TAXING ONE’S LOGIC

You can make a case, many have and it is logical, that tax refunds to people making $260,000, a million or even 10 million dollars or more a year is absurd in proportion to their income. The problem is this; those tax cuts, and it was not a tax rise, those tax cuts were going to be reinstated when the new congress was sworn in. So, Barack Obama got the best deal he could get, extending unemployment, working on payroll tax reduction etc. given his circumstances. He’s also in the bargain, got the opening to get the start treaty on open debate. He made the best deal he could. Should he have dealt differently in the months running up to the election, one could certainly argue you to that. But given what he was faced with after the mid-term elections he made the best deal he could. And to do anything different that taxes logic as well.

VICK IS NO VIC’

Michael Vick certainly had a huge night as quarter back for the Philadelphia Eagles, being responsible between passing and running for six touchdowns. People are saying it was an impressive performance, it is. People are saying he is a great talent, always has been. But when people are saying look at what he’s overcome, feeling sympathy for him because he went to prison, hold on hold on. The fact that Vick is no vic has to be repeated, because he went to jail for committing felonies which include animal abuse and cruelty. See, you can’t consider yourself the victim when you were the perp. That said, he is a hell of a talent from the neck down, as for the neck up we will have to keep on checking up.

LAME DUCKS DON’T BE LAME

There is a bill before the Senate to get medical aid for the Responders of 911. A no brainer for the Republican Patriots, right, except they are all against it. Once again the “patriotic” GOP is giving support to the 911 people verbally, but…just…not…financially which really helps a lot with medical bills. In the mean time the Democrats are desperately trying to co-op Senators Olympia Snow and Susan Collins from Maine, before the Senate recesses. It will be interesting to see how the “patriotic” GOP supports real patriotic men and women, and hint, it takes more than wearing flag lapels?

No Ford in my future

In a town called Sanford, Florida, Nick Ginetta is the general manager of a car dealership called National Trucks, and has a, well different idea for promoting sales. Here’s his inspired way to “gun up” business; with every purchase of a new truck he will give out a voucher good for the purchase of an AK-47. News clips of his lot showed all these trucks to have the Ford logo, so I am presuming it’s a Ford dealership. If this is so I’ll tell you what; while I have been a Lincoln/Ford owner several times, but it’s safe to say there is no Ford in my future.

TEA BAG TENNESSEE

In Tennessee there is a town which is basically Tea Bag Nation, everything is privatized, and everything is for profit, no big government. The Fire Department requires you pay “fire insurance”, $50.00 each household so then you have bought into this private capitalistic non-governmental market fire protection. Ok, it seems this past week there was a fire in that town. One of the people had not paid the fire insurance, the fire department showed up and they watched it burn to the ground with a number of pets inside dying in the fire. They were there to make sure the next door neighbor’s house which had paid the fire insurance was not endangered by the fire burning down. Neighbors showed up and offered the fire department hundreds of dollars, I am going to say a $1,000.00 to put out the fire but they refused because “the insurance” had not been paid in advance. They’ve often said people deserve the government they get, and the town of Tea Party Tennessee is a case in point. Because while they now require people to pay for fire protection, what happens when police and emergency room services are next? And how about this one gang, what if someone is denied such assistance, perishes, and then they discover a clerical error…the person had actually paid! May the tea baggers among us be the first to be bagged in the Tea Party Nation.

CONSERVATIVE HISTORY

He was hated in a visceral way; he was considered maybe a greater threat to the population in general than a nuclear attack. He was going to disrupt all that was moral and good. His name was (and is) Robert Edwards he was a British Biologist that developed in vitro fertilization leading to the birth of test tube babies. He recently received the Nobel Prize, but it is worth looking at how the conservative establishment detested him and came at him from every level. It is one of the quintessential examples of right wing anti-history which becomes main stream fact once time passes. Obviously for those who cannot have babies any other way this is a godsend and it is now quite common place as was pointed out by Robin Marantz Henig, in a NY Times article this week, that no one gives it a second thought. But at one time they gave it many thoughts and this man, this great man, said that just because something can be misused doesn’t mean it will be; it’s the counter of just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. And it reminds us again of the conservative physiological subconscious and often conscience mantra that nothing should ever be done for the first time. There are a lot of living families that are glad it was and glad it is.

SPREE PARTY CANDIDATES

With all the attention given lately to the tea party, a far more important and perhaps more ominous trend is taking place in current politics, a trend I would call the “spree party”. And that of course is when incredibly rich self funders have bought their way into electoral prominence. But according to these folks, Meg Whitman, Carl Fiorina, Carl Paladino, Linda McMahon etc. it’s never about their own personal aggrandizement, it’s all about job creation. And you know what? As candidates they are right. Because consider the hundreds of millions of dollars that they collectively flow into the media, print and bulk mailing industries to help with what they hope will be their own personal political tsunamis. Alas, should they be elected, the political theory that have given shows they would not create jobs, but in fact endanger current unemployment benefits and even the level of the minimum wage. But were they to be defeated they will no doubt run again and again (see Ned Lamont), and every 2 years be a boost for the economy as spree party candidates.

