chances of this many presidents of the last 11 being left-handed, given that roughly one in ten people are lefties, is almost a thousand to one. We'll tell you what is pretty certain -- and that is that the lefty improbability will continue as Barack Obama is a lefty...and so is John McCain.

USING NORTHERN EXPOSURE TO DRIVE THE BUDGET DEFICIT SOUTH

John McCain has on more than one occasion on national forums such as “Meet The Press” complained that he could easily save 30% off the current federal budget. Many doubted that, but I must concede he’s off to a fiscally responsible beginning with his nomination of Alaskan Governor Sara Palin for Vice President. Given Mr. McCain’s track record against guaranteeing a woman’s right to equal pay for equal work, his stance on the Lily Ledbetter matter being just the latest such example its easy to see where he will begin his budget “savings”. He’ll pay Vice President Palin 30% less than he would a man and along these lines he might well appoint an all woman cabinet.

THE DEMOCRATS BOUNCE INTO DENVER, CONVENTIONAL WISDOM?

To pounce on the bounce, that indeed is the convention challenge for both parties, as in what happens in the polls after each convention. Right now it's Obama 49% and McCain 43%,, what will next week bring?

Will the choice of Joe Biden as VP bring up Obama's ratings, and how will it play with Hillary Clinton's supporters? Planned Republican keynote speaker Rudy Guiliani; when asked by George Stephonopoulos "presumably you know how many homes you have" (by the way he didn't answer) insisted John McCain resonates with the average American. At least, with the average American who doesn't know how many homes he or she has. An additional irony, Rudy Guiliani is concerned that the Democrats will make that a focus of their "attack ads"-- and on that Rudy is some authority. Also of interest is that during his entire interview he did not say "9/11" even once.

The bounce from each convention, we'll see, what is of interest. In closing what Mark Halpern of ABC news said this past weekend, "No one is saying Joe Biden is not ready to be President," and added that included all the Republicans who've weighed in with criticism.

We believe it will be the Biden bounce. Smart man, smart pick.

THE CONCERNS OF HER ENEMIES

There are a lot of people "concerned" about Hillary Clinton (and her voters?) these days. The McCain campaign certainly is, just look at their ads -- and Rudy Guiliani can't help singing her praises as he gets ready to make the Republican keynote speech in Minneapolis, although since Joe Biden became the Democratic UP nominee interest in the "under/over" on how many times Rudy will use the phrase "9/11" has been muted. Lest we forget when Mr. Biden is brief he's chief, a case in point being his quip during the primaries that every sentence spoken by Rudy Guiliani contains three things: "a noun; a verb and 9/11."

But, back to Hillary and all those right-wing Republicans who just can't rest easy because they're too concerned that she's being "disrespected." Come on, that's about like some heads of the KKK getting upset if Barack Obama had been denied his rightful nomination. These people tried to cut Hillary's heart out for over a decade between Bill Clinton's challenges, and theirs was the idea that she would have been a front running and eventual party nominee. And if that stuff weren't enough, the right wing talk show circuit attack dogs made her daughter Chelsea the object of some viscious humor to put it quite mildly.

So here then is what we'd like to see Hillary open with at the Democratic Convention: "These people are as sincere in their concern for me as they are for you middle America." Don't believe it sisters check McCain's record on women's rights, and his "supreme" plan for the courts where it's your choice ladies, for now.

ON THE REALLY MCCOY MCCAIN, NOT EVEN A RAY OF HOPE

Ray Coadd, I call him the death ray, is at it again-defending "McSame" as anything other than Bush III is like confusing Shiites and Sunnis. Oh wait, your candidate keeps doing that. And has he ever changed from his "I don't know much about the economy" stance, because that may be the only change he hasn't made. Arghh, he makes Mitt Romney look like Mr. Consistency. Sure Senator McCain was a hero as a POW but that didn't stop Ray S.T. Coadd (two middle initials?) from going after every Democrat Vietnam Vet who ran against the chicken hawks Bush and Cheney. Hopefully, Ray, you read Norman's "Flag Lapel" article because you no doubt wear the super size. That's the problem with you right wing low-life apologists, you make everything personal, while the Democrats, my Democrats think they can win with a man who thinks running a civil respectful campaign is ever, ever what the Republicans planned. Again, arghh.

