On Talking the Talk; Some (GOP) Base Truths

The President of Iran, we call (and pronounce) his name: Imadimwhack job is like other Arab leaders, quite rational. The proof is that no top guy from Bin Laden to those in charge of Hamas, or other terror groups sponsored by Saudi Arabia or Iran have ever led a mission themselves. The rationale is, of course, that they’re still around and since their missions are suicide ones, they’re aware enough and cowardly enough to be aware that no one does two of those. Thus while Senator McCain says we won’t talk to such enemies (unlike the policies of JFK, Nixon, Regan et. al.), you know if elected he will, because presidents always do, as even to some degree has the Bush Administration. So, tell us, why the bluster buster? Maybe it’s because one can eventually act rationally once they’ve been elected by the Republican base, but they can’t get elected by talking rationally to the Republican base.

Friday Fauxlosophy

A dispatch from the San Juan’s in the great Northwest:
If it is the right one, there’s no place like an island to make one feel connected.

Like, About Out of the Sky Come.....

Like a bolt out of the sky come well, a bolt out of the sky as our residence was hit by lightening. Yes, it left a mark, and we’ll have the cons and believe it or not the pros of an almost disastrous moment.

Faux Features Futures

We, Norman and Northern Reb have been on hiatus this week but we’ll be back in full swing in the coming days. We thought we’d give a preview of the coming attractions, so here goes. The Faux has intercepted signals from another civilization in the galaxy which is only good news because it turns out they’re out protectors, we’ll explain in the article in which they’re the featured creatures. Also there will be updates on the bad leader(s) that John McCain won’t talk to and the good ones he will. Also, we’ll discuss elitism for the common folk and have invented a new word- conservmythicism, we believe you’ll see the relevance. And last and most important we'll be doing a series on our interviews with World War II and Korean veteran Charles (Chick) Ames, a genuine American hero, who at 93 is still sharp as a tack with opinions to match. We’ll be in contact soon.

Class? The Right Stuff

Mike Huckabee long third for the GOP nomination contest (thus our pet name: Mike Heck of a three) has alas because just third rate these days. A case in point happened at this week’s appearance by Gov Huckabee at the NRA meeting and his reaction to a noise in the hall backstage. He joked, “That was Barack Obama falling off a stool; he thought we were going to shoot him”. Swift move Mike, an assassination joke is just what the country needs approaching the 40th anniversary of the murder of Robert Kennedy. Yet this kind of gaff by the right had only a fraction of the shelf life of Hillary Clinton’s reference to the same anniversary. And while the press jumped and twitched regarding their next news cycle, Robert Kennedy Jr. himself aid he took no offense to Mrs. Clinton’s remarks. Wonder if Barack Obama’s family in Republican world would have a right to be offended by Gov Huckbee’s “joke”?

RELIGION IN AMERICA; DUAL LOYALTIES

As a devoutly practicing Jewish American, there are multiple loyalties that I hold dear. My religion is first and foremost. It is the faith of my ancestors and the traditions that I hope to pass on to my children. This faith has held steadfast through thousands of years of horror, torture and pain as millions of Jews, men women and children, willingly gave up their life and kept their faith intact.
I believe that this devotion is what has kept us alive as a people. The idea that our religion has consistently meant more to us than life itself is one that defies reasonableness but defines our reason for being. Still throughout Jewish history the one unifying factor that has united all Jews, regardless of their knowledge of the Torah or their level of observance, has been their willingness to die for their faith.
My next loyalty is to the country that I live in, the United States of America. This wonderful country has made it possible for the first time in history for Jews to practice their faith freely, without the fear of persecution. The vision of our founding fathers of a great nation that is tolerant and accepting of all religions has truly changed the international landscape to the point where communism and authoritarianism are becoming more and more isolated, and will hopefully eventually wither away. I am and forever will be grateful to this country for allowing me to celebrate Shabbat, wear a Yarmulka, circumcise my son, and live as a Jew openly and proudly.
So when I hear influential people in the USA making statements that imply that Jews are not as welcome here as Christians it scares me. When I hear that “America is a Christian nation” and “let all Jews who don’t want to say merry christmas go back to Israel” it troubles me and should concern others. When US Presidents and their close advisers make subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) remarks that seem to blame the Jews for the problems that we face as a country, it scares me. It reminds me of the tribulations of my noble ancestors and how they reacted in the face of bigotry, and it makes me promise to do the same.
I fully believe that America will continue to be at the international forefront of democracy, and that we will always be able to live freely as Jews here. But if the day would ever come where I would have to choose between my religion and my country, the choice would be an easy one. And when I read the paper and watch the news and I see the anti-semitic bigotry being espoused, I think to myself…to which party to these people belong, both past and present? Just listen to the candidates and those whose endorsements they eagerly accept.