FAKE FAUX FOLK FACTS

The Supreme Court passed a law which basically allowed anonymous donations to political candidates and with that some very greedy, very rich, very right wing people are trying to influence the election (as in buying it). One of their best is three “just plain folks” in West Virginia talking about how that darn Obama is messing things up. Well it turns out those just plain folks were actually in the Oregon diner in south Philly filming that and they are all actors and told to wear hey seed type stuff. You have to give the Republicans credit, they say we depend on the hay seed vote to make hay and not say who they are as the fake faux folks don’t want the facts, to get out that is.

FRIDAY PHILOSOPHY

FRIDAY PHILOSOPHY

Why has the saying “all the common fears” so much more resonance than “all the common calmness” the former doesn’t even have a reiteration?

REPUBLICAN RESPONSE AND RESPONSIBILITY

Sharron Angle has been playing the tea party “angle”, with positions that are extreme even for her peers and Nevada Republicans. On such things as Medicare, Social Security, veterans affairs, education and other stuff she is even too far right for the Republicans, to the point where a number of them, including Bill Raggio the Republican leader in the State Senate and Dema Guinn the former first lady of Nevada and widow of the Republican Governor at that time are endorsing Harry Reid, they say they will personally vote for Harry Reid’s reelection. Imagine too extreme for the Tea Party and not rich enough to be part of the SPREE Party.

RWJ ALERT, HOLY TOLEDO

Rich Lott is the Republican congressional candidate in Ohio for the 9th District. He has a hobby, and that is that he enjoys being a historical re-enactor. He likes to pretend he is a particular character, and he spend the weekends doing the exercises and imitating what those characters would and did do. So, what’s the rub with his particular obsession/passion as a role player? That’s because of the character he’s played, that of a member of the Nazi SS. That’s right, he likes to wear an SS uniform on the weekend, run around the woods and parade around, and to repeat, he is the current candidate for the 9th District in Congress for Ohio. Oh, shock of shocks, to RWJ (of course that means right wing Jews), he is a Republican. He doesn’t really believe in Nazi ideology, as he explained saying “you have to admire the country of Nazi Germany, a relatively small country compared to the world which militarily accomplished such great things” We wonder just how many Jews will vote for this guy. Some will, because he and they are Republicans, right? Mr. Iott offers that he did his costuming as a father and son bonding thing, and they happily wore SS uniforms together. Some fun. Seems they quit the group some 3 years ago when his son lost interest. He on his website said they did it out of admiration for the bravery of the SS Troops that gave their all so that they can be free. Actually that’s the epitome of a complete sentence as opposed to a complete truth, a trait we at Faux News Network regularly ascribe to the right wing. Mr. Lott pointed out that however unsavory the goals of the Nazis were (you think?) the Nazi SS gave their lives for the country they loved and to be free. The gifted Bill Maher made this complete sentence into a complete truth pointing out they would be “free to kill Jews.” As we always said, conservatives are always better with complete sentences than complete truths. Oh, the 9th district in Ohio includes Toledo, so we say again to RWJs “Holy Toledo look at who your Republican party is backing”.

MILLIONAIRE RELIEF, THERE IS HOPE

The State of Connecticut is the fourth highest in the number of millionaires in the United States. Number one being Hawaii, number two being Maryland, number three New Jersey and number 4 being the nutmeg state. It grew by 8% in the last year and at least as many of the public worries and votes on behalf of those living in the Linda McMansions who may well have to pay 3% more taxes, there is a little glimmer of hope their numbers have swelled by 8% even if they have to pay increased taxes of 3%. When these folks contribute to campaigns against the President and the administration saying the government hasn’t done what they were supposed to on the economy, we assume they mean…not for them.

A J BURNOUT

The Yankees have a pitcher that they signed as a free agent, with what we believe is a five year contract, this year being the second year. Last year while in the regular season he had a 5.00+E.R.A, in the post season he did win a key game in the second game of the World Series. This year, whatever lobotomy he had last year didn’t take hold. He may have a 100 million dollar arm (his contract is more than that), but he has a ten cent head. He just can’t get it together and he’s screwed up game after game, he has lost 10 of his last 11 starts. Here’s the outside, we at FauxNewsNetwork.com propose to be his agent; we see two of the following three manufacturers as possible sponsors, Rolaids or Tums (obviously one or the other and since the Yankees advertise them as well). We think a partnership with Johnny Walker Black, of Johnny Walker Company would be in order. Because, when you watch AJ Burnout, I’m sorry again, Burnett, pitch you want to take antacids and drink.

OILS WELL THAT IS NOT ENDING WELL

Apparently estimates that 75% of the oil had dissipated or been removed are under attack. People are claiming that 50% of it is still there in this largest of all oil spills in the Gulf of Mexico off the shores of Louisiana and other states. Either way 25% or 50% left is really rough and the process has to continue. But the independent panel reviewing it said that the government’s reaction was basically very sound after a first few hours of chaos. Well, I mean sure the folks of Katrina didn’t read the weather map and apparently the Obama folks didn’t read the spontaneous oil rig fire map. Has that one been updated? Well, any way for now oils well so far has not ended well but hopefully the payouts and the support for these folks continues.

WARMING TO THE TRUTH

On September 27, 2010 Los Angeles recorded a temperature of 113 degrees Fahrenheit; yes that’s right 113, the highest in history recorded for this time of year in that city. The rally to dispute global warming had to be cancelled when no air-conditioned buildings were available.