Confrontingly Submitted Charles A. Sandras

P.S. Hope some Democrat in the debates, be it Obama or his VP choice, points out to (or regarding) Mr. McCain that in 2000 we all knew John McCain, and this current version is no John McCain.

HOUSE RULES

So just how many houses do the McCains have? The first mention we recall concerning this plurality of places was in the "comic" strip Doonesbury, that's how we put the number at "eight." Several op-ed columnists have since maintained the count was "nine," while the ad put forth by the Obama campaign played it conservatively, talking about some "seven" homes owned by the ultra-rich (but not elite, correct?) couple. When asked that very question during an interview with www.politico.com Mr. McCain answered this way: "I think-I'll have my staff get to you...mostly condominiums...I'll have to get back to you." Their (the homes') worth is estimated at over thirteen million dollars, so they're probably not shacks. But think of it this way gang. They can alternate residences with a different one for every day of the week. Change (in venues) they do believe in.

THE BROOKS OF BABBLE-ON

David Brooks is in his own way "streaming" again. Lest we forget, Mr. Brooks was briefly for Al Gore, before he endorsed his Republican opponent as more fiscally responsible among other things. George W. Bush more responsible? Anyway in 2004 he was impressed by the "veteran" presence at the Democratic Convention and was for Mr. Kerry before he was against him, but then even by Swift boat standards the Brooks flowed in another direction rather quickly. In fact one of his primary reasons for switching (within 24 hours) on Mr. Kerry was that he flip-flopped...OK.

This past year Mr. Brooks was favorably impressed by Senator Obama (briefly, of course), leaned a bit towards Senator Clinton but is now for Senator McCain. Are you folks surprised yet?

With that as background we need to appreciate (and read) quickly Mr. Brooks' glowing end assessment of Joe Biden for Barack Obama's possible VP choice. We at the Faux can't argue with a simple reason given for extolling Mr. Biden's word and capability and predict it will take David Brooks at least several days to reverse himself should Senator Biden actually be the Democratic VP nominee. Oh, rumor has it that Fox News has signed up Joe Lieberman as their senior core loyalty reversal expert. Joe, Dave-you should study together.

BROOKS BABBLE UPDATE

Due to Shabbos, our prediction on Joe Biden was published after the Obama campaign announced it. We're glad on all levels, smart choice, smart man.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

The pendulum of life is almost never at "fair" because it is always in motion to one extreme or the other.

Friendship cannot begin to blend into love until there is the presumption of good intent.

A PROUD MCCANIAC

Yes I am a McCaniac and proud of it. His trials as a prisoner of war shows he DESERVES TO BE PRESIDENT. It's not about what we the citizens of the United States deserve. But while most, well actually all, agree he should be admired for his tenacity as a POW in the "Hanoi Hilton," much fewer seem to give him credit for the trials he has faced here. Where to start, well for one thing the McCains have the stress of owning eight homes. While we so often hear ("the whining" as still economic advisor Phil Gramm put) it of so many Americans who claim they have "struggles" managing one home, does anyone give the McCains the due sympathy for having eight times the struggle?

On the subject of struggles in the home, why should Cindy McCain be pressured to give out her financials? When did the financial interests, cronies and areas of influence of a candidate's spouse (she's worth less than 200,000,000) become a legitimate part of the presidential debate? Name one time, just one time the Republicans demanded the same of the wife of the Democratic nominee. OK aside from Teresa Kerry. Anyway, they claim that McCain is too old and enfeebled to keep going as president, are you kidding me, talk about covering ground, he's already in shape to chase Bin Ladin to the gates of hell, and the Democrats can't even find that locale on their tom tom. More to follow.