DOUBLE YOUR STANDARDS, DOUBLE YOUR NEWS FUN

John McCain and Hillary Clinton are united on at least one political position and that is that Barack Obama is somehow responsible in support of is pastor (we should say former pastor) of many years, Jeremiah Wright. We at the Faux question the Flux News bunch’s obsessive repetition of Reverend Wright’s idiocies although they don’t necessarily typify his 30+ years of sermons. Wright’s blights aside, it does seem a white Wright might have gotten far less replays; we’d be curious to know how many of the Flux News watchers are aware that one of then candidate Rudy Guiliani’s then inner circle, in fact the man who officiated at his marriage (one of his times) is a priest who is facing numerous charges as a child molester. Again in the arena of awareness, how many know that John McCain accepted, quite eagerly in fact, the endorsements of Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and John Hagee, “gentlemen” who take some interesting news when it comes to those they consider “different”. Mr. Robertson blamed 9/11 on homosexuals, as did Mr. Falwell who also went to his grave unapologetic for his condemnation of Jews as deficient people “not deserving of an afterlife”. And while Reverend Hagee, way back in 2006, (don’t forget Reverent Wright’s remarks date from 2001) emphasized (what he considered) the similarities between the agenda of Adolph Hitler and the “Roman Church”, you never see Flux News flexing these clips . . . That noted, Mr. McCain said he’s anti “anyone who’s anti anything” but . . . still maintained he “welcomed” Hagee’s endorsement. Again, no news clips on the Flux regarding this stuff but then Mr. McCain’s embrace of Mr. Hagee does goes all the way back to . . . 2008.

HOW WOULD AMERICA DO IF…

How would we make out as a nation in the next 8 years if we had a president who predictably wore a flag pin on his lapel but stood by as veterans benefits fell? What if we had one who talked about religion but avoided the real message of faiths (such as Christianity, Judaism etc.) which prioritize helping the neediest among us? How would America be doing if we had a president who regularly took care of himself with exercise and access to the country’s best health care but didn’t seem at all fazed by the fact that over 50 million Americans lack that level of support or often any health care at all? What if our president claimed to feel “compassion” for the economic hardship Americans faced while paying record gas prices but who would never consider passing a windfall profits tax on big oil, let alone cutting back on the subsidies that the oil industry now receives?
Answer; we’d get through 8 years of this okay. Haven't we already?

THE KRISTOL SHTIK

It was on the morning of Yom Kippur in Israel, in 1973 and the stakes couldn’t have been higher. Prime Minister Golda Meir met with the Minister of Defense Moshe Dayan and Israeli General David Elazar, and there wasn’t, in the opinion of Golda Meir and General Elazar, a bit of a doubt that Syria and friends planned to launch an attack, sooner rather than later, deeper rather than shallower and far, far deadlier than any previous such excursion. The most logical option to many in the know including Ms. Meir and General Elazar was a pre-emptive strike sure to save many, many Israeli lives, particularly those of the young soldiers who would take the brunt that comes with being on the defensive. There were considerations and these came in the form of the support and supply Israel needed to logistically wage the battle. With their previous European trading powers cowered by threats of an Arab oil blackmail Israel’s
survival was to a great extent, dependent on United States support. The U.S. led by Richard M. Nixon and his court capo Henry Kissinger, in no uncertain terms threatened Israel if they dared pre-empt with Mr. Kissinger warning that if Israel literally didn’t wait for the inevitable and damaging first strikes before answering back, that “we won’t send you so much as a nail”. In what had to be an agonizing, almost faustian bargain, Ms. Meir prevailed and Israel did nothing until after the lethal attacks which cost over 2,500 lives of her heroic young men and women in battle. No military historian disputed the disadvantage of being the one attacked but one current pundit who is most definitely not of a military background (however militarily he postures) William Kristol, recently called Richard M. Nixon a “defender of Israel”.