DEBATE; PALIN VS DASH - THE SPUNK SQUARE-OFF

Palin uses Twitter, Dash uses Barker but apparently they have been able to communicate and we will be giving you at Faux News some excerpts of their recent and ongoing debate. Dash began: “You say you’re a Pit bull with lipstick, I’m not scared of Pit-bulls, I’m all muscle and I’m way quicker than them and by the way I know how to snap a neck” Palin:“Did I tell you I’m a really big Pit-bull with lots of lipstick? And also I can morph into other species.” Dash: “I attack other species; I recently bit a 200 pound deer on the leg and have in the past killed numerous lizards and other animals”. Palin:”Did I tell you that I’ve switched from being a Pitt-Bull to a Mama Grizzly? And tell me how some little cultish Terrier is going to stand against that.” Dash: “Listen, you have no idea of my speed and what I got through on death row. You’re on “speech row” and my needs are much fewer, just a couple bowls full of the proper food each day and a few of my stuffed animal possessions. You however are on a money tour. “ Palin; “Listen just because you no longer have to go out on a leash and are trained, the Republicans took the leash off me after the first month in the McCain campaign. I take no backseat to you. Besides, if I believed and understood evolution, I’d know that dogs are the decedents of Mid East wolves, and I hunt wolves, Dash.” Dash: “According to Levi Johnson (you’re almost son-in-law several times), you don’t know how to operate a gun, much less shoot one. Based on your aim, I’m safe, I’ll just lean right, fake left; all you do is shoot right.” Palin: “Are you just like this mixed Terrier, of supposedly Tibetan Squirrel Terrier? Are there any squirrels even in Tibet?” Dash: “Which shows what a good job the breed did, Terriers are the smartest dogs, not that I want to throw up your education, and I question it. I went to puppy-obedience school and completed the class the first time.” Palin: “Puppy Obedience School!? I went to college.” Dash: “Colleges, you went to six of them, we are not even sure you got a degree. And I got the silver medal for puppy sit-ups.” Palin: “This is incredible, I am arguing with a Terrier and what’s this about, The Book of Dash on Faux News Network?” Dash: “Yes, folks felt the need to talk about me, and incidentally, I apparently wrote the same percentage of my book that you wrote of yours.”

OILS WELL THAT SPINS WELL

From April through July BP has spent 93 million dollars to enhance their image. That‘s three times what they spent the same period last year, but of course they weren’t polluting major portions of the United States last year. We hope the payments to innocent victims will vastly exceed the payments for the not so innocent oil company to improve its image. In any event, oil’s well that spins well.

BEYOND THE PALE, WHAT’S NEXT A TERRIER?

Dash Sarah We hear that Sara Palin has spunk. My terrier has spunk, he’s 15 lbs, he bit a deer on the leg, he’s killed a number of moles and other rodents, he faces anything down (faced two foxes in a fight and drove them off) now my terrier has spunk. He however, despite his total self confidence, gets no responsibility in long term financial or healthcare planning for the family. Now for those of you who are offended with me comparing Sara Palin to an animal, she always does that with herself. She was a pit-bull with lipstick, then she was a Mama Grizzly, so should she get executive office. I think we are entitled to know what species she’d serve as. And again on the matter of spunk, she can’t match up with my Dash.

RESISTING THE URGE

Clemens Taking A Oath On Monday, August 30, 2010 Roger Clemens pleaded not guilty to having lied under oath at a Congressional hearing. According to reports, he then left the court and went golfing. So we are trying – really, really trying - to resist the urge to talk about how well the driven man drove, how well the man with the iron will played his irons. And as far as putting and putts? History will be the judge; we did try to resist the urge, really.

"THE BABBLING OF THE BROOK, AN UPDATE ON HEY SCHOOL BOY REMEMBER “SCHOOL GIRL”

Wow, that’s a complicated title, we will explain; David Brooks certainly is as educated as they come, and has earned his magnificent piece of journalism real estate on a regular Op Ed column in the New York Times. But he is still the master of the not as far right, of the complete sentence as opposed to the complete truth. A flash backward is in order; there used to be a singing group called “Tom & Jerry” and they had a song called “Hey School Girl” and they had a t-shirt that stated they were 300 something on the hit parade, and their motto was; nowhere to go but up. Now, flash forward; Mr. Brooks points out that Iraq has the twelfth fastest growing economy in the world and is expected to grow at “7% for the next several years”, yah but again, think of this school girl situation, nowhere to go but up. After our 2003 campaign of Shock and Awe or based on what Halliburton and others did, Schlock and Claw, Iraq had nowhere to go but up. We certainly wish them well, but again, put a complete truth with that complete sentence; look how far down they are and as their economic development hopefully grows, could that include 24 hour electricity that most countries in the world have and actually what they used to have.

THE LANGUAGE OF LANGUAGE

Ok gang, you Fauxians out there converse regularly in English, although many of you (we have no doubt) have other language skills. But worldwide what are the most popular languages? In reverse order 10th most popular is German, 9th Japanese, 8th Russian, 7th Bengali, 6th Portuguese (I guess a lot of South America there). Ok, ready for the top five? (drum roll) the fifth most spoken language is Arabic, 4th English, uh oh, so that means there are three more, you probably guessed Spanish that’s 3rd. Did you guess Hindi is 2? We didn’t. And of course because of the population despite the one child policy the number one is Mandarin Chinese. We wonder when that is going to be offered regularly in school, in high school and pre-high school courses. In any event we think of English as the universal language of the world for literature and commerce because it’s ours, but it’s obviously something to think about speaking of speaking of languages.