Sincerely,
Raymond S.T. Coadd

CHANGE YOU CAN DECEIVE IN

One of the great lines (there weren't that many) in the Republican primary debates was by John McCain in derisively addressing Mitt Romney. Referencing to the truth, that Romney had changed his position on taxes, energy, pro-choice and many other hot (push?) button issues, McCain quipped (to Romney) "You are indeed the agent of change." So why then would the McCain folks have Mr. Romney representing them on the national talk show circuit, most recently the center stage on "This Week with George Stephanopoulos?" Why indeed. Well, possibly because Senator John McCain in an election year where the mantra is on "change" has in fact done the most changing of all, not from the current administration with which he is a in knee jerk reflex but from himself. That's right, John McCain's "Straight Talk Express" with regular access available to reporters across the spectrum has become the "Straight Talk Digress." Consider the "Straight Talk" 2000 and after version of John McCain trying to insulate (as opposed to emulate) the nation from George W. Bush. He opposed Bush's tax plan as unfairly tilted to the rich (maybe he hadn't seen Cindy McCain's actual financials) and was against, strongly (then) the "agents of intolerance" of the religious right. Today, all that's changed. He stood against the lobbyists who ran Republican policy, but his he's hired many of them to run his campaign now. In 2003 he was all approving of the Iraq war and only after the insurgency showed the mess we had "accomplished," as in "mission" (not), did he take a stand against the Bush Bunch's approaches.

Thanks to Frank Rich for pointing out that 4 in 10 Americans feel they don't know John McCain well enough. Also the story that the McCain campaign has received "strong" support financially from a "group tied closely to Al Qaeda" was broken by Mr. Rich this past Sunday. The source of this information interestingly is Jerome Corsi who has produced works to smear John Kerry, "Draft to Command" and Barack Obama "The Obama Nation." The web site (again, a right wing bastion) which has broken the news on Mr. McCain's financial Al Qaeda ties is www.worldnetdaily.com.

And hey there Mitt Romney, when you were campaigning and your five healthy sons were headed around our nation, but nowhere near Iraq, you explained they were defending this country by getting you elected president. Now that you're no longer running, how many have enlisted so far?

FLAG LAPELS PINNED DOWN, WE THINK

Now that both candidates, Obama and McCain are wearing flag lapels (most of the time) it would seem that matter is settled for now. But in some form, or some other race this important non-issue is sure to again be in question so we've got the Faux solution. In patriotism as in so many other inclinations, one size does not fit all, so why have one size on lapels for all. We suggest three sizes starting with a minuscule one, almost too small to see and that one can only be worn by veterans of a foreign war. Senator McCain obviously qualifies and we feel that makes the statement "better to serve the flag than wave the flag." Incidentally, more than one heroic gentleman from the "greatest generation" who served in WWII and Korea personally echoed this sentiment to me. For regular non-political people who want to wear a flag lapel (if there are any regular non-political people so inclined) there should be the very regular sized ones available. For people with only one Vietnam-era deferment, as long as they weren't retroactively a chicken hawk, the standard lapel we suppose is OK too. But where it gets challenging is when you have people with three (i.e. Trent Lott, Rudy G.), four (our prez), five (VP Dick), or up to seven (Mr. Homeland Security himself, John Ashcroft) deferments; what is the proper size flag lapel to symbolize the "extent" of their service? The results of our survey are in and by unanimous dictatorial decree we recommend a super deluxe extra large flag lapel for all with multiple deferments, and front line Vietnam attitudes well after there were any front lines. You see, a large lapel to compensate for a small shall we say...resume.

WHAT, (if) OBAMA'S BEEN CHEATING, T O O?

