Michael Nutter, the mayor of Philadelphia has engineered a gun law with which we at the Faux don't agree. The law (one of 5 actually) which gets our attention prohibits Philadelphians from buying more than one hand gun per month. Mr. Nutter explained on the Colbert Report that he just doesn't like people getting shot. He goes on to say its a matter of individual rights, that "everyone has the right not to be shot".
As we previously (and in fact for years) have maintained BF (Before Faux) and since, we feel that everyone should be allowed to legally buy all the guns they want and at one time if they so choose, as long as they adhere to two crucial principles. One is that they will agree to make sure that only liberals or their family members will be the victims of stray bullets or spontaneous homicides which may originate from any of their weapons and two, that no one will be allowed to own in total more guns than they have teeth. And that Fauxvians is how not to gum up the works while your gunning them up, which as my learned reportorial friend Janet suggested is so often followed by the gunning downs.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
GUNNING OR IS THAT GUMMING UP THE WORKS
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
The Faux News Network Principles |
B) Or we retort if you deride, unless we choose not to |
C) Complete sentences are acceptable in lieu of complete truths |
D) It’s OK to criticize the 2006 Democratic Congress for all America’s problems since 2001 |
E) We shoot from the flip |
F) We’re not always accurate but we’re always certain |
G) On what we feel is wrong in this world, we can’t stop people from saying I don’t agree or I don’t care, but we won’t let them say I didn’t know |
H) The director’s board has a whim of irony |
I) In times of emergency, we should rally around our President: In times of democracy he should do the same for us |
J) We proudly plagiarize in advance, examples available upon request |
K) It’s easy to be fun-based when you’re fact based |
L) Good news parody makes for good news parity |
M) And, of course, our goal is and always will be to be the most trusted name in Faux News |
No comments:
Post a Comment