THE CANCER OF LIES

When the right wants to deny healthcare for the vast majority of Americans they point out to the incredible cost asking how would we balance the budget? No mention (of course) of tax cuts for themselves which really helps imbalance the budget. But what they talk about is the high cost of lingering diseases, not mentioned by name but of course cancer is right up there with those. Interestingly, the American Cancer Society has just come out with figures (and so far they are not disputed) that cancer is only 5% of the healthcare in this country. Interesting, and while it’s been more expensive than it was decades ago, we shouldn’t consider the expense, we should consider the savings.

FRIDAY PHILOSOPHY

It’s not troubling that so many citizens are “aginers” against what the Government is doing. What’s troubling is they’re not aware of what the Government is doing. Example; the loans to the bank and bailouts, have already been paid back with a 20 billion dollar profit. If they know it and still don’t think it was a good idea great, but . . .

FOOD FIGHT, A TEACHING MOMENT

Whatever you think about the obesity problem in this country, I can’t imagine anyone would want it for themselves. A survey some years ago asked obese people this simple question: If you could be given a million dollars or be made a normal weight, which would you choose? Well over 95% just wanted to be a normal weight and live a normal life. So maybe we have to go to an abnormal diet, because it’s been shown that kids eating school lunches have a far higher rate of obesity than kids that don’t. This kid is going to be a lethargic kid, he’s going to be a less attentive kid, and he’s going to be a less educated kid. And when the Obama Administration said that this is the civil rights issue of this generation’s education, they are so right. High sodium, high fat foods are so wrong. Just food for thought when you hear about the educational food fight. We think if he were around, John Belucci from Animal House would agree.

LET’S START OUT WITH SOME DICK BLUMENTHAL SUGGESTIONS

Linda McMahon said no to healthcare for her employees, no to testing for steroids, no to safe working environment, she is the perfect person for the Party of NO. Second approach; you get people in their 50s & 60s saying “I hear from Linda McMahon they want outsiders, experience doesn’t count”. And then you have a surgeon, a fireman, a police chief, an airline pilot…you get people that are actually in those occupations supporting Richard Blumenthal and saying “we hear McMahon wants outsiders and not experience. Trust me, in a crunch you want my experience”.

“REPUBLICAN PROGRESSIVE” KEN MEHLMAN

We have a saying about Republicans and that is they often do become progressive, reasonable, open to change, aware of the world around them, that’s when they stop being Republicans. The latest example; Ken Mehlman, who was George Bush’s campaign manager in ‘04, you remember that campaign with all the anti-gay local agendas in swing states such as Ohio and Florida. Ok, Ken’s out of that now and he had a realization that it was time to let people know he was gay. All right, he said it has taken him “43 years to come to terms with this problem in my life”. But they always come to these terms after their Republican term. And now he is an advocate for gay marriage, now he’s an advocate for reason for discourse, and now he is against labeling and slander and fear because he’s no longer an active Republican. Gees, can these guys go back and talk to their former party members and say, if you’re going to get rational, why not have a legacy? Be rational when you are with the party, so later with the clearest of conscience you can party.

HIRE EDUCATION

Lately the GAO (Government Accounting Office) at the behest of the Obama administration is examining these for profit universities and the degrees of their degree. The fact is these online folks appear to be giving people a line. One example is; a basic massage course from a junior college goes for $500.00 and from these folks as much as $14,000.00. This is truly “hire education” as in they are being hired but how much education are people getting? A number of these as Stephen Colbert pointed out are owned by very reputable parent companies, for instance Goldman Sachs or as they are officially known to Fauxvians as Goldman Sacks and Plunders and now if you attempt to buy your education from those folks you’ll have plundered because (to repeat), these for profit universities online are giving you a line. Truly hire education

FOX NEWS, MOSQUING THE TRUTH?

Fox News and “Fox and Friends” are in a “fair and balanced” furor these days about the so called ground zero mosque. They’ve got some legitimate and grave concerns about the mosque’s main financial backer and his motives for doing so. They also have serious questions about his background indicating he financed a number of fundamentalist schools in Saudi Arabia. And, he is the same individual who offered millions to the 9/11 recovery fund that then Mayor Rudy Guiliani so vociferously refused. In fact, our friends at Fox will tell you just about everything you need to know about this man except…his…name. The public should know why. He is in fact a Saudi Arabian billionaire prince and by-the-by a good friend of George W. Bush, and his name is Alwaleed bin Talal. So is it reasonable to expect the Fox News folks (owned by Newscorp) to know his true identity? Probably, because they work for him. That’s right, Alwaleed bin Talal is the second largest shareholder in Newscorp behind Rupert Murdoch and this can no doubt be verified on their “fair and balanced” balance sheet. Imagine if this fundamentalist supporting Saudi prince were an owner of MSNBC, CNN, or even NBC, we would hear his name so often that even “Fox and Friends” would be able to spell it. As for right now, we would just like them to explain why they wont even say his name thereby mosquing the truth.