No one who's seen the news, read the NY Post, or an actual newspaper, doesn't know that Mr. Edwards cheated on his wife Elisabeth. We all know only too well about Bill and Monica, and that, outside of harming a marriage, harmed our country. Rudy Guiliani of course strayed in his marriage, but did not do his deeds out of sight far from home, but rather in his home with his then eight year old son in the next room. The fact that both his children at last count were working in Barack Obama's campaign, and they were even when Rudy was running, is a rather clear comment on their feelings about their dad. So then...what if it turns out Barack Obama has been cheating on his wife and it turns out is way more super rich (as in financially elite) than we thought and actually has eight homes? Does it matter? Or isn't the most important criteria of someone's presidential timbre (a concept that virtually all countries but ours seem to get) how capable, energetic and maybe most important, adaptable (because you never know what the day will bring you) that someone will be for our benefit, not his.

On balance, Republicans should make no moral judgments on Mr. Edwards without acknowledging an adulterous relationship began by a heroic, and much much younger John McCain that changed his personal life for the better, at least politically and financially? Because the future Cindy McCain, brewery heiress now worth over 200 million dollars, (and they actually have eight homes!), was the lady he was drawn to (and she willingly to her married suitor) when shortly after McCain returned to the U.S. as a justly celebrated ex-POW, his first and long forgotten (by the media) loyal wife had been injured in an auto accident, was no longer as attractive and was forsaken. The McCain people always claim that this election should be decided in his favor based on his greater experience. Well he is a pretty experienced philanderer.

All this of course is nonsense and has nothing to do with how skilled and intuitive a president someone might make, would that we voted the best and most common-sense interests for ourselves and our families rather than our purist ones. Alas, we haven't so far.

GOP $$, IT'S OIL IN THE FAMILY

Mustafa Abu Naba'a is not a household name, for now, at least. Harry Sargeant III of Florida is a little more well known in his home state where he is the Republican finance chairman and a major player in the McCain campaign. Together however Mr. Abu Naba'a and Mr. Sargeant have become an item, politically and financially and may wind up better known than they wished. It seems that these two gentlemen are long-time business partners; in fact Mr. Sargeant is involved in a major oil trading company (he is a partner) and together they were able to bundle more than $50,000 in contributions to the McCain campaign in a very atypical way. There are some tricky parts: Mr. Naba'a is a foreign national, and many of his family members who were listed as donors (there's only so much each individual is allowed) said they didn't give. Further more they were not well off, had no intention of giving and didn't support Mr. McCain. The non-partisan Campaign Legal Center issued the opinion that foreign nationals shall not "directly or indirectly" help out in the "decision-making process" which is "election related." The McCain's lawyer said that Mr. Naba'a's bundling WAS allowed but...returned the money because in the words of their attorney Brian Rogers "it just didn't sound right to us, the whole situation." And they got caught. Kudos to Mr. Michael Luo for his NYT article on this matter and if what we passed on seems like real dry news, we'll try not to make it a habit.

ALL HE DID WAS HIT THE ICEBERG

Watching Republicans like Senator McCain and company criticizing Senator Obama for nuances or his perceived attitude, after their two terms of presidential “stewardship”, please, give us a break. That makes about as much sense as Captain Edmond Smith (late of the Titanic) carping on the crews attitude while they were lowering the life-boats.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

In their search for "divine" facts many miss the most earthly of truths, that in what Americans fear, want and need, we are so remarkably alike.

FROM JOE LIEBERMAN TO JOE'S LOST ‘ER MAN

Watching Joe Lieberman on "This Week with George Stephanopolous" we had a Ronald Reagan flashback. We'll explain. There was a certain feeling I had when listening to President Reagan speak in his second term, something seemed not quite well, Kosher. Sorry Joe but you're mixing dairy and meat (in politics anyway) these days, and you seem a bit unorthodox, and not in a good way. Ronald Reagan regrettably (to many) had, it turns out Alzheimer’s which affected him in the latter stages of his presidency, and not for the better. And Joe, it may be presumptuous on our part (not that that’s ever stopped us) but it just seems Joe's Lost 'er man, and we hope mental health is not the reason.

