WIN YANKEE TICKETS: A FAUX NEWS NETWORK CONTEST

We will be running a monthly feature, and contest, on the Faux for candidates worthy of induction into the P.O.M.P. Hall of Fame. P.O. M. P., for those would enter (and win) stands for Persons of Military Pretentiousness and we’re accepting nominations now. Here then are the criteria: the ideal candidate should meet (or exceed) the following to emulate the P.O.M.P. ideal:
A) Must have been in favor of the Vietnam War and thus determined to stop Asia from going Communist. B) Hopefully he still believes in the “Domino Theory”. C) The nominee should always wear out in public at least one flag lapel at all times. An aggressive patriotic tee shirt is an acceptable substitute. D) The ideal candidate needs at least one draft deferment from the service in the Vietnam Era. E) This deferment should have been as creative as possible i.e. the reason for Trent Lott’s deferment was a “special project” at the university of Mississippi which turned out to be for organizing the cheerleaders formations. Well someone had to check out the bottoms of those ladies at the top of the pyramids. F). Extra points are available to those who currently (and aggressively) denigrate those who would begin any sort of draw down in Iraq as either: surrenders, unpatriotic, cut and runners or ( and this gets bonus points) cowards. G) The judging will be done in our usual subjective manner, but this is a real contest with at least one pair of tickets to be given away and these are lower level field box seats, in the third base area, just under the over hang. H) You can’t win if you don’t play, but if you do win, they’re among the best seats in the house, and they (the Yanks) will play.