BEYOND THE PALE-IN JR

Bristol Palin has the challenges of being the daughter of a public figure and being a single mother. She is going to do a speaking tour on these challenges. Although, her challenges are going to be somewhat more evolved or modified, or have kind of a different ambience take your pick. She is going to be getting a minimum of $30,000.00 per speaking engagement so she is going to have to give an update on the challenges of a single mother who makes $30,000.00 per speech has to raise a child. That’s different and we are sure there will be no underlying political message on behalf of her mother. It will be a sincere discussion of the real struggles of the young single mother who’s like really, really raking it in. Hey, Kudos, when her mother said “does you love your freedom”? I guess this system in America here with speaking engagements and unlimited fees gives you a lot of it.

PLAGIARIZING IN ADVANCE

We’ve now done it to the best. For some time now, going back in to roughly 2008 we’ve talked about the followers of Glen Beck the equivalent of Rush Limbaugh’s ditto heads and these are the Becker heads. It seemed so perfect a label, we’ve received favorable commentary on it, but last week it turns out that in keeping with our custom of plagiarizing in advance we did it to the best. We did it to the esteemed Steven Colbert. Yes, that’s right. On May 13, 2010 the Colbert Report in a lengthy discussion of Glen Beck, the host mentioned, we have decided to call them Becker Heads. You should have told us Steven, we wouldn’t have been doing this since 08, we would never not give you credit, you are the esteemed one; you are the oracle of obliviousness and you are what every play on words or words on play affectionato hopes to be. So, we apologize to you the best, The Colbert Report, for having plagiarized in advance your term “Becker Heads”, but listen to him and listen to his followers. Congrats again, we hope you will accept our apology.

WE PLAGIARIZE IN ADVANCE, ON VIETNAM ERA SERVICE THIS TIME

We’d like to talk to Larry Pressler, he was a Republican Senator from South Dakota and he was in Vietnam from 1967 to 1968. He talks about the inherent unfairness of the draft (and it was unfair), and he talks about it every time one of the elite is mentioned in the media. CT AG Richard Blumenthal got five deferments and was in the Marine Reserves and Mr. Cheney got five deferments and was totally unapologetic, saying “I had more important things on my agenda”. Yes for every one of those folks, there was a “man instead” -a term we have used over the years in articles and on this website. Because there were draft quotas, and every town was required to send X amount of young men to that war in Asia and was going to fill their quota. Usually it was a poor person, often an African American, who went instead as Mr. Pressler, the former Republican Senator so rightly points out. For better or worse (and you can most certainly say more worse than better) you can say those were the politics and morays of the time. Oh, yes, John Ashcroft to our knowledge has the most Vietnam Era deferments; seven. Guess he knew his best security was staying in the homeland. So, let those who condemn Mr. Blumenthal, look at their own service or the service of relatives, spouses, friends, and let them look at their own voting record. Namely, if they voted for Mr. Cheney, and supported the appointment of Mr. Ashcroft, or personally had them or those who sent to Vietnam their man instead, then don’t say a word about Richard Blumenthal, because you are being as hypocritical now as you were then.

THE BARRON OF THE PLASTIC KINGDOM

John Shepherd-Barron was a Scotsman. In the 1960s he came up with the idea that he should be able to get his money even if the banks were closed and he created a machine which he could use a card to dispense money. Gee, you’re thinking; why didn’t he use an ATM? Because there weren’t any and that is what he invented. Yes, the crude form beginnings had some glitches, but it was refined and it is worth noting that in its original form a customer was not able to withdraw more than $14.00 in cash at a time. Now there is over 1.7 million ATMs around the world, you can draw great amounts of your own funds out, which seems only fair. We owe his wife one little debt of convenience; he suggested a six number pin and she said four would be fine and he went with that. We are a plastic kingdom and John Shepherd-Barron was the first Barron. He was born in India in 1925 to Scottish parents.

WE PLAGIARIZE IN ADVANCE, A G A I N

Several weeks ago we pointed out that Jay Leno due to his, well, lack of being funny was off of prime time and back to late night because he had gone GOP, so he was OPT. Several people had commented that they noticed that about Jay Leno. But this past weekend on Saturday Night Live News, when Tina Faye talked about her new “Sara Palin Network” and listed all sorts of unbelievable titles, she listed also the Jay Leno Show. This is an NBC parody on the NBC late night talk show host. People are starting to notice it. We have plagiarized them in advance, again.

THE LATEST LIZ FIZZ

Liz Cheney recently spoke at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference and she’s talking about how we treat the Afghanistan President Karzai, and that we don’t even refer to him as an ally. Of course, he did refer to the American troops as occupiers, and Liz said that she had worked on the Mid East and there was a saying in the Arab world that it is more dangerous to be America’s friend than to be America’s enemy. Of course this comes from when people like Liz Cheney did work in the Mid East. Also it should be pointed out that Afghanistan is not part of the Arab world but the facts never get in the way of the Southern Republican Leadership Conference, or of Liz Cheney, just another Liz Fizz. Karzai, it should also be pointed out has recently considered joining the Taliban, and yet Liz Cheney is in support of him. So, we have to wonder when the Republicans have asked, whose side is President Obama on? We have always said the more important question is who’s side are the Republican’s on? On the side of the man who says American Troops are occupiers and he considered joining the Taliban. Could you picture if a Democrat had said that? That actually would be news that would be on Faux News.