40 ACRES AND A MULE, NO, IT'S 68 MILLION ACRES AND NO DRILLS

68 million acres, now that's a lot of land, and that's how much land the oil companies now have leased on which they're not drilling. Why, well we'd have to ask them, but as to why they (Mobile and Exxon) want more just ask yourselves. That's because the more land they can get before Mr. Bush leaves the more they can leverage for their profits and our peril. Can anyone be surprised?

ON "ELEVATING THE DEBATE" IT'S HEARTBREAK RIDGE AND ROVE-ING ETHICS

Tom Ridge (R) of Pennsylvania, a possible VP choice for John McCain, has a fascinating take on the Republican ads featuring Britney Spears and Paris Hilton attacking Barack Obama on energy policy among other issues. And that is that such an ad was necessary to "elevate" the debate on that topic. A few quick thoughts on this and the first is that factcheck.org researched and proved their comments on Senator Obama's so-called plan to tax electricity are simply wrong. Also worth noting is that Ms. Hilton's family has made the maximum donation allowable to the McCain campaign. That noted if this ad using the "expertise" of Ms. Spears and Ms. Hilton is to "elevate" the level of the debate, again their words, not ours, what bottom were they feeding off of before they nourished this debate? And isn't that level what John McCain has so often claimed he intended to personally stand for? Guess the "maverick" is Rove-ing off from his honorable 2000 approaches which didn't work with the Republican base, did it. Sad when a man imitates his tormentors.

MCCAIN IS MCSAME; WHEN THE GOP IS "RACING" TO THE WHITE HOUSE

In 2005 Ken Mehlman, who had been chairman for the RNC (and should know), addressed the NAACP with a long overdue apology conceded that his Republican party had used race as a divide and defeat device for about 40 years or so. Mr. Mehlman’s remarks were brief and by many (mostly Republicans) were apparently forgotten because they’re at it again as McCain’s people are claiming that Barack Obama is playing the: “race card”. Huh? Even the most knee jerk right wing jerks knew that calling attention to race hardly helps the Democratic cause as negative race stereotypes ( i.e. Willie Horton and much more) have produced many Republican positives, namely in the voting booths. Fear works, especially among those easily frightened and McCain has become, again, McSame in using The Republican race card, the real race card, the most dominant suit in their political deck, and on this issue they’ve never dealt from the top.