OH REALLY, WE’D HATE TO SEE THEIR DETRACTORS
Jon Stewart frequently refers to this neo-con pundit this way “Oh, Bill Kristol, are you ever right?” while we at the Faux refer to him differently, namely as a court capo for this administration. Incidentally, our current president who took until his eighth year in office to even visit Israel in support (Bill Clinton did it by his second) is also listed as another of Israel’s “defenders”. Speaking of Mr. Kristol, I assured a friend, before it was factually confirmed that Bill Kristol despite being of age and practical opinion did not serve in the Vietnam era army. The friend when his researching confirmed my judgment said that a leopard is not changing his spots: no in the case of Mr. Kristol it’s a jackal not changing his approach.

FRIDAY FAUXLOSOPHY

We must always be careful with the words that we say; trying to take back our words can be compared to taking cream out of coffee, to date an impossible feat.

COMMON SENSE, TAXED AGAIN

Another thought, and this taxes our common sense and it concerns those corporations who take their operations overseas for the purpose of keeping their profits overseas and thus defer paying taxes. Mr. McCain and other Republicans claim that if tax rates were lower in the U.S., businesses would move back here but what taxes our sense, is that since they’re paying no taxes overseas, how could we make our corporate tax rate “lower”. It’s a lot of nothing to think this problem of corporation’s living off Americans working in and for America isn’t something?

MORE NOT LOQUACIOUS BUT QUOTATIOUS FOLK

It’s easy to be economical in praise that is of the economical policies and approaches of John McCain and company. In one such instance, Ms. Carly Fiorina, a McCain campaign surrogate, when asked (as was Hillary Clinton) to name a single credible economist who supports the gas tax cut (remember we get all of .30 a day back, wow) said, “No, I can’t but I don’t think it matters”. Omigod, is McCain going to be a less knowledgeable president that George Bush? Is a Bush II light even conceivable?

SHE KNOWS OLD

Gertrude Noone is thought of as an authority on a number of issues because she’s seen a lot and absorbed a lot, and been around a lot. She was asked recently on her thoughts on Senators McCain, Clinton and Obama as candidates. Her opinions went something like this; on Barack Obama “he’s smart”, but believes he “makes too many promises”. Regarding Senator Clinton, Ms. Noone is impressed by Hillary’s energy and conditioning and talks in general about how she’s concerned that for all politicians “it’s all about money”. As for Senator McCain, “so far” she favors him feeling there’s something “presidential” about him but feels “he’s a little old”. And when Gertrude Noone calls someone “a little old”, we have to take note, as she was recently featured in a New Haven Register article honoring her on her 109th birthday . . . like we said, she knows old.

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TINT?

Birthdays are celebrated in different ways, benchmark ones like a 50th or 70th for instance might merit a big blowout or at least a party, but this week one such anniversary, Israel’s 60th in fact seemed to spur a critique. That’s right, a critique as the New York Times decided to focus on those Arabs who while being Israeli citizens with the right to vote, get health care, thrive in capitalistic enterprises et al., consider themselves “outsiders” in a Jewish state. In some respects the Palestinians and other Arabs have real issues and their lives are certainly influenced by Israel’s policies, but as we at the Faux frequently expound, there are complete sentences and complete truths and the two are not always the same.
The Times gets to some of the whole truths but interestingly adds a new wrinkle to our “complete sentence saying” by showing us there is no truth like timely truth. A case in point is the way in the very latter stages of the article some Israeli points of view are explained. Again, late in the narrative about Arab villages destroyed in 1947-48 it is correctly explained that local Arab’s and their militias initiated attacks against the first Jewish settlements and then, the Jewish settlers came back at them, hard. Mommy, they hit me back …happens.
Wars have been fought and literary careers have been launched to explain and reframe the conflicts between the Israelis, the Palestinians, and others Arabs, so we certainly won’t attempt a consummate discussion here. That said however, NYT, with all due respect and we do respect you, we’d like to suggest a future feature. One might discuss a Palestinian or other Arab run democracy which gives full voting and vesting rights to those Jews who live in their society. Another might center on, complete with all due disrespect, examples of Jewish suicide bombers, you know where Jewish parents hate the Arab children more than they love their own. We realize such articles might not be viable due to lack of available content. As far as the news that’s fit, we suggest you print on, and promise that on your next big anniversary to wish you an unfettered happy birthday.

FEE FI FOUR FAUXLOSOPHIES (THAT MAYBE SOME CANDIDATES CAN USE AS WELL)

1. Our change will keep working so you keep working.
2. We don't always need big government, but we sure need a governmentr which is capable fo coming up big.
3. Nothing says "high road" better than saying it low key.
4. We should worry less about happy endings than happy continuings.