PARTISAN COURT IN SESSIONS

With Justice Stevens retiring, the possible nominees on the short list are Judge Diane Wood (US Court of Appeals7th circuit), Elana Kagan (Solicitor General), Judge Merrick Garland (US Court of Appeals - DC Circuit) and Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano. All these are mainstream, highly qualified possible justices. So, is bipartisanship still in sessions? Well, it is when you talk to Republican Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama. He is the ranking member on the Judiciary Committee and when asked by David Gregory about these people that Mr. Sessions well knows, would any of them be a non starter? He gave the classic shadow answer, “we have to look deeply into their background”. Among other things, we have to make sure they pass Clarence Thomas’ criteria for having a large enough porn collection, I guess. But with this answer you know it’s going to be a fight, there is no way to unite the un-unite-able because partisanship is in Sessions.

J.O.P. STAYS G.O.P.

Very much in the news (especially in the comic news) is the good ole boys night out to watch the good looking young girls night in at the voyeurs club in Los Angeles. All the pundits nationally made fun of the Republicans since this “non family values adventure” was to be charged to the RNC, well almost all. The exception was Jay Leno, to whom we shall henceforth refer by the moniker J.O.P. – “Jay’s Off Primetime”. And when you hear his latest round of jokes you can figure out why. Here is how he framed the blame involving the young right wing conservative’s foray into nude lesbian foreplay; he refers to the incident and then he concluded “now that’s something that the Republicans and Democrats can agree on”. Only Mr. Leno could gear up his humor in such a faux neutral way to have his punch line poke fun of Democrats for the Republicans night out, no make that blight out. That’s why he’s now JOP as in “Jay’s off primetime”. P.S. David Letterman was the man and got it right pointing out that any party who could do so well at tying up health care and other important matters in congress would certainly be comfortable watching women be tied up.

NOT MUCH METTLE IN THAT THERE STEELE; UPDATE

Putting aside the 15-20 thousand or so that RNC chairman Michale Steele has spent on private jets and luxury suites, much more attention is being paid to the approximately $2000 that the RNC recently spent at a LA strip club. It seems the party of the good ole boys enjoyed watching good looking young girls engage in simulated acts of lesbian sex and bondage. What be wrong with this situation? The RNC said they are not sure which members were at the club, but guarantee this time Mr. Steele wasn’t there. The evening was paid for on the credit card of a noted young conservative Christian leader named Eric Brown. A lady was there from the Republican organization “Young Eagles” (also enjoying the show), and assured Mr. Brown he would be reimbursed by the RNC. Most interesting is the treatment of this by an often impaired and imbalanced news organization which had as their byline “Democrats and Republicans exchange accusations over LA strip club incident”. Cute, aint it? They managed to get Democrats in the headline of a totally Republican fiasco. What did the Democrats do wrong here, other than laughing to heartily at Mr. Steele’s embarrassment? But, that’s the problem with such biased coverage; it can get all fluxed up

IDAHO FEISTINESS, NO SMALL POTATOES

One of the states challenging the constitutionality of the health care law is Idaho and this is not an animal house moment, but the Governors name is C. L. “Butch” Otter. They have signed a law to sue the federal government for requiring people to get health insurance. Interestingly, Idaho has the fewest doctors per capita in the country, so maybe such an approach isn’t an “animal house” moment, but a “Mr. potato head” moment.

Religious Absolut, is 100 proof required?

Consider these felonies on the current news scene; a militant Christian organization called “Huratee” plans to create unrest by killing one police officer and killing many more at his funeral. Consider the case of Scott Broder convicted of the pre meditated murder of an abortion doctor who was sentenced this past week. His reasoning given in a rambling statement was that he got his inspiration from the scriptures. Just as current are the awful suicide bombings in Chechnya where dozens of people were murdered by 2 female Moslem suicide bombers who replicated that religion’s sad tradition of viewing murder as a solution. As we contemplate these religious fundamentalists we can’t help but think what a fundamentally more peaceful world this would be without such mindsets. Perhaps their religious leaders should focus more on the topic of respect for life vs. ritual and that the taking of life is the ultimate act of blasphemy.

WE WISH ALL A HAPPY PASSOVER AND SUMPTUOUS SEDERS

We appreciate your support, so we feel safe in leaving you with this thought; why is this blog different from all other blogs?

A CANTOR WHO SANG AT LEAST AN ACCURATE SONG

Eric Cantor, minority whip was asked on This Week; will this healthcare reform bill ruin the country as Representative John Boehner had said? He was asked this four times, and he of course didn’t answer the question. He said three times “it’s all about the fear”. And he truly has encapsulated the Republican approach toward politics, logic, ideology and healthcare, it’s all about the fear. Mr. Cantor, we salute the fact that while you may sing off key, your lyrics do make sense because no one can describe the thief (the thief of peace of mind) better than the one doing the stealing. As you said Mr. Cantor, it is all about the fear. Although, the 40 plus million people without healthcare, 40,000 of whom will die next year probably have a different kind of fear. And if this vote is going to ruin the Democrats and not ruin the country, because you are not willing to say it will, it sounds like you should be singing a happy song. And let us remind those of you in Faux Nation; Eric Cantor plays an important role in the Republican Party’s Jewish representation because with Eric Cantor as their elected representative, they are only nine short of a Minyan.