AS TO THE LEGACY OF HENRY FORD THE GOP SHOULD KEEP ITS MITTS OFF

Once upon a time there lived a man named Henry Ford. He was called (because he actually was) an innovator, inventor, and business genius, and his implementation of the assembly line was the foreplay of the American romance with the automobile. He was also labeled (again because it was true) one of the most virulent and influential anti-Semites in history. Using radio broadcasts, periodicals and his economic strength he spread his contamination of fair-mindedness far and wide. We can I suppose be thankful for small favors in that Ford got to live just long enough to see his hero Adolph Hitler eat it in the bunker, but such venom (from both Hitler and Ford) always tends to outlast the life span of they who spun it.
A brief fast forward from Henry Ford's time is in order, as regards the present day influence of the Ford Foundation. In 2001 at a UN anti-racism conference in Durban, South Africa, Israel was "it" in the game of racist tag. The respected JTA reports that "many of the anti-Israeli activists were egged on by Ford-backed pro-Palestinian groups." When they got the unwelcome attention they deserved, the Foundation packed off and pledged to be better. The fact that they did and do direct millions of dollars to pro-Palestinian NGO's which still beat the drums to an "Israeli racist, apartheid state" best is undeniable and regrettably symbolic given the legacy of Henry Ford.
So what do such insidious acts have to do with John McCain, and the Republican quest for the presidency, not much, maybe. Although as the great friend of Israel he claims to be he might have known about the Ford Foundation and the Palestinians, if he chooses Mitt Romney as his VP choice, and we predict he will, there we're on record, he will have to know. That's because Mr. Romney opened his own presidential campaign for the Republican nomination at of all places, the Henry Ford Museum. Hey, if he needed a "Ford" in Michigan there was the Gerald Ford Library, and it's difficult to believe the Harvard-educated Mr. Romney didn't know the Ford anti-Semitic history.
If this is not code to those who under the surface do not wish Jews or Israel well, it's a pretty good imitation. And on the subject of predictions, in addition to being convinced Mr. Romney will be Mr. McCain's choice, we're just as convinced that he'll calculatingly, deliberately avoid addressing any concerns to the fair-minded Jews who've a right to have wished Mr. Romney kept his mitts off the Ford "tradition" in Jewish relations. Could there be a groundswell of pressure, maybe, but we also predict virtually every right wing apologetic in the media, including many Jews, will do the heavy lifting to keep the pressure off. Consider their (the right wing Jews) history; they apologized for Nixon (the Yom Kippur War among other things), Reagan (after Bitburg), and George Bush (after he threatened Israel’s solvency) during the first Gulf War, so we're sure their "honor" will be "up" to the task of providing cover for the Mitt Romney-Henry Ford link. Somewhere the ghosts of Capos from the Camps must be watching.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

Hugs are a renewable resource and they are energy efficient!

Dedicated to Dawn

WHAT TO CUT; ROAD WARY

In Louisiana, some years ago there was a horrific bus accident due to the operator's losing control. That very driver at fault had in fact been reportedly hospitalized for heart and kidney problems but was still permitted to drive; twenty-two humans died in that mishap. As a result, some seven years ago in 2001 the National Transportation Board of Safety recommended eight steps to crack down on unsuitable drivers...good luck to us all, because to this day the Bush administration has not implemented a single one of the eight preventative measures.
That makes this case another case in point to think about when considering where the Bush/McCain philosophy of cutting back on what government is supposed to do will leave us. Zero implementations of eight life-saving recommendations, eight recommendations for the safety of our families put behind the Bush tax cut eight ball, how 'bout it Republicans. Do you think unfit drivers endanger only the children of Democrats? Oh, for the record, it was shown that this past year, over 1,000 drivers were permitted to keep on truckin' although they had either seriously impaired hearing or vision. But again, we can't say for sure that our would-be commercial driver who couldn't hear AND see got to keep their license-you had to be able to do one or the other.

T. BOONE DOCKS THE REPUBLICAN BALANCE SHEET

No one could have missed the ads being run by Texas oil man T. Boone Pickens with the (obvious) mantra that we can't "drill our way" out of our current energy problems and dependence on foreign oil. Mr. Pickens, who experienced an intellectual Renaissance at age 80 is of course favoring the use of the everlasting, inevitable Texas winds.
Speaking of Texas winds, and keeping with the Faux News principle that complete truths are far preferable to complete sentences, it was Mr. Pickens who at the cost of three million dollars financed the Swift Boat campaign against John Kerry which may have been the most significant (and fraudulent) ad of the 2004 political campaign. And it may have been the single most effective factor in keeping Mr. Bush in the White House. That noted, and it should be, T. Boone was becoming quite the critic of the Bush bunch. Many of us cannot help asking, what now, T. Boone? For one thing, the facts (this time) are on his side. Consider we in the United States now possess three percent of the world's oil reserves and are responsible for twenty percent of its consumption. Brings to mind a Bible verse, "You were weighed in the balance and found wanting," which may be what's moving T. Boone Pickens to balance the scales of his legacy having enabled a pretty unbalanced group of men to endanger our security, our economy, and quite possibly our planet. Hope he keeps his focus on swift winds, not swift boats this time around.
I suppose if you use Republican fuzzy math you could drill the 3% we have 10 times to exceed the 20% we use.