JUST ONE ARMENGEDDON AND YOU ARE FRIGHTENED

Representative John Boehner (R – Ohio), the House Republican Leader said that there were some “regrettable instances from the tea party group” through anti-gay epithets and in two cases spit on black members of the House of Representatives. Where could they have gotten so extreme? He said the American people don’t like the bipartisan process. And what can cause this? Maybe when he said that this healthcare reform bill would be Armageddon, that might have gotten a few people upset and work on the fear factor, because you know you are just one Armageddon away from having, well, a very bad week, or year, or eternity. And we also want to thank Mr. Boehner for emphasizing the importance of a complete sentence verses a complete truth. His complete sentence; The American healthcare system is the best in the world. The complete truth; If you can get it and if you can keep it and won’t be denied it.

STILL NOT MUCH METTLE IN THERE STEELE

Michael Steele, Republican National Committee Chairman as he decried the lack of bipartisanship on the Sunday morning talk shows, it was pointed out to him that the healthcare plan that President Obama supports is virtually identical to that of Richard Nixon and him calling it socialist is inflammatory and misleading, to say the least. His answer was; it’s not what the plan is, it’s what the American people feel. Meaning he’s proud of having so distorted what the actual plan is and coupled with Eric Cantor, on the same Sunday morning saying, it’s not about the plan it’s about the fear. You have the Republicans waving their own banner, labels and fear and by their account “only” 30,000 people die a year without healthcare, that’s only ten Twin Towers. Not much metal in their steel.

HISTORICAL STAFF INFLECTION

Interesting fact, at least it is to us at Faux News, is that no Chief of Staff has ever served an entire four-year term with a President. For one reason or another, the stresses, the close contact, the triumphs and defeats, they wind up being replaced along the way. Of course all staff members of the President submit undated resignation letters the day they are hired, so that that part is easy for the Commander in Chief. People can only ponder as to how the explosive Rahm Emanuel will thrive under the detached (and at time) low key Barack Obama. Yet he didn’t want the job, because he had a career as congressman that would have possibly led to him being the first Jewish Speaker of the House and he was persuaded by the President to take it and so far, so good, no staff inflection.

HIGH DRAMA OBAMA

We’ve heard the phrase “no drama Obama” for his cool and calm demeanor. But that is not when he is at his best; he is at his best when he is campaigning. So out he went; meeting with Democrats willing to talk. Sadly “Republicans willing to talk” seems to be a contradiction in terms these days, because they are the party of no, know, or don’t want to know. In any event the house passed a historic, sweeping healthcare legislation and when the Republicans tried to derail it with a faux-prolife amendment, Representative Stupak of Michigan a leading, anti-abortion activist spoke up saying that this was not about Pro-life this was about anti-healthcare. He pointed out so rightly (as we have on Faux News) that nothing can be more prolife than preventative prenatal healthcare, because to be pro-birth, you would have to be pro-health. And, obviously there is no more a prolife message than a health bill which can reverse this horrible trend of 45,000 Americans dying because of lacking healthcare, although right wingers contend it’s only 30, 0000. Makes you want to say, “feel better already”, doesn’t it?

LINDSEY GRAHAM-TO THE RIGHT BUT NOT A CRACKER

Lindsey Graham, Republic Senator from South Carolina has many times worked with Democrats, in a more center-right way (but that is who he is) on among other topics immigration reform. Now he is bitterly opposed to the idea that we will be a reconciliation generation, that we will have healthcare reform through reconciliation, that it will be a nine hundred billion dollar bill over ten years, even though the Congressional Budget Office does affirm that monies will be saved this decade and even more the following decade. But those facts aside, he considers reconciliation a sleazy process, yet was unable to answer on This Week why the Republicans had used it far more than the Democrats, including to pass a 1.8 trillion dollar tax cut (twice the size of the health care bill) the biggest such cut in our nation’s history in time of war under (who else?) President George W. Bush. Senator Graham dodged the question, he bobbed, he weaved, and then he said for the Democrats to use reconciliation is like playing football with 12 men on the field, well, actually there are 22 men on the field, but to go beyond that Mr. Graham should have gone all out and attacked with a complete truth, instead of a complete sentence. He should have said that when the Democrats use reconciliation to put through multi-billion dollar bills, who do they think they are…..us?

BRIDGING THE BROOKS OF REASON

We at the Faux have (on a pretty good number of occasions) talked about “babbling brooks”, referencing David Brooks who would nuance this, access that, judge something else, but would always come up on the side of the of the political right wing. Somehow, he always endorsed the Republicans and always leaned to the right side, an opinion to which he is entitled. In his column in the New York Times on Friday, March 12, 2010, entitled “ Getting Obama Right” is a shocker, because in the view of Faux he nailed it, he got Obama right. Long story short, while they disagree on fundamental things, he feels that Barack Obama “is still the most realistic and reasonable major player in Washington“. He further goes on to say, “in a sensible country Obama would be able to clearly define his project without fear of offending the people he needs to get legislation passed”. And then he sadly, or realistically, (or maybe for the future if more people buy into this) notes that this is not that country. But, if people did not live in what he calls “information cocoons“they could be that country, because the information is out there, you just have to listen to others (as in our president). You have to listen to the case in Afghanistan for a surge that has the Taliban on the run, and again as Mr. Brooks pointed out (and we have noted) leaders are being regularly killed and assassinated. These people are not doing well under their secret Kenyan Muslim president and the world is not condemning us for it. Because, when you have a man that is not dismissive on a world stage our case doesn’t get dismissed. Oh, that our country can catch up and reason with our leader. Interesting times, huh?

SHOULD WE BE ROAD WORRIORS?

The Department of Transportation reports that in the year 2009 there were “only” 34,000 deaths on our roads, the least since 1954. And really that is even better if you consider the population of then and now. Remember those who resisted seat belts, airbags and right up on to healthcare reform because they are brothers and sisters under the skin and the lives that were or could be saved makes you want to keep keeping with the Government and let Americans do what they want right? I am waiting for the right wingers and the ultimate, oh, you progressives that are so obsessed with saving lives to get a life. P.S. You have to be living to get one.

RECONCILIATION GENERATION

RECONCILIATION GENERATION

For those of you who are unfortunate enough to be between jobs but fortunate enough to be on Cobra, but don’t like the Obama plan to do healthcare by reconciliation, we have a symbolic and patriotic, I guess you might say an archaistic gesture to make. Cobra gives you the right to buy insurance for eighteen months after you leave your job, and this bill was a bill passed by reconciliation, did you know? So, cut yourself off from it and go without healthcare, be one of those proud forty million Americans without healthcare and says the hell with you Obama and don’t tea bag your life, but bag your life. But again it’s an important symbolic gesture, you don’t believe in reconciliation and you simply have to refuse your Cobra to prove it.

WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MARCHING MIGHT BE BETTER

We had the Tea Bag marches, we had the Million-Man March, we had the anti-war Marches. How about this for a march on every State Capital, in every state; a march by people who only fall into three groups; 1) You have been dropped by a healthcare plan because of an illness, 2) You can’t get healthcare because of a pre-existing condition (by the way in some cases include domestic battery, where you tend to get bruises around the head, neck and shoulders) 3) a relative or close friend of yours had died because of the being unable to get healthcare for the aforementioned. That would be some interesting march in all the State Capitals and if walking is good for their health, we think marching just might be better.

THE BEN-DULUMS OF JUSTICE, IN UNION THERE IS WEAKNESS

There is no weaker players union in pro-sports than in the National Football League. The NFL has limits to what the players can get paid, but no bottom as contracts are one way streets, which the owners can void at any time. But interesting also is their code of conduct (if you want to call it a code) which says that if you are charged with a crime but exonerated you can still be suspended. Now, Ben Roethlisberger has been charged with a sexual assault, a very serious problem. But if he didn’t do anything wrong how can you suspend him for being charged? Anyone can be charged with a crime, that’s kind of a harsh swing of the Ben-dulums of justice. But that’s apparently one aspect of the collective bargaining that is not in the NFL’s union, if you want to call that a bargain.

TAKING MUSTER ON THE FILIBUSTER

Ira Shapiro, lawyer from DC and former senate staffer, brought up some interesting facts in a recent PBS interview. He quoted Ronald Reagan who liked to say, “The stubbornness of numbers.” He used to say respect the stubbornness of numbers, which may show the stubbornness of people. Because, the tip-toe congressional session for the longest time in this country, like until now there has been seven (7) filibusters, and in the last congressional session, eighty (80). That is a quantum difference. That is not a very good sign for getting government to move where movement is needed. It forces us to realize that those that live by filibuster are not passing muster

NO WAIVERS ON WAVERS

How many of us have been fascinated, distracted, amused, to find Statue of Liberty type characters walking the street, advertising tax help or whatever. Well, at least in Bristol this is a problem, because they are passing a zoning ordinance against it. And these waving Statue of Liberty men or women, as the case may be (always thought she was a lady), have to work inside. Liberty Tax in Bristol for instance had two wavers outside, but unless they get a waiver for their waver they won’t be around much longer.

OFF HAND, THIRD HAND, ANOTHER PRESUMPTION UP IN SMOKE

The latest medical documentation of the harms of cigarettes is that there is first hand smoke when you smoke it, second hand smoke when you are next to someone smoking it , and now a thing called third hand smoke, which means the absorption into the carpets, and fabrics around the house. And the most in danger are the kids. This could counter obesity, because the French supposedly keep lean by smoking a lot. But, we would like to think there is a better way like diet and exercise. We will say again at Faux News we feel the cigarette labels are all wrong. Here is the right one. If you follow instructions you die in agony. If that doesn’t bring a nervous smile from the puffs of us, what would?

CHARLIE WILSON’S SWORD

We learned today of the death of Congressman Charlie Wilson, who served his Texas congressional district for twenty-five years. He is best known of course for secretly funding the war in Afghanistan to drive out the Russians, and also for noting that our failure to fill that vacuum and educate the people for a small amount of money (relative to what we spent on war there) could have changed the whole course of Al-Qaida and the whole terrorist movement. He said we won the battle and we screwed up the end game and sadly he was right. He was the only civilian ever to be awarded the CIAs highest honor, and he was quite a character. When asked about the portrayal by Tom Hanks of him in the movie Charlie Wilson’s War, as a high living, high drinking, happily grouping divorced congressman, he said, “I thought they treated me kindly”. We think history will too.

If you enjoyed this article Please comment Or click here to bookmark us!!